#205 The Price of Mastery -- Is It Worth the Cost?

Rachel Denning (00:10.67)
Hey everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm coming to you today from the city of Vilnius, Lithuania. We have loved traveling through the Baltic States. Today we're going to continue answering some questions. Since we were cut short in the last episode, we were asked about certain types of activities and whether or not our children participate in them because of our unique

travel lifestyle. For example, ballet, piano, gymnastics, sports, and other activities that require mastering. In this episode, we discuss the pros and cons, the exchange rate of the choices we've made, and how that plays into the mastery of skills.

We philosophize about breadth of exposure versus depth of mastery. Is one approach better? If you study the lives of great masters in current times and throughout history, you often find a train wreck of broken relationships and mental and emotional disasters. That's often because their development has been lopsided and emphasizing the one thing that they're mastering instead of well -rounded development. Our focus has been, at least initially, on developing holistic mastery of well -being.

mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social, financial, and we expand on how and why we do this in this episode. We also discuss depth of mastery is available to achieve later in life, has a stronger foundation once you have the breadth of holistic development in place. If you would like to help your teen or young adult develop holistically, make sure to register them for our Habits for a Successful Life online class.

Because we recognize that the healthiest and happiest people on the planet are well -rounded in their development, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social, financial, we wanted to ensure that our teens would learn how to develop in each of those areas. We couldn't find classes that taught them how to do that, so we created our own based off of the decades of research into peak performance and human development. That is what the Habits for a Successful Life class is all about, and teens love it. It becomes one of their favorite classes ever.

Rachel Denning (02:11.31)
and it helps them to develop better habits and an understanding of themselves, human psychology, and the ingredients for creating a happy life. Click the link in the show notes to learn more and to read the reviews of students and parents.

If you enjoy this episode or any of our episodes, would you please do us a favor and leave us a review on Apple podcasts or at our website, podcast .extraordinaryfamilylife .com. When you leave us a rating and a review, it helps to make this world a better place by getting this podcast into the ears of more parents. Parents are the molders and shapers of the future generations. We all need all the help we can get to be the best people and the best parents we can.

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Rachel Denning (03:29.998)
Hey everybody, welcome to the Extraordinary Family Life podcast. We are your host, Greg or Rachel Denning. We are sitting in a beautiful apartment overlooking the old town of Vilnius, Lithuania. And if you've never been here, which is probably the case, I didn't even know this city existed because I'd never looked closely at a map of Vilnius or Lithuania. And only every once in a while had it ever crossed my mind like.

Maybe one day we'll travel through there, but we loved traveling over here. It's been awesome. And this is a really cool city. Lots of cool things. And in 12 days, Vilnius will be celebrating its 700th birthday or anniversary. 700 years. The city's been so, so cool. So, so cool. So we're having a great time, but today we're going to answer some more awesome questions.

And like we promised last time, we're going to dive into overcoming geographic limitations. And I know that sounds like so technical. You're like, that's boring, but I promise it's going to be awesome. Like this, this whole philosophical idea is really, it's really pretty cool. So what it came about because we were answering this question last time, but then realized.

that we were speaking into the air. About 40 minutes later, we realized, oh, the recording stopped. The recording had stopped. And so this answer was not recorded. But we had some interesting insights that we thought they were great. So we wanted to share them this time.

as we finish continuing to answer questions. We get lots of questions often about lots of different things. Keep them coming, you guys. We love them. We receive some specific questions about travel and specifically the logistics of travel. And we answered some of those questions in the last episode. And now we're going to continue answering these questions in this episode and discuss what you just mentioned.

Rachel Denning (05:47.021)
So let's just get into it. Go. Why don't you read the question? Yeah. So listen to episode number 199. I'd love to hear a podcast on the logistics of your move. For example, all of Greg's cool other books. Did you sell them? Box them for when or if you come back to the States? Ship them to Portugal?

That's the first part of the question. So. I can't remember. Did we answer that in the last one? We kind of talked about it last time. I think we'll just cover. Let's recap. So, man, I'm never getting rid of my books. I'm gathering more and more books. I want to have a personal library in our state of like 10 ,000 books. And, you know, when we thin out books, we get rid of kind of old, tattered, run, you know, kind of not good quality condition. But, and we're always seeking to buy nice, high quality things. We're putting just kind of as a wealth strategy, wealthy people will purchase.

nice high quality things to store their wealth and so that's you know they do it in art they do it in tools they do it in all kinds of things jewelry like whatever you want right one of ours is is books we love books so our books are in a storage facility and we will ship them over to our place once we get it set up but in Portugal because if you're new we're moving to Portugal

We're traveling in the meantime, but we are moving there and we're planning to make that a permanent move. And so we're planning to take, and we did talk about this last time, planning to take our nice things to Portugal and move them there. Right now we're traveling, you guys. We only have a few books that we brought for the habits class. I think we talked about this last time. We brought a few hard actual paper books for the Habits for a Successful Life class that I'm leading starts tomorrow.

and the mentor accountability program for youth starts today. There's still some openings in both of those, you guys, so if you want to get your older kids in there. But we have been doing loads of audiobooks and e -books, and our kids have been just pounding books on this trip. It's so cool that even while we're out traveling, exploring, and having experiential learning, which we're gonna get back into in a minute here, we're also doing massive amounts of reading in spite of not having our beloved books with us.

Rachel Denning (07:59.213)
Yes, and just for a frame of reference, if you're interested, in the last podcast we did go into a lot more detail about emotional attachment to things and getting rid of things versus keeping things. So we really expand on that in that episode and I think it's worth listening to.

Okay, next part of the question. What about certain activities that require an extended time to master or participate in? For example, ballet, acting, or other sports. Do you just not do those? Or do you find what you can wherever you are? Wherever you live. And this was the question that we had started expounding on that will definitely connect to this topic that you've alluded to. And we started by simply explaining that.

There are definitely...

We recognize that there is an exchange rate with whatever you do, there is an exchange rate. And one of the exchange rates for a life that includes more travel is that you don't always have the opportunity to immerse yourself in mastering certain skills, especially, I guess, specifically for children. Or if the thing is location dependent. So if you want to be part of this renowned choir, or this

phenomenal athletic department or a certain grade a school or a theater if you're if you're more mobile you're moving around then you can't and that is a cost and we've weighed that out there is a cost there and but even on the other side if you do stay and you pursue that that's fantastic it's amazing and we're not trying to make one way better than the other we're not trying to say one is bad but there is a cost and I think

Rachel Denning (09:50.893)
predominantly as a general rule, the cost of staying in one place to develop those things is a lack of exposure to so many other things. And so it's almost a contrast here and you have to decide it's breadth versus depth. And I don't know, we're going to explore that idea, but so yeah, so we knew early on, we talked about this early on because we had grown up, you know, pretty kind of traditionally, but.

I had played on sports teams and participated in all those things and I wanted my kids to do that and that was it was kind of sad for me. I'm like, oh man, my kids won't be able to be on like football teams or baseball teams or things like that because we're all traveling and we knew that was a cost and we've talked through that with them over the years. Like, you know, there's an exchange rate here and when we've stayed longer like ...

our last place, Aliyah was able to be on a soccer team and a volleyball team and they got into like longer things. We've done some ballet, we've done some dance and gymnastics and theater. We've done language studies, we've done instrument lessons. So the answer to the question is like, yeah, we definitely take advantage of whatever's available wherever we are. And if we're there for longer term, we can get into some of those other things. But our core philosophy, I think, is to focus on the breadth of

Exposure. First and foremost, and that's kind of the topic we want to dive into if you're ready for that. Yeah. I guess I'm just wanting to put this in context that...

Essentially, they have been able to participate in those things, but not perhaps to what he's referring to here, not to a level of mastery per se. And at first glance, we might think, oh, that's a bad thing because my child or my teen hasn't been able to master something. Piano, for example, because you can't travel with a piano. And that honestly, it sincerely, it pains me. Like I would love for them.

Rachel Denning (12:00.045)
to have that degree of skill and ability in the piano. But when I hold it up against what they're learning and who they're becoming and the exposure and the experience in so many other areas, at least for us and our family, this isn't for everybody maybe, but at least for us and our family,

that is more valuable than that one specific skill. And, and well, here's why this kind of leads into what we want to go to. You can keep going, but like, I think if you focus on going wide first breadth first to the development of the whole being, and then, you know, you have, you still have years and years and years of life to go into the depth.

Then you can be more of a whole developed being and then pursue death later where we've seen countless times and you can read about this in every biography and autobiography and look at the great lives. If you go for depth first, the individual often ends up in the family ends up being very, very lopsided with significant and important areas underdeveloped. And honestly, in many cases,

their lives, if you look at the lives of some of the best performers in the world across whatever genre is the masters, their lives are a train wreck. Very often. They're an absolute mess. Like a Tiger Woods is a classic example. Well, and I watched a, recently watched a movie.

autobiographical of Aretha Franklin and so on. I mean she from a young age was a great singer. Her father specifically emphasized the development of that to the neglect of other things. In fact she ended up pregnant. She was abused and ended up pregnant probably like when she was very young, maybe 13. Wow. And then you know just had a

Rachel Denning (14:16.941)
a very messy life, specifically with relationships and a relationship with herself. And it's kind of this idea that when you focus on the mastery of one thing over everything else, you become lopsided. It is this lopsided development. And so back to this idea of the approach we've taken while, yes, we would love for our children to be masters of one thing.

We're really focusing on helping them to have more holistic mastery of lots of different things. At least initially. Especially initially. After the exposure to so much that's available, just exposing ourselves and our children to all that's available in the world, then they can choose and make a better, wiser, clearer choice and choose to go deep. Sorry. A better, wiser choice of what they would actually like to master, what they would choose to master.

This is usually the case. I don't know where this is not the case unless, you know, except in extreme circumstances where perhaps a lot of wealth is involved. Generally, what your child chooses or is chosen for to master...

is simply something that is available in their geographic region. Ah, here it is. Now we're going to start philosophizing here on the limitations of geographic restriction. Well, because what happens is you, for whatever reason, you live in an area and you want your child to start getting involved in something because that's good for their...

developing hard work and for developing responsibility and follow through and accountable, you know, all these positive traits that we want our kids to develop. We think this is how it's done. And that's true. Or even extracurricular activities or talents or hobbies, whatever. This is so profound to me. It just striking me so forcefully. It's limited by what's available, where you are and how far you're willing to drive. Yeah, it's generally because you know, and I've done this multiple times when we lived in Georgia, I looked at what?

Rachel Denning (16:26.831)
was available within an hour or less of driving time. And those are the activities my children can participate. Then of course other factors come in, cost, time, schedule, you know, but ultimately you end up deciding this is what my child's going to do because it's close enough, it fits in our budget, it fits in our schedule, that's what they're going to master. Well, we've never taken that approach. Or even on the other side you say, okay child,

here are three, four, five things, choose from one of these things. These are the teachers, these are the studios, these are the classes, the courses, this is what's available in our area, go ahead and choose from there. Which still just blows my mind. We end up choosing from a small list that ultimately has been determined by geographic restrictions. And if you've lived in an area the bulk of your life,

you might just by default kind of assume, well, that's what it's like. And because we've been able to move around so much, we realized, no, that's not at all what it's like. You go to some areas and there's like the things that were available in other areas just are non -existent. It's just not there. Or you go to a different area and there's way more choices, more variety or more options. There's a whole bunch of one thing. And so you can pick the best studio or the certain focus, but it has been just.

Fascinating and the standards the quality you'll go to some areas and they'll be you know five or ten whatever teams or Studios or theaters whatever and the quality is just mediocre at best and you go to other areas and it's just absolute excellence It's beautiful. And so the quality

of training and teaching is also determined by geographic restriction. Yes, absolutely. And so while our unique travel lifestyle has perhaps limited the development of one area of focus, it's on the other hand, the...

Rachel Denning (18:34.925)
benefit of it is it's provided them an exposure to lots of different areas of focus. It's exposed them to more opportunities, more options of things that are actually available. And while they don't get to fully delve into that 100%, they get to dabble in a lot of different things. And as a result, they get to kind of pick what they prefer and what they like even more because...

part of our plan ultimately is as they dabble in lots of different things and sample lots of different things, then they get to choose like, well, this is what I really like. I'd really like to focus on that. And then we help them find the right resources, perhaps even the right location, like we go there. Exactly. To help them.

pursue that even more. And as they come across the varieties and the levels of quality and just the feel, the approach, there's so many different approaches to the same thing. And as they're exposed to all these different levels and meeting people around the world and seeing how it's done, it's just, it is expanding their minds to possibilities. So even if somebody wanted to pursue art, think about all the different ways to participate in art.

or to learn art around the world, or music, or even athletics or sports. There are sports available over here in Europe that are not available in the States. Like cricket. Isn't that crazy? Or handball is huge here. Right? Or different things, right? Or you might come across...

certain, you know, again, a certain teacher or coach or mentor that you say, wow, like, I love that the way they do that. And so you can come back later and pursue that. And again, our whole focus has always been on a holistic approach, working on the whole being. We want ourselves and our children to be very well rounded.

Rachel Denning (20:33.293)
and filled out so there's not one or more areas that are just grossly underdeveloped. We're talking about mental, emotional, spiritual, social.

financial, all of that, right? It's the whole being. And I don't want it also to come across like this only happens to people who are pursuing mastering one thing. It also happens if you pursue mastery in nothing. It also happens if you just sit around doing nothing with your life and going nowhere. I mean, it's just, it's really, really easy to be underdeveloped. That is the default setting of life. You just come underdeveloped. And so you have to pursue development.

And I want to praise and applaud those who are chasing mastery in something, especially if it's one thing and they just love it or are obsessed with it. That's fantastic. It's amazing. That's why we have so much beauty and art and wonder and sculpture and architecture and so many great things in life is because of that. We are also suggesting that it is accompanied by development in...

all areas. And that takes very strategic effort. And Lisa, my observation, the way I see it is if you pursue breadth of experience first and fill out the scaffolding and the wholeness and then come back later and pursue depth and mastery from that.

well -rounded place, it makes for a more grounded, centered, stable being versus getting kind of lost.

Rachel Denning (22:15.693)
and missing some of the developmental pieces and aspects of life and of growing into a whole being because your entire reality is often leaning far over into one thing. Right. And we've seen this a lot with people we've worked with and met around the world that they will themselves or their children get so into developing that one thing that it's

It's almost like the rest of the family and the rest of their life, their self gets neglected. It's dominated by that thing. And it becomes a real negative, I think. It actually becomes something that we, and this goes back to tying into the greats, you know, the masters, like something that is viewed as a gift or a blessing, I think actually becomes a curse because it...

can, and we've seen it, end up destroying lives. And so, I guess... Or at least limiting other aspects of a life. Well, and in the extreme cases, destroying lives. And so, I guess, ultimately, that has been our approach is while we've recognized that, you know, that's a thing, you could devote your entire life to helping your child becoming an Olympic athlete or concert pianist or, you know, whatever, fill in the blank.

I personally don't think that that's the healthiest approach. I don't think that's the healthiest for the child and I don't think it's the healthiest for the family. And so we've taken a more balanced approach that includes holistic growth and development for the family as well as for each of the individuals. Now that being said, you know, I'm not...

trying to brag, but I do feel that our children are fairly well developed in different areas. Like, more than one child plays the piano and sings and plays the guitar and martial arts and silks and, you know, gymnastics and parkour. Like, they have a lot. And I'm not just saying this from my own perspective. Like, I've had people who've met in person or even on Instagram, like, wow, your kids are so well developed. Like, how did you learn to do this? How did they learn to do all these things?

Rachel Denning (24:28.687)
while you've been traveling. And the way that that's happened is for one, we've been very intentional about it. Meaning... Yeah, because it doesn't just happen automatically because we're traveling. Like if you go out and travel, your kids will develop all these skills and get all these perspectives and mightily, just wow. It's never the default, ever. So whether you stay in one place, staying in one place doesn't automatically make you or your family stable. And traveling doesn't automatically make you like... Stable or developed. Exposed.

to variety. You can miss it all. It's all about strategy. And so it was kind of alluded to in the comment, like, yeah, wherever we go, we look for what's there and we participate in it. They've taken pottery classes in Morocco and martial arts classes in Morocco and in Germany and ...

And the variety of those experiences, okay, let's take martial arts for example. We've taken martial arts classes on at least three continents.

and in multiple countries and it is not the same. It is so not the same. Even if we say we go and we do Taekwondo and we do it in several different, and it doesn't have to be even countries, but you just do it in different locations. It's a different thing. And I think the country is significant because there are some kind of standards of how things are done in the United States. And then you go to a different country where those standards are not acknowledged or, you know,

conditioned. You're like, whoa, like this experience is so vastly different. And that exposure has been critical in the development of that skill set. Our kids have been really, really cool. So in an ideal scenario where we're striving our best to raise our children and develop ourselves, we want to strive to remove...

Rachel Denning (26:27.021)
geographic restrictions and limitations, just like we're trying to remove all other kinds of limitations, even financial restrictions. Like if you're limited financially, you're living in scarcity, even a mindset or poverty, you're broke. That vastly limits what you can do and learn and become.

fixed mindset limits what you can do and become and experience. So there's so many limitations and we're trying to remove those limitations so that we can become the very best version of ourselves and limit absolutely extraordinary life in this one great shot we get. So again, I don't know, it was just cool to recognize that...

Geographic restrictions is another one we need to face and deliberately work on and realize you might not want to stay where you are. Well, I want to use this analogy before because, again, because I think I mentioned it before and it wasn't recorded because we were not recording. But it's this idea that.

we call it the mango principle because it has to do with me personally and experience I had which was that when I was in my 20s and I had four children I finally discovered that my favorite fruit was a mango when before that I didn't know because I had never been exposed to a real fresh ripe mango but

This time, you know, when I was in my 20s with four children, which some people was like, wow, that's a lot of children for being in your 20s, which is true. But we moved to Costa Rica and we're exposed to all these other kinds of fruits that I didn't even know about. I think it's the same for you. We could call it the mango stain principle because mango stain is your favorite fruit, but we never knew that until we had a mango stain in Costa Rica.

Rachel Denning (28:22.253)
And so it's this idea that you don't know what your favorite is. And your children, this is why for me... Almost to the point where you can't know. You can't know, right. And this is why for me with parents, like I know it's out of the best intentions that we're like, child, you're six and you're gonna take ballet and you're gonna master it.

right? And you're going to take it for the next 10 years or whatever, you know? And it's with good intentions that we want to do that because we want our children to develop discipline and all these other qualities. But how can that child or how can you decide for that child that ballet is the thing that they should take? Or, you know, even if they pick it themselves at six, how can they know that that's the thing they want to spend their life mastering when they haven't been exposed?

to what it is out there. What if they pick ballet because it's what it was geographically available and within the budget and now they have to commit to mastering ballet when maybe they really want to do something else, right? That's just not even an option for them because...

they haven't been exposed to that thing. So essentially, I mean, as much as we've wanted or would have liked our children to become, you know, concert pianist or something like that, ultimately... That option is still on the table. Well, okay. Because they still can pursue mastery. Right. But I'm saying at a young age or whatever, you know, I mean, I'm not going to lie. There's been times where I've seen...

friends or family members or different people whose child has been taking lessons consistently for time and then perform at some concert and you're like, wow. I want that for my kids. And yet I've never been willing to make the sacrifice that we would have had to make in order to acquire that or achieve that. And the reason being is for one,

Rachel Denning (30:19.405)
I'm not willing to pick that for my kid. And two, I'm not willing, and neither have they been, speaking of, you know, we've talked about it with them, been willing to give up.

the experiences and the exposure that come through travel in order to stay in one place to achieve that thing. Now we've worked on it as much as we can, like going back to this being intentional about it, you know, we've traveled, we drove around Europe for four months with a trailer and an electronic piano keyboard so that my kids and I could practice the piano. We've traveled with musical instruments, ukuleles, our son is traveling with a travel -sized guitar right now. We've, like,

Like we've done things to make it as available as possible for us to develop those skills, including musical ones.

But we've known, and you know, sports is another good one. Our kids have asked before, oh, can I join a rugby team or a soccer team or whatever? And for the most part, that hasn't usually worked out. And we've explained to them, well, yeah, we could, but we would need to stay here for the next nine months to a year so you could get on the team. Plus, you know, they think, oh, I want to be on the team. I can get on any time. We're like, no, you've got to be there at the right time, the season. There's like a whole thing to this, you know? And then they've always been like, eh, nah, I'd rather go, too.

where you know the next place we're going to. Yeah it's beautiful and another thing to remember in this consideration is that whatever our children we and our children choose will color their life experience. You and I

Rachel Denning (32:01.069)
meaning you listener and I, all of us, we know people who they got into something and that literally shaped their life experience. And their identity. And their identity. Yeah. So their whole life was kind of rotating around the central orbit was that thing, whether it's music or sports or whatever, whatever it was they chose. And so then they get around people who do that thing and then they shape the

their identity around that thing. And then they behave like the people who are in that thing. And then like, it's easy for us as human beings to get so wrapped up in that little world that we think we get caught in that reality thinking it is the reality. And it's so fascinating. And adults still do this. Wherever you're working, like whatever your work is, or wherever you happen to be looking for significance, like whatever.

whatever's happening in that little world seems so important like life or death. Like this is the only thing that matters. What's really interesting when you can zoom way out of that, it's like, oh man, it only actually matters in that tiny little circle. But that little circle seemed so big, so significant, so important. You're like, well, it actually only matters there. And all these little things and all this little jostling and all the level, all the things we're doing to try to get significance or achieve.

to rise, it only matters in that thing. And so what we choose is significant. I mean, how many people got into something and they didn't really like it that much. They're there because maybe their parents liked it or their friends liked it or at first they liked it or often is the case like they got in, they became familiar with it and they want to try something else but it felt uncomfortable or awkward. So they just kind of stuck with it. I mean, how many times do we miss out on exposure and wonder and so many other beautiful things just because...

we got into that or geographic restrictions. I would have loved to have done this but we lived right here. Well and I think this brings up another good point because one of the things and one of the reasons we've approached it the way we have is because we actually want our children to be really good at trying new things and to be able to overcome those discomforts and inhibitions that often prevent you from...

Rachel Denning (34:28.621)
taking on new challenges or new opportunities. And when you get into the one thing and you're good at that thing, like I'm good at ballet, well, you're less likely to try other things because it feels uncomfortable and it feels frightening and terrifying. And while it's not that our kids or ourselves are still 100 % immune to that, I don't think you ever are, but you've gained more of that muscle, right, quote unquote, to be able to

do that or try that. And so they are, our kids love trying new things, you know? They're like, oh, I've never done that before. Let's try it. I've never, I've never, whatever it is, like they've, I mean, they've already tried a lot of things, riding motorcycles or surfing or kite boarding or all these different activities, but that makes them even more willing to try the ones they haven't tried yet. And I, I like,

that they have that ability. And if we had to exchange mastery in one thing in order for them to have that, well, to me, that's worth it.

Yeah, and I guess it's an invitation for all of us to step back and say, Rutz, what's your life philosophy going to be? What's your approach? I think all of us would agree that the more well -rounded is the hope, is the approach. I'm not sure anyone would purposely choose to be lopsided or narrow in development. And so we all want to find, and it's not just one way, there's many ways to become well -rounded and well -developed. And I think that's the

That's the invitation, that's the conversation we're having. It's like, what can we do to pursue that well -rounded development in all areas and what's most important? And I'm with you, and that's why we are very deliberate and intentional in the way we do life. If there has to be some give and take in things, we would rather have the very well -rounded development.

Rachel Denning (36:27.149)
in a child at the sacrifice of some of the mastery. And again, I think on a timeline for life, mastery is still totally available. And you might argue that like, whole development, holistic development is still available, which is true.

But in those developmental years, like you don't get those back. And you might argue the same on the other side for mastery. Like, okay, if you're a percent master, you don't get those years back. And so you have to measure both sides of that argument. And we just lean on the whole being as an individual, just being happy, genuinely, truly happy and whole and healthy relationships and a wholesome view of life and just in a really good place.

I'm not going to disagree that in order to become a true master at something, it does require some off -citedness. I mean, Mozart started playing and practicing when he was four. You don't become a Mozart unless you have something like that. But for us, for our viewpoint, for our family anyways,

I don't know that it's necessarily worth it. Does that make sense? I mean, in some ways, I've thought through that. I don't know if being a Tiger Woods, same with Tiger Woods, like his dad started training him to play golf at four, but they have a horrible relationship. And like there's all of this negativity and which then has then contributed to his other life problems and relationship problems. I don't know that that's worth it. I would not want my child to be a Tiger Woods to have those types of relationships.

relationships with him or for him to have the problems that he does. It's not worth it to me. And so I... Well, even Tim Grover was Michael Jordan's coach and he wrote two books. And the books are excellent, but they illustrate in there it was a win at all costs. They were willing to, literally willing to sacrifice everything else to be the best.

Rachel Denning (38:37.229)
And I think that's an illustration. It's on an extreme side, but it's an illustration of what we're talking about here. So, okay, you become phenomenally wealthy. You become one of the best in the world. Is it worth sacrificing those other fundamental areas of life? And for us, it's an absolute no. Now, I guess we're not saying that it's one or the other either. I think we can become absolute masters and be well -developed. It's just unbelievably rare. And maybe a master is not the right word.

word but there is another level of proficiency that you can gain that doesn't have to be the best of the best or the best in the world. We're still developing that talent and having those abilities is still enjoyable and wonderful. I've often thought about this because for some reason I do have this strange desire or dream for my children to be you know like virtuoso players of musical classical music or something like that's one of my weird fantasies but I've

as my children have developed piano playing skills.

and they will play music in the house, I've often thought like the real reason I enjoy it or love having them play the piano is because of just the music being played and how it sounds and how it feels to just have music being played in the house. And they don't have to be the best of the best perfection performing Carnegie Hall in order for me to enjoy that. Right? Does that make sense? Like I can enjoy it fully every single day when they're practicing.

and they don't have to be perfect at it. And that's kind of the point often of developing a talent or skill. It's there so that you just enjoy developing it and using it and you don't have to be perfect at it. In fact, that's part of the journey, but in the process of learning, it's still enjoyable and beneficial to you and those around you. And so that's been my take on it, is if they can develop these skills and talents.

Rachel Denning (40:38.509)
It's for the, really the journey of doing it that makes it valuable. And I think that would be true for...

99 % of people right because it's only the 1 % that are the one trip master So those of you who listening who have that drive to be the 1 %? Fantastic go get it like if you really genuinely want to be the top 1 % in the world go for it the warning here that we want to share and you've seen this you know this already we've seen in all the examples is Don't do it in a in a lopsided

where you're grossly underdeveloped in other critically important aspects and elements of life because the suffering that accompanies that is, oh, it's not worth... There's even part of me that says, is that even possible? Have those people only become the best in the world because they sacrificed everything else? And despite all the hardship and pain that it brought,

Well, perhaps because of all the hardship and pain, that is how they became the best. That's an interesting question to query because who knows, maybe that's the price to be paid. That's right. But I guess the warning then in that case is you need to be sure you're willing to pay that price. Are you willing to be alone and miserable in order to be Beethoven or Mozart or Tiger Woods or Aretha Franklin?

idealist. I just think there's a way. But it's so unbelievably rare. I told you guys this and I mentioned this before somewhere else. I've been studying the greats for 25 years. I've been studying the greats. I wanted to know the secrets, the methods, the strategies, the tools, the tactics for true greatness. And what I found again and again and again is there was so much greatness and it was rarely accompanied with goodness.

Rachel Denning (42:43.469)
What is going on here? And so then I created a file, this was probably 12, 15 years ago called Good and Great. And I've been on this quest, this search ever since, to find people who were truly great at what they did and also extremely good as a being. Holistic. They were healthy, whole, just wonderful people. And it is a very, very short list. Right. I guess that's, you kind of proved my point.

So then you're like, you're in the top like 0 .01 % of humanity because you're world class and you're just happy, healthy, good habits, good person, comfortable in your own skin and your whole life is well developed. Right. Okay, love you guys. You're awesome. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here. There was more questions.

But we have, I gotta start my mentoring accountability class right now. So, love you guys, thanks for listening, thanks for being here, thanks for being awesome. Look, examine your whole life and look where you can remove unnecessary restrictions. Love you guys, reach out.