#28 The Number 1 Reason So Many Good People Are Failing to Succeed in Life!

hey guys this is Greg Denning and you are in the school of awesome sauce where I share with you Amazing Stories and strategies to help you live an extraordinary

[Music] life hey guys I'm so excited about life right now and things are are just going so well and it's because we got things going man we got things to look forward to and things to do and challenges in front of us you guys I've told you about that many times that when you have a challenge and when you have something to look forward to it just gives you life and excitement and we're training for some some Big Adventures that are coming and it's so exciting um of course I've told you we have Mongolia we're leading a trip to Mongolia um we're we're currently planning a trip a couple's trip to Japan we also doing a family like Wilderness adventure camp in California um and you guys you can always check out the trips you may want to bring your family or send your Youth and and come on trips with us because they're they're life-changing they're seriously transformational and awesome and you can always find our trips at World School academy.com um so excited about that but we're climbing this mountain I've been telling you about and so uh yesterday morning I get up with my boys and I'm like you know we we know we need we need to do some training and hit some mountains and get some serious elevation in some leg burn and some lung burn to get ready um because this this Mountain's going to be grueling and but I've been putting it off cuz it's just been raining and snowing and raining and snowing and so kind of really with without even thinking about I was like oh we'll wait till the weather's better wait till the weather's better and I woke up yesterday and snowed again so I knew the mountains were covered and then so we went around our morning routine we just going along with our day and then I was like wait what am I doing what in the world am I thinking this isn't this isn't Greg Denning style what is going on here so I just yelled down the hallway I'm like boys get ready we're going hiking and uh they' they're used to that kind of stuff and training condition for it so and and mentally ready so they're like sweet so they put on their boots and we took off grabbed a couple little water balls as all and we headed over there and it was cold and snowy and we just hit it and I think we did we did about 3,000 ft elevation gain in 2 hours and pretty steep pretty steep path and just just busted it up there and snow got deeper and deeper and colder and colder and then we were up in the clouds and the fog and and ended up just having this awesome awesome adventure together with the two of us it was so fun uh my boys are 15 and 13 right now and they're tough boys and we got up there at the top there was this sweet steep Ridge and they're like can we do our back flips off them like sure so they they both busted back flips off the side of the mountain in a steep snow bank and oh man it was so fun and and and you know my legs and their legs are just screaming uh all day yesterday and and this morning they're sore but so be it right that's what it's it's good man and and in our family we have this motto like feel the pain love the pain and feel the burn and love the burn and and make it happen and I just went and hit the gym again even though I'm tired and didn't feel like gone but it's it's doing hard things I would say has been one of the greatest blessings in my life um and I wanted to share a couple couple more stories that how that kind of came about you know I ended up you know part of my story and that was I ended up having to do some pretty tough things there but I started choosing adventures and I think I think I I became I got a little bit crazy where I'm just like you know what I I was taking risks because I felt like I had nothing to lose and so I became kind of an adrenaline junkie and started to teach myself how to do backflips and tricks and then just started doing some more Adventures got into mountain biking and um hiking and then started cliff jumping and did some crazy big jumps and then then started meeting people and really getting into the adventure piece and man that's when that thing things got awesome at that point um there's this place in zans National Park it's actually outside of zans but it ends up in Zion and this is in southern Utah this one of the most gorgeous national parks in the world and there's this place in between it so there's cab Canyon and then there's zans and there's this little place in between it called cab Creek and as far as I remember they only give out like two permits a year and it's it's it's pretty intense and luckily my roommates were hardcore adventurers and and Mountaineers and and so they invited me to go along and we went and got permits and we had to put on all of our we had to get wet suits we rented wet suits and boots and beanies and gloves and everything and then full packs we had to pack everything and it's really it's a two-day trip but we were going to try to knock it out just going straight through so we pack up everything we we get in the car at 4:00 a.m. to get over there and get started in it and as I remember we did about 15 repels and most of the repels were you're over waterfalls and repelling into pools and you're out of the sun cuz it's in this deep Canyon deep Slot Canyon so you're in the shade in ice cold water for hours and hours and hours and it was amazing it was so epic and so hard at one point my my feet we were going on this really Mossy waterfall and my feet slipped up slipped up because I had like a big heavy pack on and so I literally was just repelling head first into this Pond this pool the next pool and and occasionally we'd have to repel into the water stay stay in the harness in the in the Rope stay roped up swim across and then go over the next Falls um and then the last the last repel is a huge huge drop maybe 150 plus feet over this gorgeous waterfall and then you get in there you guys and it was mindblowing awesome we saw like 300t waterfall and and and tadpoles and and frogs like you couldn't believe and fresh trout everywhere like you could just reach in and grab them and we we saw wonders and be in there that very few people on this Earth will ever see and it it was just stunning and so fun and so hard and it was incredibly challenging and we got back to our car at 1:00 a.m. and so we went from 4:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. just steady and to get out of the canyon we had to just climb out climb out this steep steep climb long hike and uh it it was it was a task and and but but worth every bit of it right it was and it was Adventures like that especially because they were fun and you know I I felt the excitement of the adventure now some of you are like that doesn't sound fun at all it just sounds like torture and suffering and and to be honest a lot of mountaineering is that way like it's just a lot of hurt um but it's the same when I did triathlons you know it's it was a lot of hurt and while I was doing the Race I'd be I'd be like why do I do these things this is horrible like this feels horrendous like I don't want to feel like this and then I'd finish and be like okay when's the next one I'm excited and it was the challenge of doing something incredibly difficult and if you if you enjoy it or you enjoy part of it that makes it easier to do hard things but little did I realize that just having that kind of Adventure bug in me and and you know a little of adrenaline seeker and and getting out and doing challenging things how much of a blessing and a benefit that would bring into my life another time uh I was with another roommate in college and he was into mountain biking like crazy and so we' I started biking more and more and more and more and we started doing these crazy downhills and and then he was like let's do the loop and one morning we got up and we we did a 41m loop but we rode from our apartment all the way down up the canyon which was a beast like all the way like up the canyon it was it was insane and then we rode along the trail called The wasat Crest which rides along the the top of the wasach mountains it's it's one of my favorite rides and then all the way out what's called mil Creek Canyon and we ended up getting some some flat tires I ended up getting like three flat tires so we stopping and I replaced the tube got another one and then I was pumping it up and running and pumping up and riding and pumping up and R and just R until it' go flat again and we ended up getting out like in the dark it was like totally dark maybe 10 or 11 at night and we're like dodging deer in the canyon bombing out of this Canyon in the dark and you know this is grueling grueling but fun and exciting bike ride and and in doing these hard things it started to develop character and and I found that in my own experience that if you de velop character and strength and stamina and endurance in one area of your life it really starts to carry over to other areas as well and so if you do it physically it can carry over mentally and emotionally socially or if you do it socially or mentally or spiritually then it can carry over physically but you have to choose it and it starts it makes you tough and and we get it in our heads that I can you just start to believe I can do hard things which is one of I think one of the most powerful and important beliefs we can have in our lives but here's the greatest Challenge and I'm seeing it again and again and again and I I was working I work with people every day and even this week I got messages again I got a few emails and other messages literally from around the world and I'm seeing like one of the greatest problems in our day is that we live in a very affluent time and our lives are really easy and comfortable and in an effort you know to live quote the good life we're not doing hard things and and life for most of us life is really easy now we might think it's hard um can I be totally honest with you here for a minute and and this may not be a popular idea but sometimes life isn't hard we're just weak can I can I share that I know some like those are fighting words but like hear me out here like if if if I protect myself and I shelter myself and I make my life super comfortable and easy and then something comes along it seems really hard to me and maybe it is hard for me at that moment but in perspective it's not really that hard it's just I've become weak and soft like like okay when working out when I let myself get out of shape and I go back to the gym and it hurts like crazy when running you know running a mile or two is really hard it's not because running a mile or two is really hard it's because I'm out of shape does that make sense and it's not because lifting 50 lbs or 100 lounds is is really all that hard it's because I haven't been training I have let myself atrophy and so the thing seems hard to me and and we've created this problem where our lives are so easy that little things seem crazy hard and they are hard because we've gotten weak and so the the messages and the emails and the people I'm talking to again and again again got another one this week like these these young adults especially it's it's hitting them so hard but but I work with adults all week long too and and these young adults they're going out to college they're going out on missions they're going out into the workforce they're just going into adult adult life and they can't handle it they literally Come Running back home to Mama and Papa cuz they can't handle it and and then then and then that hurts them cuz then in their mind like I couldn't handle it I couldn't hack it and and they're struggling so much mentally and emotionally physically it takes this toll now they feel like failures and now they reaffirm in their mind I can't do hard things it was too hard for me and so then they come home and and parents with with the best int and love and help like okay let's let's get all this and and more Sheltering more comforting more codling and we're actually creating these massive problems for ourselves and that's why we have these they're called Failure to Launch programs where you have these these young adults good people with unbelievable amounts of potential failing to reach that potential to even get close to it because they're not used to doing hard things and so I think one of the greatest disservices we can do ourselves or our families to make life easy and to not choose hard things but when life is easy because we have so much affluence and life's so good then we we have we have to choose

challenge does that make sense we actually have to choose it and and you'll you'll notice that some of the toughest best people they're out they're out picking really hard things yesterday while we were hiking U we met a couple people that are Ultra marathoners Ultra they're doing Ultra races I mean they were just running up this hill in shorts and a t-shirt in the snow I mean these These are tough people right and they get things done and a lot of people who are doing like Iron Man races are are multi-millionaire successful people in areas of their life because they've learned how to endure and persevere and to do hard things so I I don't think I've I don't think I've shared my swimming analogy I want to share it if I've shared it I'm gon to share it again because it's so worth understanding and remembering um I have some friends that can't swim I think I is share this remember this you guys it fits here I have some friends that can't swim and if I if I throw them just 10t from water um 10t from Shore and water it's it's life-threatening but for you and I we just flash play around swim back not a big deal and so what's what's life-threatening for one is is play for another and then you know if we'd go two miles out we'd be in trouble and yet I have friends that swim that for a warmup and so the difference between being able to swim miles as a meditative warmup or practice and you know a life-threatening experience team for short is really just preparation it's training right and each of us can train ourselves into toughness we can train ourselves into toughness and into this ability to endure and work and push and do crazy hard things so I want I want you to choose that choose it for yourself and model it if you're a parent please model this for your children please do hard things and invite them to join you and then get them to buy in to opt into doing hard things for you my my boys are tough and it's because I invite them to come along and I lead the way and I have since they were little and I've challenged them to do hard things and and my girls are tough too I don't want to leave them out they're tough in fact right now while I'm recording this two of my kids are inside doing an aerial silks class where they just have had to develop over months just this toughness and this grit to be able to pull themselves up these these the silk the fabric is hanging there and do these tricks to face their fears and and build the stamina and the strength in their arms and their legs and their their core and to get flexible to be able to do the splits in the air I mean just get your kids into all kinds of things and and and again this I mean this goes for musical instruments too and just just practicing day in and day out when you don't feel like it and your fingers are sore and your muscles are sore and your mind is sore and memorizing things and learning languages just make sure your life is part of the strenuous life that Theodore Roosevelt talked about I mean we we've got to do these things that will prepare us for life like it it just breaks my heart to hear this that email that email I got this week just breaks my heart like and it was it was literally dozens of young people going back home having failed at an attempt to start life as adults and to do something meaningful and special they they couldn't they couldn't do it and it's so disheartening and so sad and it's so preventable oh so you guys this is why I'm so passionate about this so I hope I'm not being misunderstood here like and these are good people but if we don't build up those tough muscles and and I've found in life there's only one way just literally just one way to become tough and to do hard things that's it there's no other way around it there's no loopholes there's nothing else there's one way to become tough I'm not talking about rough I'm talking about tough there's only one way to become tough and it's to do hard things and that needs to be a part of our family culture and a part of our life and yes of course it is uncomfortable and often unpleasant that's what makes it hard and that's that common denominator of success that I often mentioned to you guys by Albert gray said it's the it's the common denominator of success is that successful people are willing to do the things that unsuccessful people are not willing to do and he says guess what the successful people they don't want to do it either but they do it anyways that right there is the determining factor in Ultimate success or failure we've got to build up those tough muscles that toughness that inner toughness and and make that happen you guys we oh we've got to get out and do that and then awesome things happen come from it right and and you're going to have to take some risks and and do some hard things i' I've done um 12 triathlons done some Epic Adventures one time you know it was in the afternoon we had to do our study we had to do a classes in studies when I was in the university and then they were like let's go rock climbing went up we we rock climbed up three pitches and it took longer than we thought and then we ended up repelling out three pitches in the dark it was crazy and we are being safe we I don't want you guys freaking out we we are being safe with it doing the best we can but we ended up repelling out three pitches and then hiking out a great adventure um I can't can't remember if I told you about the triathlon in Costa Rica where well well let me let me tell you another one I'll tell you about the one I did the extera um Championship not that I was a championship racer I was just I was just my goal was to finish these things and so the the exteror championship was held up in the Ogden Valley in Northern Utah um and you swim a th000 meters in Pine View and then you single track mountain bike up to Snowbasin ski resort up the trail which was a beast and then you get off and your transition there is in the resort and then you run up the the ski runs and run do the trail running up there and so it's just it's just climb climb climb brutal and my legs were just locking up my my quads were just seizing and and I was walking stiff-legged and trying to get my muscles to relax and my charlie horses to go away and and and just pushing and grit and and yeah you can give up you could stop but I I wanted to

finish I pushed I end up finishing that race and that was one of the hardest things I've ever done physically it was brutal and yet it was enjoyable and beautiful and fun and

challenging and and we have to choose choose challenge my friends choose Challenge and it will bring unbelievable blessing unbelievable blessings and benefits and growth and insight and perspective and character and strength to every other area part of your life and so often if if you're struggling with something right now and you're having a hard time finishing things it might be you need to build up some of that those tough muscles to be a finisher to get things done do what needs to be done whether you feel like doing it or not and man that'll bless our lives awesome is always an option reach

upward hey everybody thanks so much for listening to this episode I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply to your life right away hey I'm I'm being totally sincere when I say I I live to help you live your extraordinary life so I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life and in fact you know this this podcast is brought to you by the school of awesome sauce monthly coaching program take advantage of that get in there if it's the best way to get a breakr to the next level so you can level up your health your spirituality your emotions your mind your relationships your finances business every part of your life just get in there where you have a a coach and a mentor you have a supportive Community to make things happen so so jump in there take advantage of this try it out get in there with us and level up your life see you on the inside reach upward [Music]