Parenting Is a Skill: How Attachment Ends Tantrums & Rebellion
Are you using “attachment parenting” — or accidentally doing permissive parenting?
In this eye-opening conversation, Greg & Rachel Denning break down what true attachment parenting is (and isn’t). They share the skills, mindsets, and tools that helped them eliminate tantrums for 16 years and prevent teen rebellion—without yelling, shaming, or rigid control.
You’ll learn why parenting is a specific, learnable skill, how to build secure attachment from baby to teen, and where popular advice (cry-it-out, forced “holding time,” over-scheduling, letting kids lead everything) quietly damages trust. You’ll also get a clear blueprint for connection with boundaries so kids feel safe, seen, and guided—and you feel calm, confident, and effective.
Bottom line: Attachment is earned, not forced. Respect your child’s free will, meet real needs (sleep, food, attention), co-regulate big emotions, and set firm, sensible boundaries. That’s the evergreen approach that works in every generation.
Key Takeaways
✅ Parenting is a skill—unrelated to how good you are at business, sports, or leadership.
✅ Attachment ≠ permissive. It’s connection + boundaries and kind + firm.
✅ Attachment is earned, not forced. No cry-it-out or “holding until defeat.”
✅ Respect free will while providing age-appropriate structure and safety.
✅ Co-regulation first (your calm is contagious), then teach self-regulation.
✅ Meet basics (sleep, nutrition, attention) before behavior battles.
✅ Measure success by long-term trust and adult outcomes—not short-term compliance.
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to Attachment Parenting
00:43 Clarifying Misunderstandings in Parenting
02:04 The Importance of Parenting Skills
03:09 Defining Success in Parenting
04:39 Understanding Attachment Parenting
05:23 The Dangers of Misapplied Parenting Techniques
06:56 The Impact of Adoption on Attachment
08:25 The Consequences of Control in Parenting
11:28 The Role of Freedom in Child Development
13:48 The Misconception of Holding Time
16:10 The Impact of Sleep Training on Children
17:59 Respecting Free Will in Parenting
20:39 The Concept of Holding Time
24:22 Understanding Boundaries and Safety
28:24 Preparing Children for Adulthood
31:24 The Lifelong Mentor-Mentee Relationship
33:01 Building a Legacy of Good Parenting
Memorable Quotes
🗣 “Parenting is a skill—and a very specific one you can learn.”
🗣 “Attachment is earned, not forced.”
🗣 “Be kind and firm: connection with boundaries.”
🗣 “Children push to find the boundary—when they find it, they feel safe.”
🗣 “Your calm co-regulates their storm.”
RESOURCES:
Let us help you in your extraordinary family life journey.
How We Raised 7 Well-Adjusted Kids - Without Yelling, Tantrums, Punishments or Power Struggles (+ get THE CHECKLIST: Things We Do Every Day to Raise Well-Adjusted Kids)
Rachel’s Must-Read Booklist for Well-Read Moms
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