Jan. 24, 2019

#3 The Terrible Car Accident (and Near Loss of a Child) that Changed our Lives Forever

The player is loading ...

This episode is a powerful reminder of family gratitude and perspective. Greg Denning shares the night his family almost lost their daughter—and the miracles that followed. His story will inspire you to cherish your loved ones, forgive quickly, and live each day with renewed purpose and appreciation.

"They'll stop. We're in the United States where people follow traffic laws and we have the right of way."

Those were my (Rachel's) exact thoughts as I saw headlights coming fast toward us as we drove through a sleepy fishing village in Alaska. We'd previously spent five months living in India where driving was a hazardous activity.

But in the U.S., people follow the rules.

So we don't need to worry.

I was wrong.

The car, driven by a teenager (we later discovered) came careening down a long, private driveway and didn't even brake before t-boning us right at the gas tank.

It threw our minivan into a ditch, and as soon as we stopped moving I turned around to comfort my small children (five children under the age of 7).

I could hear my six-week-old baby screaming but I couldn't find him! He wasn't in his car seat!

My husband opened his door to go into EMT mode only to see our three-year-old daughter lying on the grass. His heart stopped.

Listen now to this powerful episode about our 'terrible night of miracles' with potent lessons about what really matters in life.

It's easier to be grateful when you just go through a reality check.

Hopefully, everyone doesn't have to go through such a life-altering tragedy but what you intellectually and emotionally take away from those experiences change your life forever.

When bothered by the little things simply imagine how you would feel if one day you lost them. It changes your perspective.

Listen to this episode now to learn powerful lessons from this terrible night.

More Takeaways from Tragedies (videos):

Life Lessons from Guatemala
Connection with a homeless man in Morocco
Pausing to enjoy the wonders of life

RESOURCES:

Let us help you in your extraordinary family life journey.

How We Raised 7 Well-Adjusted Kids - Without Yelling, Tantrums, Punishments or Power Struggles (+ get THE CHECKLIST: Things We Do Every Day to Raise Well-Adjusted Kids)
Rachel’s ⁠⁠Must-Read Booklist for Well-Read Moms⁠⁠
Greg's ⁠⁠Recommended Reading List for Parents & Youth⁠⁠
Follow us on Instagram: ⁠@worldschoolfamily⁠ or ⁠@greg.denning⁠
Don’t miss out on the Extraordinary Parent Mentoring Method class!
Get Rachel's ⁠⁠Family Systems & Charts⁠⁠
Get Rachel’s Extraordinary Family Life Planner
JOIN GREG'S 90-DAY HEALTH & FITNESS CHALLENGE!
Join the Formidable Family Man Masterclass and Tribe
Gather with us at the ⁠World School Family (Beach & Farm) Resort⁠ in Portugal

0:06

Hey guys, this is Greg Denning and you are in the School of Awesome Sauce where I share with you amazing stories and strategies to help you live an extraordinary life.

Hey everybody, Welcome back to the School of Awesome Sauce podcast with Greg Denning.

0:29

And today I got to share that story that I promised a couple episodes ago.

Your last episode, we talked about, you know, creating extraordinary experiences and collecting memories.

And this memory was not one that we created nor that we intentionally collected or gathered.

0:48

But it hit home so hard and was such a reality check that it was a turning point in our lives.

And it was again we it was things we'd already been thinking about and reading about it and already decided to.

1:04

But you know you have those experiences in life that really drive home a lesson and you they make it stick forever.

And it of course this one is stuck for us and for family members, anybody who knew about it.

Whenever I tell the story, boy it hits home so hard with the time we we were living.

1:23

We've been traveling for years and and I'll I'll I'll come back and hit more stories.

I keep teasing you guys with this.

I'm going to share the full story as we go along.

But I want to hit.

I want to hit these big lessons because if I hit them up front and share the big why behind the way we live and why we do this and why I'm I'm so adamant about sharing and encouraging and challenging you to live your own great life story and to make it happen with the the big whys gives the drive and the motivation to keep going.

1:58

We had been in India working with people who had leprosy, and I'll share some stories from that experience later.

And Rachel got pregnant with #5 and she, you know, being in India when you're pregnant is tough 'cause the smells and the heat.

2:22

You know, where we were in in Southeast India was like 118 degrees.

Crazy, humid, spicy food, weird smell.

2:37

Oh man, it was tough.

So she was, she was quite nauseated.

And so we decided to leave India.

We flew into Georgia, Atlanta, GA, bought a, bought a van, drove across the states, you know, visit some family, had a cool experience traveling across the US and then we decided to go to Alaska.

3:00

Rachel's mom had recently moved to Alaska.

We'd never been to Alaska with a man, let's let's go to Alaska.

We'll have a baby up there, have a great Alaskan experience.

And so we moved up to Alaska.

We drove up, drove up the Alcan, the Alaska Canada Highway, up through Alberta and British Columbia.

3:20

And man, was it stunning.

Wow, just those mountains and all the animals.

We saw so much wildlife and big home sheep and bears and moose and Caribou and oh, it was incredible.

3:38

And and I was so clueless.

It was funny.

I remember we were going to camp.

We were going to camp along the way up through Alberta and British Columbia.

And so I thought, well, I need a, I need a nice big flashlight you know, so we can you know have enough light at night when we're camping and whatever.

3:57

And so I remember I went out and bought this big old flashlight like a million candlelight power flashlight and we get up in the British Columbia and we're camping and duh, like when you're that far north the light is out all night long.

4:13

And we were we'd be laying in our tent.

You know, it's eleven, 12:00 at night and it's still light outside and the kids are laying there like, it's not nighttime.

Dad, why are we trying to go to bed?

Like what?

What's going on here?

And I was like, this flashlight is completely worthless.

But we actually had this epic drive up through there and going to Banff and Jasper up through the Yukon and then across Alaska.

4:37

And we went into Homer AK, which is at the bottom of the Kenai Peninsula.

And we spent the summer there gathering wild blueberries and eating endless amounts of fresh salmon and halibut and, you know, seeing the bears and the moose and the bald Eagles and going out on the spit there in Homer and the beaches and crossing the Ketchumak Bay and staying over on the other side.

5:04

And just the the beauty and the wonder and the wildness of Alaska, it's there's still so much this is wild and open up there.

It it, it really feels like it's another country.

5:20

It it, it's just such a special place.

Alaska is so fun.

So we got out on the water, made some great friends, played hard and as the end of summer rolled around Rachel was ready to have the baby.

So a little our little guy joined us.

5:37

In fact we went out.

We went out to go hiking.

It was September, maybe the 10th.

I think we went out to go for a hike and right as we get to the trailhead to go hiking her water broke right there on the trailhead and and all of our little kids are like, whoa, mom, mom peed what's going on and and and we're like no, her water broke.

6:00

I mean she's she's going to be having her baby.

So exciting and they were disappointed that we weren't going on a hike.

They're like no, we want to go on the hike.

It was awesome.

So we drove up to to Soldotna and that it was a long tough labor.

6:18

That one was that was hard and and big old boy with the big head.

We named him Atlas, Atlas Sterling and he joined us and it was so it was fun.

We're there.

6:34

We got a new baby and just a few weeks later we were went to a little Halloween gathering.

I guess it would have been what, six weeks, five or six weeks later went to a little Halloween gathering.

You know, the kids are all dressed up in their little costumes.

6:50

Went to a little gathering party and then went over to a friend's house to watch a movie and the kids all fell asleep.

And so we're we're loading up to go home.

It's dark, it's cold and we're in the sleepy little part of town in an already small town, and we're we're only about four blocks from home.

7:13

And so I take the kids and I just, you know, they're they're all sleep.

So we wrap them up in their blankets and we set them in the our little minivan just kind of bundled up in their blankets.

We don't buckle them in because we're just going to slowly drive home and they're like, there's no cars out, right?

7:34

And so we're driving home, literally no cars anywhere.

It's just sleepy, dark, cold.

I was driving maybe 20 miles an hour if that, and we get about a block from our house and the only car out there just comes flying.

7:55

I see it out of my peripheral vision on my left side, this car, I see these headlights buzzing and I and I just, you know, I I mentally like, well, they're going to stop because I have the right away.

I was going along and the car didn't stop, didn't even slow down.

8:14

And so I tried to speed up to avoid the collision, and the car smashed into the driver's side rear tire and just hit us full impact, never even hit the brakes.

8:34

And it's flipped our van, our minivan in a 180 and threw us into a ditch.

Now, I had been an EMT and worked on an ambulance for a couple years.

And so mentally and emotionally, I, you know, I went into EMT mode like, OK, I've got to, I got to assess my family, I got to check everyone.

8:57

I got to make sure everything's OK here, so I was going to get out of my door, the driver's side door.

I was driving and run around to the other side of the van where the sliding door was to get in and check my children cuz I quick look.

I knew my wife was okay, so I throw open my driver's side door into the ditch and I step out and to my utter horror, on the other side of the ditch, laying in the weeds, was my little 3 year old girl, Aaliyah.

9:46

I don't even know how to describe the feeling a parent has to see their precious little child like that, knowing that she had been ejected from the car.

10:12

It it was sickening and horrifying and scary and I was so terrified that I was going to lose her.

Well, I immediately ran over to her start assessing, you know, seeing if everything.

10:30

Luckily she was alert and talking to me and and she wasn't even crying through this whole thing.

She was such a champ little 3 year old girl.

And I said to Leah where are you hurting?

And she says my head hurts, Daddy.

10:47

And so I assess her head and I'm, I'm holding her head and her neck to support it.

And I said, what else hurts?

And she says my leg hurts.

So which leg?

And she picks up her cute little hand, a little chubby finger.

And she points to her right leg.

And I look down and her femur, which is the big bone between your knee and your hip, her finger, her femur was broken in half.

11:12

And so I'm calling for help, you know, calling the neighbors, trying to get blankets, getting them to activate, you know, 911 EMS, get the ambulances to us.

And so I'm.

I'm staying with her.

I can't go anywhere.

My wife is in the van, you know, looking for the kids.

11:29

It's totally dark.

The baby had he was all bundled up and he had bounced out of his car seat under the seat and he was fine and and everyone else was fine except our son Parker had had hit something.

We don't know what he hit.

He'd hit something and it had just cut open his his scalp really bad and he wanted me and so he had gotten out of the van and was calling for me.

11:52

Dad, where are you?

And I'm trying to call it.

Come here buddy.

And he steps over into the street light.

You guys.

And it, man, it's it.

It all seems so unreal.

In emergency situations like this, it seems like a dream.

It seems like this nightmare and and your your adrenaline's going and everything seems unreal.

12:12

It's it's crazy.

And they kept asking this is is this a dream?

What's happening?

And he he, you know that he was bleeding pretty severely and there's blood all over his face.

And he, he steps into the the light there and trying to walk across the ditch to come over to me so I can comfort him.

And interestingly that's that's Alia's main memory is seeing Parker's face covered with blood.

12:34

She remembers that.

But the ambulances show up.

They activate everything.

We were only a few blocks from the hospital.

Luckily, they got us all in.

Ambulances took us all up there you know put on backboards neck braces everything.

They give some medication to Alia right away and and she goes to sleep and then they they had to send off they were in the backboard and backboards just are are excruciating painful with the neck braces and and they they cleared everybody else.

13:03

Our other three children were fine.

Rachel and I were fine.

They cleared us all and and then they but they had to put they had to shave Parker's head and put in staples because his cut was so bad and he was just crying screaming why then And the the doctor needed my help and I literally had to crawl up on the Gurney and hold him down so they could shave his head and staple and clap.

13:29

And he's you know he's just crying looking up and his little boy like dad why are you doing this to me?

You know just heartbreaking like sorry buddy we have to do this.

It was so.

It was so tough and it was such a hard night, but it was interestingly our horrible night of miracles.

13:48

Is is how I refer to it.

Where it was bad, it was very bad.

But there were so many miracles so many little things happen We we easily could have lost a child that night and Aaliyah and I the next morning had to take a helicopter up to a bigger trauma unit where she went into surgery and then ended up in a whole body, cast both ankles all the way up to her armpits.

14:19

It was pink.

And she was in that for 14 weeks while her femur healed.

And it was tough times and and now this the the guy who hit us, it was a young man.

He's 18.

14:34

He was just he wasn't I I thought for sure he was on drugs or drunk or something.

He just, he was just hot rod in his car and didn't pay attention.

And of course he felt horrible.

Totaled both our cars.

But but we walked away from that And I'm.

And I'm no lie here.

14:51

I'm not.

No.

No exaggeration.

Like no complaining.

No problems.

Like all of the problems we had the day before gone didn't matter.

Like it was the most serious reality check we'd almost lost our daughter.

And when you have an experience like that and I hope, I hope you don't have to have that experience.

15:11

I hope you'll learn from mine.

When you have an experience like that, everything comes back into perspective about what matters and what doesn't.

And if I were to ask you, you know, the things you're upset about, the people you're upset at, what if you were to lose them?

15:37

You know, we get.

We get so frustrated.

We get so irritated by things people are doing or not doing and and it it seems in the moment it seems like such a big deal.

But when we ask questions like that, what if you were to lose them all the sudden those little irritating things aren't such a big deal anymore.

16:05

And to this day I still like.

I cannot get upset with Aaliyah just it is just been so deeply ingrained in my mind and my heart and my soul.

Like I almost lost this girl.

All these little things, they don't matter.

And it was like that for everybody.

16:23

Everybody in the community and Homer, our friends, our family, and everyone I've told the story to.

When when they hear the story, it's like whoa, instant reality check of like love, love your loved ones, forgive, let go of the grudges, don't allow yourself to be irritated anymore by the little things.

16:50

It's not worth it.

And if we can maintain that perspective without having the terrible experiences, then everything's different.

And then and you guys, it was, it was it was really powerful and important that I had that experience because that ended up we ended up staying through the winter and winters in Alaska are tough.

17:13

They are dark.

I remember the sun would come up.

I'd go into work and it was it was a job I did not love.

And it was you know like the I remember seeing the sun come up around 10:00 and go down about 3.

It's like oh I just go along the horizon and go back down like oh come on it's dark again and and you know easily -25 often and and the roads would ice over and we'd slide off the road and of course we're all freaked out because of the experience and and now I've got this chubby little girl who's in excruciating pain in a full body cast.

17:49

I have to do everything for her we're we're back in diapers or carrying her to the bathroom she can't move.

I have to move her everywhere to to try to put a full body cast in a in a car seat in the car to take her.

You know anywhere we go to go visit family to go out to the store to do anything with a with a child and a full body cast.

18:11

It was tough and it was a cold cold winter and and we were heating with the with the wood burning stove and so we're gathering cords and cords of wood and splitting them and gathering coal on the beach there and just very strenuous just a hard time.

I didn't complain once.

18:27

I was just like I was so grateful to be alive, so grateful to have my family and and even in a tough circumstance, it was easy to be grateful because I'd had the reality check.

And so it not not to be you know negative or fearful, but just to remember like don't let's not take people for granted, let's not take life or health for granted.

18:56

Let's really value and appreciate what we have and and it's going to stop us from complaining and and honestly complaining, complaining, whining and complaining never makes any situation better.

In fact it usually makes it worse because now it's it's hitting your mindset and you got a negative mindset and negative energy and it it just it makes problem worse.

19:18

And so let's let's go forward my friends, with gratitude, with joy with excitement and definitely with perspective and cherish man, cherish the people you love.

19:40

Cherish life.

Wake up every morning and be like woohoo.

I'm just grateful to be alive today.

I get another shot at life and and I'm being serious.

I'm being sincere.

Even when it's tough, wake up with that kind of gratitude and go after it.

19:57

Go after your goals.

Work hard if there's things in your life you don't like right now.

Work on making those changes and you can.

And let's Let's live a life that we just absolutely love.

Because, my friends, awesome is always an option.

20:15

Reach upward for it.

Make it happen.

We'll see you in the next episode.

Hey, everybody.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode.

I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply to your life right away.

20:33

Hey, I'm.

I'm being totally sincere when I say I I live to help you live your extraordinary life.

So I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life.

And in fact, you know this.

This podcast is brought to you by the School of Awesome Sauce Monthly Coaching Program.

20:53

Take advantage of that.

Get in there if it's the best way to get a breakthrough to the next level so you can level up your health, your spirituality, your emotions, your mind, your relationships, your finances, business every part of your life.