#18 Your moral obligation to become your best self

hey guys this is Greg Denning and you are in the school of awesome sauce where I share with you Amazing Stories and strategies to help you live an extraordinary

[Music] life hey guys welcome to another episode of the school of awesome sauce I'm actually in Nashville Tennessee right now at an amazing conference and it just has me it has me all just fired up and excited about growth and Improvement and progress and you guys have maybe heard me say before because I say it all the time I love it there's never a graduation from education we just have this incredible opportunity and I think Duty and responsibility to keep growing and learning all the time and a lot of people stop learning because it's uncomfortable you especially as you if you get into a place where you feel comfortable and confident and competent then to start something new is really uncomfortable like I started when I was 40 years old I started taking violin lessons and it was so uncomfortable because I'm I'm a 40-year-old man right and I'm sitting there like screeching on the violin and you feel like it feels so childish right you try something new it's like and I'm learning French right now as well and I I know I Slaughter the pronunciation and I don't understand I get all excited about it and I try to talk to somebody in French and I'm right it just doesn't work out and and there's something to be said about that discomfort about being in that place where you're willing to be uncomfortable you're willing to set aside the ego you're willing to be the rookie and the Newbie and the person making mistakes and falling down on your face in front of other people right CU it feels so embarrassing and so vulnerable but we have to do that we have to be willing to show up and say I know nothing and I'm no good at this but I'm going to be good at this and I'm going to know something and pay that price I think many many people remain underdeveloped simply because they are unwilling to get uncomfortable again and keep learning we need to develop that lifelong habit of being curious voracious Learners you've probably already heard the statistics of you know the the the average top executive uh reads around 60 books a year and attends about six conferences a year right now that's that's a lot of investment I mean they're spending time on courses and mentoring and training and books and and they see tremendous value in that they're they're not sitting there saying well I don't have time I don't have the money like this is worth it to me I get one idea out of this book or one idea out of this conference it's worth all the time effort and money and and often there's million dooll ideas or even you know we don't have to compare it to to money it's totally transformational ideas ideas that will train change your marriage and transform your parenting your psychology your emotionology right your your emotional Mastery how it'll it'll transform your spirituality every part of your life if will go after it but the average American leads reads less than one book a year I can't even believe that and um I read this study that said most people do not read a non-fiction book after their last graduation whatever that is from high school or college they stop reading and then they're reading you know if they do read it's some kind of fluff or junk that really doesn't help them get better and so I want to challenge all of us myself included to stay on this course of learning and growth and Improvement and making change because you look you guys are great people you're you're really good people living good lives but I'm guessing if you're like most of us you want to level up there's something built inside of you that wants to keep improving wants to keep growing wants to keep pursuing the next level even if you've achieved something great even if you've done good things and your life is good there's still something in our souls which is called the upward reach right there's still this longing in us it's like built into our souls and our DNA and just everything in us that's saying keep growing keep learning keep going going right and and I love it I love meeting people this morning in the gym when I was working out uh here at the hotel I met this guy from from the UK and he's got these super successful martial arts businesses and fitness businesses and I mean he's like and he's he told me he's like everything's good man I got my I got my cars I got my house I got everything I need I'm running my businesses got my wife and family he's like but I feel driven to make a change in the world I want to make a difference I want to do something I want to contribute like I want to change the world and he wants to change education I mean and I love this I love this this pursuing purpose and and Mission and fulfillment and meaning right because once once we get rid of those things that we think are what we want you know the nice car and he said that he's like all the fancy car and the fancy house and all those things like you get them and you're like okay whatever but what what really matters is doing something that's meaningful and impactful and so we want you know I I suspect you're listening to this you want more what we what we call Freedom income um we actually have we call it our freedom income Mastermind we we meet each month to Mastermind ideas with our students our clients to to help them start or grow their businesses because we all want freedom income income that allows us to do what we love to do and where we want to do it and how we want to do it we want more excitement and passion and love and Spark in our marriage right to be best friends and not just kind of transactional blah and you know everywhere I go all the time I'm meeting with couples that there's a lot of tension and a lot of pressure on their marriages or even if it's good it's just kind of it's just transactional just kind of going through the motions of doing life and family together and want some some excitement back and and there's usually strain and struggle and challenge with children you know from screen addiction and fighting and non-responsiveness and parents you know overreacting and yelling at the kids you know getting super upset at them and and the kids pushing buttons and the parents pushing the buttons back and and the drama triangle and then these massive withdraws from the emotional bank account right and and damage relationships we just want to connect we want to be close we want to we want to go through life we want to figure out how to get things done right to be productive to use our time well and our energy to be in the best shape of Our Lives to do things like I mentioned earlier that are fulfilling we want to be effective right we want to get and stay organized and motivated and we want to dream like I talk to people all over the Earth we want to dream we want to dream again and many of us have just kind of squelch this idea of dreaming it's like oh settle into reality oh this is just the way things are and the reason we ever do that you guys whenever you say oh here's what happens right we get frustrated we get irritated we try we fail and what it is we actually are getting to the end of our own skill set and our own knowledge base and when we reach the end of that too many of us just go well guess gu that's the way things are guess this is how it is and we give up there thinking that that's the way things are when really that's just the way we are and we are all of us like if you get nothing else from today listen to this and write it down every one of us lives within the limits of our knowledge base and our skill set right we all live within the limits of our own knowledge and skill set like the mindset the skill set it's what you know and what you do that can find you and those those limits you guys are self-imposed because we can push those limits but it's really uncomfortable and it takes consistency and massive effort right but we live excuse me we live in the confines of those limits and those limitations and so we've got to break past them and then all a sudden something that we had acquiesced to saying well that's just the way it is now it's no longer that way because our skill set and our knowledge base has increased so now we can make dramatic improvements whoa right isn't this awesome but as long as we remain within those limitations then we feel exhausted and tired and sore we don't sleep very well we don't eat very well our routines are off and and a lot of us go through life feeling physically yucky and we're experiencing a lot of strain in our family relationships and there's contention and we feel irritable and disconnected and chaotic our finances are stressed it's causing fight we feel like we have lack and limitation get into debt and fear our faith struggles because we have we lack faith in the future and maybe faith in God we're we're doubtful we feel this unrest and we feel inner turmoil instead of inner peace these are all these are all the the unintended consequences of of staying confined within our limitations and kind of stuck right and we lack Clarity in the future and uncertainty and we lack Vision it feels kind of dark and drimal and and we have all these negative beliefs and fears about money and about travel and about chasing dreams and wondering if things will ever work out and we then we live within the confines of our fears but we can break out of all of that and live this extraordinary life if we just turn it on and make it happen so I want to I want to share an acronym and you've probably heard me share it before years ago I was sitting there thinking and I was like you know what is it what is the what is the key to success in in every area of life like how how is it you know from I used to be a personal trainer and I love Fitness right and how is it in in Fitness you know in the gym or in the martial arts or in a triathlon or in finances or in business success or in family or whatever it is like what what is it like what's the common denominator what is is it that makes a difference man I can go on for days and days on this this topic because so many things keep coming into my mind but Albert gray wrote one of the most amazing articles um that I've ever read and I I mentor and coach from it every single year it's called the common denominator of success and in there he basically break he studies all these successful people and unsuccessful people and looking for the one thing that separates them basically comes down to the idea of like look successful people are willing to do the things that unsuccessful people are unwilling to do that's it that's the common do denominator of success and he says you know what successful people don't want to do it either but they do they form the habit of doing it right and we've had our children memorize this quote from him about habit that says every single qualification for success is acquired through habit men and women form habits and habits form Futures if you do not deliberately or intentionally form good habits then you automatically form bad ones he says you are the kind of person you are because you form the habit of being that kind of person and the only way to change is through Habit close quote right and so we've got to be willing to do what others are unwilling to do again back to where I started you have to be willing to be uncomfortable and pay the prices and turn off the TV turn off the Netflix cancel your Netflix membership right stop seeking entertainment and start seeking seeking growth and make this commitment to yourself that you're not going to go to bed at night until you've learned something that's improved you and you've worked on one of your skilles right your skills or abilities you've worked on your skilles that day so every single night you go to bed better than you were the next day because none of us not one of us has the right being the same person next year that we are this year we ought to be green and growing and like getting better every day and it's just just a tiny bit just a fraction of a percent better each day and all of a sudden that adds up and we're getting this massive difference so I want to share this acronym that I came up with years ago and I was sitting there thinking okay what is it and it was cave you know everyone goes out for their morning coffee and I was like we need we need cave every morning C AI your morning cave and it's just this daily thing that you do day in day out your whole life right and it's an acronym stands stands for consistent and vigorous Improvement cave consistent and vigorous Improvement and and here's why it really came to me when I was working with people in the gym or I'd go to the gym and I'd see people there that were super consistent right well actually let me let me switch they would go in occasionally and work out crazy hard but they weren't there consistent enough and so they didn't get the results they want they'd go in and I've done this before and you've done it you know like I I won't practice my violin for weeks and then jump on and try to practice for an hour and like okay but I'm not making progress you go to the gym and you work out crazy hard and the next day you're so sore you can't move for 3 days and you don't go back for another week and and you're just inconsistent you you want to do a blog or a YouTube channel or something and you you make a video and then you post another one two weeks later and then another one right and you're just inconsistent and all those things and you you get excited about parenting your marriage and you write love notes and and that wears off after a couple days and you stop doing it right because we're just not consistent in it and so number one aave you have to be consistent you have to be consistent um I actually talked to a uh very successful YouTube producer yesterday and he told me his strategy that he charges six figures for and the biggest piece was consistency you just have to do it day in and day out no exceptions you commit like your integrity is on the line and you follow through right and and of course there's so many stories of that but it just it just works you have to be consistent and vigorous now I met people who were consistent they're consistent at posting they're consistent at going to the gym I I would go to the gym regularly and I'd see the same people there again and again and again again but then I notic I'm like they're not getting any results like they're here every day and you know that they're they're present every day but like not really present and I realized it was vigorous they're missing the Vigor they're missing the intensity they're doing normal action and the most dangerous thing about normal action is you're you're taking action but you're not getting results and so you feel comfortable you're like I'm doing it and what you're doing is you're going through the motions you're checking off your little box you feel good you pat yourself on the back but you're not getting the results you need and want in your health and fitness and in your business and in your life and in your relationships because there's no Vigor there's no Drive there's no passion right there's no spark there like there's no enthusiasm and we got to bring it and so we have to be consistent and vigorous right we got to bring that stuff and show up when we when we're there like be all in and and many of us are missing that massive level of action where we seriously step it up but I found that and this is a studying personal development for over 24 years traveling around the world coaching people like if we are consistent and vigorous in our Improvement okay and that's important consistent and vigorous in our Improvement the the reason we're doing everything is to try to get better to get in the best shape of our life to have our relationships in the best they've ever been to get our business in the best Condition it's ever been we're always seeking growth and Improvement always if you settle off and think oh things are good here we'll just kind of Coast there's no coasting to the top and life has lived on an incline right so if you stop if you any if you sit back on your LS you rest a little bit thinking oh we're good let's just just maintain this soon as you think I can maintain this you start settling back right that's when you think hey my muscles are good I can stop using them Gonzo right so we have to always have the intention of improvement of betterment because there you can keep getting better until the day you leave this place right you got to keep going and keep growing whoa it's so good so now I want to take this to the next level right I want to introduce this idea and I just spent a lot of time writing last night just like wow just one of those mind explosion moments where you're like this is amazing and it's going to seem like a little bit of a shift here for a minute but you'll see what happens you'll come back to it it it's about being ethical and moral right and and stay with me on this we'll come back because most of you I would say or ethical people and moral people right and that means doing the right thing so to be ethical and moral means you do the right things and you don't do the wrong thing so you know you don't lie you don't steal you don't cheat and and and I wholeheartedly believe and I've experienced this around the world most people are good people and even even the quote bad ones they're just making poor decisions but even some of the roughest toughest humans on Earth that I've interacted with are still good people they're just making some poor decisions and so you know to be ethical and moral excludes being cruel and inhumane and here's where we tie back into our topic today I think being ethical and moral actually goes beyond that that's kind of like this base level it's like it's like you guys the Ten Commandments are the are the basic the basic they're like the bottom line it's like the minimum level it's funny people people look at things like that and they're like okay as long as I'm doing that I'm I'm just I'm amazing you're like whoa whoa It's like that's the base level that's like the lowest marking on the wall right it's the lowest level stuff like those are was just like hey look don't do those worse things but then we keep going up we're seeking refinement and growth and Improvement right consistent and vigorous Improvement we're always seeking the next level we want to keep refining and growing and improving never just stop oh I hit the basics I'm done ple please don't ever do that please don't ever ever have this mentality of well that's good enough I'm done with the basics that's good enough no like never let up just demand excellence and greatness of yourself because here's what happens people will Pat themselves on the back for not stealing or not lying and that's great right but what happens is when they do that they miss the next level we think well look I I don't I don't steal I don't cheat I don't Rob I don't beat anybody I'm a good guy so I'm good and they settle right there they settle and stop at that level and they totally miss the higher levels of life so you guys want to know know what the next level is here we go and now I'm tying back in now this is next level stuff right this is top-notch stuff and so stick with me here on this on this idea because it's it's higher level like whoa what I think it's actually unethical to be a mediocre person to be a mediocre worker an average spouse or parent you're like what what are you saying that that it's it's it's actually unethical and immoral just to be okay and I think so I think it is and here's why we actually have these spoken or written or implied commitments and I think you're actually being cruel we and myself included that we're being cruel we're lying we're cheating we're stealing when we are unhealthy for example now who am I being cruel to if I'm unhealthy who am I lying to and cheating and stealing from if I'm unhealthy well me of course right I'm I'm lying and cheating and stealing and being cruel to myself it's a it's a huge sign of disrespect to not take care of myself and be in the best shape of my life and what's interesting it goes beyond that right now this is next level stuff you guys it goes beyond that if I'm unhealthy I I'm cheating and and lying and and robbing and being cruel to people that I could influence or impact or help if I were in a better condition you with me here now none of this is intended to make anyone feel bad I'm just saying we got to level up here and I'm and I had this vision of like whoa like this is topnotch top top stuff like it's it's actually unethical for me to be unhealthy because I'm then not I'm cheating my kids I'm I'm stealing from my wife and my children and and other people I might impact because I'm limited now and I'm I I don't I don't have the energy I could have and the stamina and there's literally activities I cannot do because I'm unhealthy and so I'm it's unethical for me and immoral for me to to do that to my children to be undereducated or underdeveloped think about that if I remain undereducated and underdeveloped who am I who am I lying to myself of course who am I cheating and stealing and how am I being cruel and inhumane well think of the limitations consider this you guys what what things are you unable to do what potentialities do you have what what level of influence and impact are you now cheating and Ste stealing and lying and keeping back from others that if you were more developed and more educated if you spent more of your time ining yourself instead of entertaining yourself like you get what I'm saying like I I believe this I believe I believe for me personally I will be held accountable for people who I might have impacted if I failed to do that I really do if I have the opportunity and the potential to have a positive impact on someone and I don't do it because of my own laziness right and my own lack of growth and and drive and and impact like for me personally I'm not going to hold everyone to this standard but for me personally if I don't do that that is immoral and unethical for me and so I have to keep growing you're like oh man that sounds exhausting it sounds like a lot of pressure and stress yeah bring it on like what but I find it invigorating I think Improvement and growth is invigorating and some of us are like well it's too much pressure too much stress no that's good it's good to be uncomfortable that's good to keep growing now you guys I'm not saying we don't have a lot of fun I don't think anyone will ever accuse me of not having fun and enjoying life what I'm saying is let's have our primary focus to be growing and improving and impacting others right I think it's unethical and immoral if I'm lazy if I'm distracted right spending all my time scrolling on a screen or you know watching some TV series or whatever ever you know just gone I I think it's unethical and immoral if I'm apathetic or indifferent if I'm prejudiced if I'm small-minded and if I'm living below my potential and I have all these dreams that are unfulfilled dreams for myself like I'm cheating myself if I'm not dreaming big and I'm not vigorously and consistently pursuing my potential and I'm cheating others that I might have impacted I mean you guys this is huge I hope this idea is like res with you like it hit me like like it's cuz I can sit here and I Pat myself on the back say I'm a good guy you know I don't I don't steal or cheat or you know I'm not I'm not out beating anybody or robbing anybody you know or whatever I'm a good person I could sit back or I could say no no no no no like if I'm not pursuing my potential I'm actually it's I'm doing a disservice to myself to my wife to my children to my grandchildren and great grandchildren I mean this starts getting generational right and and the way I want to have an impact in the world here from from my coaching to our our coaching package the school of awesome sauce monthly coaching to you know our freedom income Mastermind from our own clients and our group coaching and personal coaching like I mean the our our blog posts and this podcast and everything else if I remain under my um potential right because of my own lack to me that's unethical that's immoral like I'm I'm literally robbing and stealing and cheating and lying and being cruel and inhumane and again you guys this is higher level stuff but let that sink in like if you sit around just wasting away your life like you're not only cheating yourself you're your kids and your grandkids and potentially hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands or for some of you even millions of people are missing out because you're not sharing your message and you're not delivering as you improve and grow some of you have a message you know you need to share you need to you need to raise your voice and sing the song that you were born to sing whoa right so we come back to this point I made earlier about we're all living and operating within the limits of our own personal development and those are self-imposed limits so my mindset my beliefs my attitudes my education my vision or lack of vision my skills or Skiles my habits the patterns right if we're not constantly growing then I'm cheating myself and I'm cheating those that are within my circle of influence or my potential circle of influence so like it or not my friends you and I have a non-negotiable commitment to take care of ourselves and then our family members and then anyone else that's within our circle of influence we have an obligation to make a difference whoa right noes is that French phrase that means our nobility obligates us so I mean the fact that you live in the time you do and you have the opportunities you do and you're even listening this podcast which means you have all kinds of opportunities and privileges that many people don't and you've been giving so given so many um open doors and and Privileges and opportunities so much affluence so much Freedom like we have this obligation you're nobility you are noble you're great you're awesome you were born with a song to sing a mission to share like something to contribute and it might be with a small group it might be with a massive group you might want to change somebody's world or you might change the actual world but no bless obl like your nobility and my nobility obligates us to be generous and kind and to make a difference in the world who I get fired up about this stuff I love it now again please please don't misunderstand me none of this is intended to make you feel bad right it's it's only to remind us of who we

are who we are like the poet said we come to Earth trailing clouds of Glory right to be human beings with the privilege and opportunity and I think responsibility to have a positive impact in the life of another human being and we have a high standard to live by to truly Elevate our lives so let's let's hold ourselves to that high level of moral and ethical standards Which is far above the societal minimal minimum level standards right this is this is the topnotch stuff this is this is the this is the top right you guys where we're going for to just become our absolute best selves to practice cave every day consistent and vigorous Improvement to you know apply the principle of the denominator of success to be willing to do the things that unsuccessful people don't want to do and most of us know what we need to do or should do we just need to discipline ourselves to do it and set up systems and patterns that make it easy to succeed but I really do I believe it you guys I believe we have a moral obligation nobless obl to make a difference in the world and we can totally do it and here's how it gets done every single day just absolutely refuse to go to bed at night before you have learned something that day that makes you better and youve practiced one of your skies whatever that is like you do something that improves you and I promise my friends I've done it in my own life and if I can do it anyone can do it but I've done it in my own life I've helped hundreds and thousands of people and I've observed and read about tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands of people who've done this if you just make consistent Improvement each day it almost seems miraculous that you know in a few months you're like whoa check out all these results like wow look what happens when I'm consistent and vigorous and taking action instead of like many of us we we miss a day or two and then a week and then we go a couple weeks and a couple months and some people a few years or even decades and they're like oh ah shoot I should have been working on myself I should have been working on my dreams so don't ever sit back don't ever just try to Coast you cannot Coast to the top right the only way you Coast is downhill and so we got to be green and growing and improving and excited and vigorous and alive and it makes you feel alive otherwise and let this sink in you guys for ambitious people like you for people who want to live a great life and you have dreams and you have goals to to not be doing something like is demoralizing and we feel like we're dying inside

right you know what I'm talking about if you gone through a time period like that where you weren't working on anything you didn't have any goals or Ambitions you start to die inside and then you get depressed and discouraged and disheartened and you start to feel hopeless and desperate I've been there but we want to feel alive every day and the key to feeling alive is to be green and growing for consistent and vigorous Improvement and seeking to make an impact to make a difference W I love this stuff okay you guys are awesome love you thanks for listening thanks for being a part of this thanks for being good people and being willing and driven to to pursue personal greatness and impact awesome is always an option reach

upward hey everybody thanks so much for listening to this episode I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply your life right away hey I'm I'm being totally sincere when I say I I live to help you live your extraordinary life so I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life and in fact you know this this podcast is brought to you by the school of awesome sauce monthly coaching program take advantage of that get in there if it's the best way to get a breakthrough to the next level so you can level up your health Health your spirituality your emotions your mind your relationships your finances and business every part of your life just get in there where you have a a coach and a mentor you have a supportive Community to make things happen so so jump in there take advantage of this try it out get in there with us and level up your life see you on the inside reach upward [Music]