#112 Are you living the life you always wanted?

Rachel Denning (00:00.814)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Extraordinary Family Life podcast. Today, I want you to go on a little journey with me. Go in your mind, back in time. And for some of you, you may need to go back just a few years. For some of you, you might need to go all the way back to your childhood. But I want you to go back in your mind in time and remember...

dreams you had not not the dreams that you had at night but dreams of your future big dreams big goals the things you dreamed about achieving doing becoming go back in time go back in your mind with me what are those things what did what did you used to dream about

Rachel Denning (00:55.694)
What did you used to see and envision? What did you used to get so excited about that you could daydream about it for hours or it would keep you up at night?

What dream did you have?

Rachel Denning (01:13.71)
And then here's my big question.

What dream have you given up on?

What goal have you let go?

I want you to go with me on another little trip here, another little journey. We were in Guatemala, this was years ago. We had gone down to visit some friends and we literally were gonna stay two or three weeks. We were on this big overlanding trip as a family, which was so awesome. I kind of miss overlanding. There's something, a little toll tangent here.

We should all try different modes of travel There's just something to be learned by it. There's something to be learned by Flying private jets, right? Oh man, that is so nice There's or even small airplanes like take a teeny little airplane and go somewhere There's something to be said about you know an experience in big international flights

Rachel Denning (02:20.077)
And then there's something to be experienced in trains. Take speed trains and take slow trains. There's something to be experienced and learned in taking buses. Nice buses and chicken buses, what they call it chicken buses through central South America. Oh my goodness. I've hours and hours and hours across countries and mountains and windy roads and every kind of condition and in the swamp heat and no air conditioning. Oh.

Insane stuff But take a bus do it sometime where you just packed in there packed in there like Sardines and you're smashed for adults to a little seat that's supposed to be for three kids and it was a school bus from the 70s and then driving or cycling we've met many many people who cycled across the United States or cycled from Alaska to

Panama, we met one family who rode their bicycles with their kids from Alaska to the bottom of Argentina. I've met people who walked from Alaska to the bottom of Florida, literally walked it. Right. Um, and so every, every mode of travel or ridden motorcycles, lots of motorcyclers. So I think it'd be valuable. So tolls toll side tangent here that I was not expecting just kind of came up.

just travel in all these different ways. So we were overlanding and there's something wonderful about overlanding. You just, you pack your stuff up, you got some tents, you stay in tents or hotels or hostels, you just drive across a big stretch and you do it kind of slowly so you can stop and experience things. You can take little detours. And the way we did it, in fact, we did a massive stretch of it, multiple countries without any maps. We would just go and ask, hey, where do we go? How do we get here?

And then we would ask the locals wherever we went, hey, what are, tell me about some beaches, some waterfalls, beautiful things to see or do an experience here locally. And we got, I mean, we ended up having experiences and, oh man, seeing things, meeting people that never would have happened otherwise. Things that would never pop up in a, in a Google search or on the map or anything. It was, oh, it was unreal and best restaurants and oh, so cool. Anyways, back to my story.

Rachel Denning (04:45.549)
We had been overlanding from Alaska. We were going to go, we were going to drive all the way to Argentina. We made it to Panama and then decided to go to Europe instead. But while we were in Guatemala, we met this wonderful, wonderful family and just such great people. And we realized that there's this good, hardworking people who just didn't have enough.

And this one particular family loved them so much. They, it's Juan and Paulina were the parents and they had three kids. And at the time we met him, he was earning about $60 a month, I think, to try to support his family. And they lived up the steep dirt path up to a little adobe house. And he was just an incredible human being, both of them, just great, great people, the kind of people you just want to be like. And.

love and admire and honor. And I remember talking to him. We, we had, we wanted to help him. He was so, he was so, he was sharp. He'd grown up, been out on his own as a little kid, literally was out on his own at seven, eight grass to survive. His parents were alcoholics and just beat him. I mean, tough, tough story. Uh, didn't go to school, grew up speaking Kakchikel and then later learned, uh, no, Kiche and a little bit of Sutuhil.

and then taught himself Spanish. I mean, oh, just incredible story. But I remember talking to him at one point and asking him if he had dreams, you know, because we wanted to help him, wanted to help him. He was smart, he was hardworking. We were like, we got to come up with some ways to help this guy thrive, which we ended up doing. And then we ended up co -founding this wonderful organization. It's now it's called Cultiva International. It's a wonderful nonprofit that helps people in Guatemala.

It's self -reliance. It's helping them feed themselves, get nutritious food and grow gardens and just really awesome. And by the way, side note right now at the time of this recording, because of the shutdown of the economy and COVID, like the people have literally run out of food and the government for a while handed out food and then they ran out. And so like many families literally do not have any food and no means to earn food because the government has still shut everything down.

Rachel Denning (07:12.301)
And so if you're in a place where you can donate, please do that. I know I have some friends in Mexico. They're doing the same thing. They're gathering money and then Cultiva is accepting money and literally just giving food to people who have no food. So if you're in a position to help, um, look up Cultiva international and I know them really well. I totally trust them. The money goes straight to the people. Um, side note there, if you can help. But I remember asking Juan what he dreamed about and he's like, no, I don't.

Like, what about goals, dreams, if you could do anything? Like, none. And we pushed and we pressed, like, what's going on? And finally it came out. He's like, he basically said, well, I just, I didn't let myself dream because it was too painful.

because he says, I believed that it would never happen. So why dream about it? It just hurt. And I get it, right? That makes sense. If you sit there and dream about something that you believe will never happen, that's just torture. And it's interesting, I learned that years ago and then as I've come across people all over the world and as you do coaching and work with you guys and with wonderful people, I realize a lot of you have told me that,

you kind of did the same thing. You got into adult life and you just stopped dreaming. You stopped allowing yourself to dream. You just kind of shut that down and kind of acquiesced, right, into this, well, this is the way things are. And you settled into reality. And we all do it. I've done it too. Maybe you, I'm assuming you've probably done it a little bit. What goal or dream have you given up on?

And that's why I wanted you to go with me in this journey back years ago to what are the things you dreamt about? What are the goals you had? What things in your youth or in your 20s or 30s, where you're just like, oh yeah, someday, yes, I'm gonna do that, right? And what are those things? In fact, I would love, love, love, I wish we were all together and could share, but I would love for you to message me. If we're not connected on social media, on Facebook or Instagram.

Rachel Denning (09:25.517)
connect with me and shoot me a message, share it with me. I would love to hear what dream maybe you've, you had, or have given up on. And my point today, my hope today is to rekindle that dream. I think sometimes, yeah, life can be hard. I'm with you. Life can be brutal and it can blow us. It can hit us some, some hard blows and blow us over and knock us off path and, and beat us down. But there's a resilience inside of us.

There's strength inside of you, a lot of it. And I'm guessing it hasn't been fully tapped into yet. And so I want to invite you today to dream again, to bring up that old goal, that old dream and start working on it. Start asking yourself, instead of just saying, well, that'll never happen, just start saying, how could it happen? How could I make that?

Maybe you're living in a place that you don't want to live in and you had a dream of having your own little farm or, or maybe it's an apartment in the city. I don't know. Maybe you had this dream of, of going to see the seven wonders of the world or to visiting all seven continents or to, you know, overlanding. Maybe you're crazy like us and you want to overland across the Silk road, right? That's what overland trips we want to do.

And or maybe you just want to buy those one way plane tickets. They're called around the world tickets and you literally just keep flying in one direction. You just pick your direction. You just as many flights as you can. Just going in one direction and you circle the earth. Maybe you want to take a year or two or 10 and just wander with your family. Maybe you want to start a nonprofit.

Maybe you just want to get a six pack. Right? You ever wanted that? You ever wanted a six pack? Or maybe you ever wanted to do, for some of you, maybe just you wanted to do one pull up. For some of you, maybe you want to do 60. Or you ever got to the 100 push up club? It's a thing. The 100 push up club, you can do 100 consecutive push ups without a break. Or maybe you just wanted to lose the weight and you've just given up.

Rachel Denning (11:53.133)
I know some of you maybe you've tried and you're just like, ah, I'm done. And you just kind of quit. And I want you to, whatever your dream is, whatever your goal is, if you still want it, sometimes it changes. That's normal, right? We'll have some, I've had some goals and dreams and I'm like, it just shifted. I'm like, yeah, I don't want that anymore. But when I stop and think about it, I was like, yeah, there's, there's still some goals and dream. And I did it today. And I was just thinking like, what are some things that I dreamt about doing? I'm like,

Yeah, I still want to do that. I had this goal and I have, I said, I let it go for a while, but I think, I think it's coming back. I want to break 20 ,000 feet. So I want to go up a mountain and get higher than 20 ,000 feet. And there's not many peaks that do that. And it is way up there, my friends. So I've been up to 18 ,500 and I want to get, um,

Kilimanjaro is like 193 or 1905 or something. So it's close. I want to break 20. And as I was thinking about my, yep, I still want to do it. It's, I talked to a friend the other day and he had his whole life always wanted to do a backflip, but he never did. And now he's 40. And I talked to him. He's like, you know what? I'm going to do it. I'm going to figure out and do it. I'm doing this summer. Awesome. I talked to a young man.

And he says, you know what, I'm going to learn how to dunk a basketball this summer. I'm going to work out so hard and work on my vertical. I'm going to dunk a basketball this summer. And like maybe, maybe you wanted to make something. Maybe you wanted your goal or dream was with music or art or creativity. Maybe you wanted to start a business and you're like, no, you stopped. What is it? What's your thing? And message me, seriously message me. I want to know. I wish we were all together so we could share right now. But what is it?

What's your thing? What's your thing that you maybe have given up on? And I want to ask you this question and give you some hope and encouragement. And I've got my own story is this of like, you know, just kind of accepting, kind of acquiescing, right? And settling and like, oh no, it'll never be great. And I remember going through time periods like that of trying and failing and thinking, oh,

Rachel Denning (14:14.669)
I should just give up. This is ridiculous. It's just torture. Why why did I think we could ever do this, right or Yeah, and I've met so many people that just they wanted to Acquiesce or quit they just never thought they could do it and but that when we get that grit and when we get that hunger and when we get that drive and that resilience and that determination inside of us I

then these dreams can come alive and they can happen. And I've met so many incredible people that have literally created their seemingly impossible dreams. And if they can do it, you can do it. And if I can do it, you can do it. And so if you still have that dream, if you still have that desire, I want to invite you to bring it back to life and slap it on a vision board and rewrite it every morning.

I've shared that strategy with you and I share it with my coaching clients. One of the most powerful things you can do is literally rewrite your big goals every single morning with pen and paper, literally read, not don't type them out, just rewrite them and maybe even say them out loud and rekindle that fire and then start getting a concrete plan where you feel like every week you're at least taking steps in that direction. You with me? Like,

That way it feels real because if we just talk about it and think about it but we don't do anything and we don't have a plan, then it even gets more painful and frustrating. And we start saying, oh, it'll never happen. Here I go again. I'm just a failure. I tried it before and it didn't work. I'm going to try it again and fail again. And don't do that. Learn from your mistakes. What did you try last time that didn't work? What did you fail to try last time that didn't work? Look at the systems. Look at the strategy.

Look at the state you're in, look at the stories you told yourself and switch that so it becomes possible. Get a coach, get some accountability, set up systems to succeed, get some grit and determination and resilience and awaken that so you can go after it and like really get a solid plan this time to make it work. But the big question is this, are you living the life you've always wanted?

Rachel Denning (16:36.909)
And particularly, you know my message is all about families. Are you living the family life you've always wanted?

And if you're not, why not?

Why haven't you done it yet?

What's stopping you? What's holding you back?

What has prevented that from happening? Man, let this sink in. This is so powerful. This is so huge. Are you living the life, be honest with yourself. Some of you have settled for way less and then told yourself, well, yeah, this is what I really want.

Rachel Denning (17:22.541)
And if that's true for you, if you have settled for less and then told yourself that's who you wanted, I'm calling you out with love, right? I'm calling you out. Level up.

but be 100 % honest with yourself. If you genuinely are right now living the life you always wanted, man, congratulations. Celebrate that stuff. Stay on it. Don't settle. Don't sit back and relax and think you've arrived. I mean, stay on your game. Keep your edge, right? So you can keep doing it. But if you're shy of the life you've always wanted to live, consider this a call to action.

and a call to rise up and you can do it. Yes, you can do it. Like some of you might, I can't, I'm so stressed. I'm so worn out. I'm so done. I'm like overwhelmed already. And sometimes the very thing we need is another big goal to push us because we're afraid of being overextended, but sometimes overextension is the thing we need.

We're afraid of being overloaded, but sometimes overload is the thing we need because that's where growth happens. That's where we stretch and expand. That's where we can level up and become better because you don't get stronger by doing only what you can do. You get stronger by attempting to do more than you can do. That's what forces you to level up, to expand. Does that make sense? Like you find growth and strength and...

and expansion when we're testing our capacities. When we're pushing our current limits, it makes our limits bigger. Now, I love this stuff. I love this stuff. So maybe the very thing you need is to rekindle this dream. Bring it back to life. Resurrect that thing. Get it up there and...

Rachel Denning (19:28.557)
Shout out to the world share it with your loved ones And watch out some of them are gonna shoot it down. Some of them are gonna poopoo on your dream But and share it with me and get it out there and and if you guys get in get in our extraordinary family life group coaching it's just we have this tribe of people who are chasing down their dreams and We're supporting each other. We've got a 28 day challenges the trackers. We were

We get output of videos almost every day of tools and strategies for your health, for your marriage, for your parenting, for your family culture and lifestyle, for finance, family finances. And we're just, we're giving you all these tools so that you can make this dream a reality.

Rachel Denning (20:17.805)
Oh man, I love this stuff.

Rachel Denning (20:22.925)
So will you do that please? Just give it, even if you have just a few minutes, give it a few minutes. If you can give it more, sit down and write about it, journal about it tonight. Really get it out. What did you used to dream about? What big goals did you have?

Have you given up? Have you kind of let them go? Have you acquiesced? Have you settled for less than the life that you really want?

and choose that thing.

Rachel Denning (20:58.829)
Choose that thing.

Whatever it is, maybe it's built around relationships, maybe it's built around finances, maybe it's built around a certain kind of lifestyle or a contribution. Whatever it is, bring it back to life, get strategic about it, start building it. And if you need some help, if you've attempted before and it didn't work, or you feel just totally trapped and like, I don't know how to do this or...

You don't feel like you have the knowledge or the skill set. You don't know what to get from where you are to where you want to go. Let me help sign up for a personal coaching session. I go to gregdenning .com and sign up for that. Like this is what I do. I get to do this every day. I love it. How cool is that? Right? This is the greatest. This is the greatest work I get to help people create their dreams and goals and just make massive shifts, right? And just come up with strategies that actually work proven.

principles, proven practices that create momentum towards living the life you always wanted to live.

Let's do it my friends. I believe this. I believe every one of us has the potential and the capacity and the power to make it happen, to create it, to be creators, to be dreamers that become creators and we create our dreams. So let's go out, let's make it happen. Let's help each other, let's cheer each other along. Share those dreams with me. Resurrect them, share them with your friends and loved ones. Get in a community or tribe that can support you. Get accountability, get coaching if you need to.

Rachel Denning (22:35.693)
Grab the books. I got an awesome book list if you want that. In every genre, just get after it. Let's resurrect that dream and do the work to create it and live it. Awesome is always an option, my friends. Always an option. Reach upward.