Stop the 18-and-Out Myth: Why Teens Don’t Need to Leave to Launch

By the mid teens, they should be so capable and competent and confident. We are unconsciously sabotaging our own success. We're questioning it. So, let's let's see what works and what doesn't. If your children will only become capable and contributing, if you kick them out, you've already failed. It's it's a parenting problem. It's a game changer. Honestly, it really is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Extraordinary Family Life podcast. We're your host, Greg and Rachel Denning. Okay. So, uh, a few weeks ago, we we posted about how, you know, this this whole idea, this kind of arbitrary idea of having your kids move out at 18, which is a very American idea. We're going to share our approach today is like they're going to be capable, competent, independent, mature. They're going to do all the growing up, but it doesn't require that they move out at this and separate. Yes. That they separate at some arbitrary age. Yeah. If your children will only become hardworking, competent, capable, and contributing if you kick them out, you've already failed as a parent because they should already be doing those things. Like successful parenting to me is your children are already doing those things and are such great human beings that one, you wouldn't need to kick them out and two, you don't want to because you enjoy being around them so much and they're so helpful. They're so grateful. They're so useful. They're so capable. You don't want them to leave. You want to be with them. They want to be with you. But at any moment, they could walk out the door and thrive. Exactly. That is the ideal. And that I think is what we're trying we want to help reframe. I mean the reason we're doing this podcast, the reason I did this reel, in fact I posted it a couple times. I want to spread this idea because I know for me it's in a way been revolutionary and it resonates with me because I'm like, well, yeah, that's how it used to be. That's how it should be. Families are meant to be generational. Be gen Yeah. multigenerational, intergenerational, not oh here you go start your family over here and you start your family over here and we all live separated that it's not meant to be that way. So the nuc the whole idea of the nuclear family especially in the US really started in the 40s50s60s. So by the time we were born in the late 70s it was already you know ingrained in society it was cultural expectations. So we grow up, we just as a kid or you just you you don't even question. You don't think to question it. You don't think why are we do this? Like oh this is just the way things are done. Mhm. So by the time we're raising our kids like oh 18 on you go never going wait a minute where does this arbitrary number come from? Why is that even a thing? Does it happen in other cultures? Has it happened throughout time? What are the pros and cons of it all? We just no thinking. It's like we'll roll along. We'll keep paring and that's what's happening. Even though because we started traveling when our oldest daughter was four and we had four kids under the age of four and and we started to see some of this in other cultures that they lived they continued to live together interg generationally. You know, they weren't moving out at 18. In fact, they were living there till they were 20 or 30 or even longer sometimes or or forever. They spent their whole life with their family. I often assume though that was out of desperation and poverty. Well, and and I think that's how we we did think about it because we thought, "Oh, well, they're in a developing country, so they do that because they have to." And so that was part of our thinking. So even though we were seeing it, we still didn't totally connect the dots of like, wait a second, why does America do it differently? And why do we have this assumption that if your child doesn't move out at 18 and can't handle living on their own and and being success whatever like all these things that somehow now they failed to launch and you failed to prepare them, you know, like that's the way we thought about it. And so now we're saying, well, wait a second, no, that that's a faulty idea. That's the idea that's wrong because even simple things like the fact that the prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed until the age of 25. Like adulthood doesn't automatically begin at 18 and they shouldn't automatically now be ready to handle everything that life throws at them simply because they are 18. And in fact that we want to talk about in this episode is that they're going to be even more prepared if they have a longer amount of time at home with you to be a part of this critical young adult phase when you can help them and guide them as they make very important decisions as they learn how to handle challenges at a new level. Right? The adult skills challenges. you're there to guide and help them through this process rather than requiring them to figure it out all on their own because they moved out. Yeah. And so really if you're looking at maybe 10 10 to 25 is this stage of education, development, skill development, growth. And if we see it as that, it's like no, and it just intensifies. It keeps increasing in intensity. It hit 15 and hit 18, it hit 20. It's like it just keeps increasing where they are really truly deeply digging into a world-class education like the books, the academics, just really deep powerful education and skill development skills for for life and for uh career and occupation. Yeah. So, and if we are supporting that, so instead of saying 18 year old on your own, it's like no, I man 16 16 up, 16 to 25, I'm going to support them in like pursuing all these really good things, experiences, classes, courses, you know, training, apprenticeship, like all of this stuff that's going to help them be extremely valuable in the marketplace and in society and in family. Yeah. Well, and this is kind of a little side note, but I I found it very fascinating because I'm I'm pursuing my bachelor's in psychology and I was taking my psychology class and you know, I've I've heard of Ericson before, Eric Ericson, and I'm familiar with his stuff, but what was really interesting to me is because he's separated he's done all the stages of development, which for me, I was mostly familiar with the stages of childhood up to young adulthood. But then when I was reading through this, he also classifies the stages of adulthood as well. And he considers young adulthood to be up to the age of 40, which I thought was really interesting. Well, because he says around 40 is when you really start contributing. Yes. So in this process of life development and stages of life, it's after 40 you really start contributing because before that you're gaining education and experience and exposure to have something to contribute. Yeah. Hey there, this is Greg Denny. We want to reach as many people as possible and help as many families as possible with these conversations and we want to keep this podcast adree forever. You can help us do that by subscribing on Spotify or Apple Podcast or wherever you listen, your favorite platform and on YouTube and leave a quick review and share your favorite episodes with friends and family. It makes a big difference. Thank you for being a part of this very important movement. Yes, exactly. So, I thought that that was really interesting because imagine if we totally reframed things and we thought, "Oh, you're not a full contributing adult until 40." Like how would that alter our relationships with our families? You know what I'm saying? Like as mature adults in our 40s and 50s, we would still be fully engaged in the process of mentoring our children through their young adulthood because we realize how crucial it is to setting them up to contributing in their later years. I mean, it could totally like like you just expand the vision of your role as a parent where I feel nowadays so many parents feel like 18, I'm done, right? And it's like they never think about parenting their child after the age of 18. So, you're done somehow. And that's part of the that's part of the SC up, right? Because it's the nuclear family. It's dividing. It's separating. It's it's like I can wash my hands now. I'm done. I did the bare minimum. My kids survived till 18. Now you're out. now you figure it out and then I can just do what I want. It's like what a dumb idea. There's no generational family there. It's like procreated. I fed them and cleaned up after them for 18 years and then get out of my life. You're annoying me. This is messed up. So now I know a lot of you listening and a lot of people commented like, "No, no, that's a dumb idea. Moving out is the best thing ever. You know, I moved out. I know people who moved out. It's so good." Whatever. and and America's the best way. I just want you to pause and realize that hands down the United States is one of the most ill, diseased, broken societies on the planet. But if if we don't travel extensively and have experience outside of it and and study history, you just think, "Oh, this is a human experience. The the widespread mental illness is a human experience." No, it's not. It's a cultural it's a societal experience. The mental illness, the emotional illness that's that's being experienced right now in the US is not widespread. It's not worldwide. We get so blinded by the idea we grow up in that you just go look for confirmation bias. You're looking everywhere. You just like start questioning it. Start saying, "Well, wait a minute. Let's let's see what's actually there. What works and what doesn't." Now, obviously, this isn't failproof. It isn't for every family. Mhm. If parents are dysfunctional, like that's where I'm like, "Yeah, the kids should move out." Well, okay. So, let's read a couple of these comments cuz one of them was like, "Hm, I'm going to have to think about this because it wouldn't work for every child." Dot dot dot gamers. I agree with you. This wouldn't work for a gaming child, but kind of pause. So, They're looking at the strategy of like let your kids stay longer and think that strategy won't work because I have a gamer. And we want to kind of challenge that by saying if you have a gamer in my mind, if I have a gamer, I've already failed at parenting. So, it's not the strategy that doesn't work. It's the fact that I raised a gamer. And you might say, "Well, no, it's not my fault." And I'm going to say, "Yeah, it is because you're the parent. If you've allowed your child to become a gamer, then that is a failure in my mind. Now, we all fail at things. That's okay. It's not a problem. We just then have to resolve it somehow. Fix it. It's more difficult when they're older, but it's possible. And yes, I would agree that if your child is already, say 18, is in gaming. Yep. I guess maybe they do need to go. So, to reframe it, it's it's not that um the strategy won't work because I have a gamer. It's like, well, your parenting strategy is not working. And that's why this won't work either. That's why you have gaming. Yeah. And that's one one thing I wanted to make is that in all these comments that came in, many of them were just um revealing. They were selfrevly. Yeah. So the parents like, "My kids can't stay cuz they're just lazy and they don't do anything. They don't help out. They don't contribute. They just want to sleep all day. So there's no way I'm doing that. What a dumb idea." And he's like, "No, it's not the idea. It's your parenting strategies, your lack of parenting skills that have led to kids who don't contribute, who aren't respectful, who are sleeping in, who taking advantage of you, who aren't helping out. It's it's a parenting problem, not an idea or philosophical problem. And again, this is not meant to attack parents or make them feel bad or guilty because the analogy we love to use is that if we told you you suck at tennis, that's not because we think you're a bad person. And it just means you don't have good tennis skills. And parenting, just like tennis, is a skill that you learn. And so if you don't have good parenting skills because you've never taken parenting lessons, shocking, they don't exist. That doesn't mean you're a bad person. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. You just haven't taken the lessons and you haven't practiced so that you have the parenting skills. Just like is if you don't have tennis skills because you didn't take tennis lessons and practice. Same thing. so important. So, it's just bringing up a point. Oh, you obviously lack parenting skills because you haven't learned them or practiced them. That's that's all we're saying, right? And and one of those that comes up all the time that I hear so frequently and and I've been hearing this for decades is these parents are like, I can't wait till my kid turns 18, get out of this house. And and their their relationship with him was so bad, so dysfunctional. the way the behavior, the dynamics and the family culture was so bad, those parents would have joyfully kicked their kids out at 14, 15, 16, 17, but it's illegal. Mhm. And so, you know, that's that's another reason 18 is because that's when it's legal. They're for whatever reason, you know, certain countries have said, "Okay, 18 is the legal age of an adult." And so, parents are just waiting until it's legal to kick their kids out. Otherwise, they would have done it before. But again, it's not has nothing to do with the age or legality or anything. It's like, no, you you're you're failing the relationship. Yeah. Exactly. To have the relationship you want and be the the caliber of parent your kids need you to be. Right. Exactly. So then the real problem comes back to the lack of skills as opposed to this whole idea of launching. Right. Exactly. So okay, like this comment says disagree. It's called failure to launch and enabling your kid to live off the parents and to not make their mark in the world. Well, this is exactly revealing this concept we've been talking about that we've we have been trained as a society to believe this that if your child does not move out at 18, then you're enabling them. They're living off of you and they can't make their mark in the world and they failed to launch. And we're saying, yeah, we we used to believe that in many ways, and now we're saying that is wrong. And we still do. And still we have multiple podcast episodes. We talk about failure to launch all the time, but failure to launch has literally nothing to do with the age 18. It has to do with the cultivated and developed ability to be self-reliant and contribute, to be more mature, to be more independent. Correct. And independence begins happening from the very like adolescence. No, I'm talking about real independence starts. It's happening the entire childhood like when they stop nursing and then when they stop, you know, being held and then when they are walking and crawling like all of that is a form of developing independence. So it's ongoing and so the independence should be continuing even you know 18, 19, 20. That is of course the goal. Exactly. We're not talking again about having baby children that never grow up. The independence is happening, but it doesn't mean it has to happen by them being separated from you. That is what we're emphasizing that that's a false idea. So, we need to and I think and I'm saying this because I really strongly believe this, we need to get rid of this idea. We should not be requiring or expecting our children to move out at 18. But the other side of that coin is we need to be teaching them the skills that we think they would be learning when they move out. We need to be long before 18. Long before 18. Yeah. Like they should be learning these basic things when they are 14, 15, 16, 17. And so I I guess and here's here's part of this where the skill and strategy comes in is parents often moms are doing all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the laundry, all the shopping, everything for their kids until they're 18 and finally she's like, "I'm exhausted. I'm done. You leave now." So I don't have to do it. There's your problem, right? I mean, starting at 10, 11, 12, your children should be doing the dishes. They should preparing meals. help with shopping 100% should be doing the laundry. Washes her own laundry. They should all be doing that. So that that the cultivation of life skills is already there. Yeah. Guess I got to reemphasize this. We fail as parents if we are not deliberately, proactively and consistently teaching and training our kids in life skills from a very early age. So that by the mid teens, they already should be so capable and competent and confident and grateful. Yeah. And great attitudes, contributing, carrying their weight. They're not sitting around entertaining themselves. They're not whining, crying, complaining. They're not screaming you that you should pick up their dirty socks and do their laundry and go get them things. Like that's just a epic failure in parenting. Exactly. There was Okay, so one of the other comments that we did get quite a few of cuz this this this specific reel got like over 3 million views and we had hundreds and hundreds of comments, but one reoccurring theme was people saying I moved out at 18 because I like this one to get away from my abusive parents and to stop being forced to be their personal mate. So we also want to emphasize that this is not another aspect of it. We're not preaching or teaching and especially when we talk about how helpful our children are and they're doing all these things. Well, it's not because they're forced to do them either. They are taught, encouraged, praised, sometimes even paid for doing these things that they're doing, right? And they do it joyfully because they want to help out. do it because they feel maybe joyfully isn't always the right word, but willingly. They do it willingly. Ultimately, what we're trying to say is we need to be teaching and raising our kids long before 18 to recognize the importance of contributing to the family and and and beginning to participate in contributing to the family so that we don't have to worry about them being 18 and on one side being a slave so they want to leave and on the other side being so lazy and um entitled you want them to leave. Exactly. Exactly. Right. We don't want either scenario. We want the happy middle ground where they are contributing. They are competent. They're willing and you enjoy being around them and you don't want them to leave because they're such great people. That's the magic space at least for me. I love it. I am. So I actually started working I know it sounds crazy. I started working with teens when I was a teen. I was going down the girl Boys and Girls Club. I was helping out because I was struggling. I was out on my own. I was it was hard and I wanted to give back and I wanted to share what I was learning or at least offer some help. So, I've been involved in that space and it's amazing to to keep kind of have your finger on the pulse for the last 30 years literally and to see what works and what doesn't. And and I've seen it. I've seen it all. And I'm I still work with teens every week and it's awesome. And even since then, I hear people talk so negatively about the teen years and adolescence and oh, they're starting puberty and so terrible. It's actually amazing. And teens are they're fun and and energetic and and they're just experiencing all the ups and downs and crazies of life, the the triumphs and the tragedies, and they're they're feeling it all. And they get all fired up and passionate about things. And sometimes they get excited and interested in the wrong things and in the right things and they're all over there trying to figure out who their identity of it. It's really awesome. It really is powerful and they're amazing. The problem is as as a as a whole parents are are missing the opportunity and they're they're viewing it wrong. They're they're showing up in the wrong way and so they're creating a lot of the problems. But then you talk to everybody, you know, the common thing is like, "Oh, it's just a teen years. That's just all hormones and it's just attitudes and oh, that's just the way it is." No, it isn't. That's it's common because it's so frequently being done wrong. But with the right tools and strategies, the right systems, it's actually incredible. So so so enjoyable and fun. And so we've, you know, we've in our family of seven children, we've had five teens so far, and it's been amazing. It has been absolutely amazing and and working with teens has been amazing. So like it it's all there just you just have to have the techniques and the proven practices and principles which I I'll throw this in there. We just Rich and I created this phenomenal phenomenal parenting program. We call it the extraordinary parent mentoring method and it comes with coaching too. And we're just releasing now the this new cohort for adolescence. So parents of adolescence. So the parents of adolescence, right? So it's just preparing for the people call the tween years. This is when you're starting puberty and adolescence and the teens. And it's it's all about like the way it turns out for the for the teen and for the entire family dynamic and culture and even legacy I would say is how we prepare for and how we handle those years. And those are brief years and they fly by. They're pretty intense and they go so fast. But it's worth every single effort. It is literally worth every single effort to prepare for and perform well during those years. Well, and then going back to the analogy I was using before, the parenting parenting skills really are learnable. There's something you can gain just like you can gain tennis skills or piano skills or cooking skills that you can apply immediately. Absolutely. Like I love you're saying that. It's like today you're like, "Hey, do this. I can do that today and and do it today and do it every day and like, oh, that just changed our dynamics. Exactly. Right. So, it really doesn't because so many people to me tell me these things of like, well, it's just so complicated and it's just so difficult. And yes, I realize that that is true, but it also can be less complicated and it can be less difficult when you have the right skills. It's like cooking, you know, and this is actually a really good analogy for me because years ago, you and I, we lived in the Dominican Republic back when our children were small and we literally lived in this little house in a coconut grove. We had no internet. We had no connection to the outside world. We had no cookbooks. We had nothing. And no grocery stores. Yeah. No grocery stores. That to me is the time when I actually learned how to cook for real because I learned the principles behind the ideas of cooking but you know instead of simply just following a recipe. Now the point I want to make with parenting though is that having both is the ideal. It's great to have a recipe but when you also learn the principles behind what makes a recipe work that's when you actually produce the magic. But we want to have both. We want to have parenting recipes, but we also want to have the parenting principles because that's the magic right there. And so I think ultimately, you know, that's what we're teaching in the parenting course and in our coaching, which we meet every single week, every Wednesday. So this Wednesday, we're going to meet again live to discuss this and and learn the parenting, learn how to gain the parenting skills because that really does make the difference. Yes, it's a game changer. Honestly, it really is. And the same is true with parenting. Some of us like our parents or our grandparents were doing something wrong. We didn't know it was wrong. We didn't know it was ineffective. It just got passed down. And so unconsciously you you it was done to you. So you grow up and you do it to your kids and you you get the same crap result. It's like horrible food. You know, you could cook that, right? You know, you could like add some ingredients. You know, you could turn down the temperature or turn up the temperature. you know, you like you don't have to just use potatoes and flour. Like there's so much out there, but we don't know what we don't know. We're doing these things where we are unconsciously sabotaging our own success. We're creating the terrible teens. We're creating the terrible twos. And we don't know it because we just think, well, that's how it's always been done. That's how my mom did. That's how my grandma did. That's just the nature of teenagers. So again, I get let's just wrap up on this this vision, this dream, this ideal of your teens before 18 are competent. They're capable. They're confident. They have great attitudes. They're self leaders getting up on they're going to bed. They're getting up. They're they're leading their own education. They're helping out a ton. Like they're leading their lives already as teens. So if they needed to move out at 16 or 17, 18, easy. They could do it and thrive, but they don't need to. Mhm. Because they're going to keep working on their education and keep developing their skills so that they are ready for marriage or uh to start a business, be entrepreneurs or or to contribute in society, serve a mission or to go to college or whatever it is they choose to pursue or join the family business like all that stuff because we're trying to create a a phenomenal family legacy and generational wealth and generational education. We didn't touch on it enough like the reasons why you don't want to this to happen meaning aka they move out. Part of the reason we touched on a little bit like part of the reason is you can continue mentoring through mentoring them through these phases and that's very useful but the other key is that it helps them build financial stability. It also continues to contribute to the family wealth because part of the whole idea behind the SCOP is if your children move out when they're 18 that benefits big business that benefits other other companies because now instead of them paying rent to you or you consolidating all the rent and expenses in one household, they have their own household expenses and their own rent and their own insurance. So other companies are getting more money and rather than keeping it within the family besides the fact that if you do really want to build generational wealth and one of the you know one of the comments I did receive they were like building the family legacy. Haha so funny. I'm like no you're missing it. You do need to be building a family legacy. You do need to be building generational wealth. you, your family, your children should now contri contribute to your real estate portfolio, right? Like they should be helping you. One idea and they become a part of it like Yeah. One other idea I've seen that we have friends that do this is that when their children do move out, they actually buy a house in wherever their children are going to be living that they they now own which becomes a part of the family real estate portfolio and that's where their child lives. If they can pay for it, great. If they can pay part of it, great. But ultimately, it's contributing to the family legacy and the family wealth as opposed to they're just paying rent to some random person, right? That other bank benefits or the government benefits, whatever else. Exactly. It's totally refraraming all of this of like, oh yeah, wait a second. How do we as a family keep more of our own money so it goes to us instead of going to other places? In our case with our business, it's beneficial and and anyone that owns a business, it's way more beneficial to pay your family members for working to work for you than it is to pay someone else or to just spend it somewhere else. Like that that's a tax write off. Like there's so many financial benefits. Like there's a whole strategy for that. And you get to teach your kids business strategy and and all the business skills and and they get to earn not not just a free gift, they get to earn equity in a real estate or a business or or whatever. Like our son is right now like he's literally doing the projects and the handyman jobs here at our resort, right? Our we've got 13 acres. We have I don't even know the square footage. Huge. He's literally putting sweat equity into this, right? And he and he loves it because he's learning new skills every day. That's He's that kind of guy. He's a hands-on kind of guy. He loves building, fixing, doing all that. So, well, and our daughter's investing in it, too. And it's Anyways, it's awesome. So, is it for everybody? No. Is it for dysfunctional families? Nope. You know, if I if if I were a young adult right now or a youth and and I was in a family that was really really unhealthy and and I'd be like, I'm out. Mhm. I'm out of here. That's a good question. And but if I'm a parent and like, oh, the kids aren't ready for this. I'm not going to look at the strategy and say that strategy doesn't work. I'm going to look at my parenting, say, my parenting isn't producing the child who can fit like this to become to create this ideal. So, I'm going to make adjustments in my parenting strategies. And so, we have a phenomenal relationship. So even if your kid decides, you know, yeah, I do I do want to go out to college or in military or wherever, whatever your kid wants to pursue and do, great. The relationship should be absolutely phenomenal and the pursuit of education should continue. I think that's we haven't even touched on this, but I'll I'll finish with it. That's one thing that kills me is because these kids are moving out at 18 and they have to start working or doing all this other stuff, they're not getting a world-class education. even and I know this is going to hit some people even if they're going to college who think well they're going to college they're getting an education no in fact who is a brain specialist he talks about how horrible college is on a teenage brain a young adult's brain because one they're not sleeping they're staying up late they're often drinking they're partying eating garbage they're stressed out of their minds he said college he he literally has said things like college should not be a thing that you know for that adolescent brain development healthy for the brain. Yep. Exactly. So it's it's not working. It's not creating the end result we want. Whereas if if we can support and encourage our children who are leading themselves and leading their lives, they're they're going to get better sleep. They're going to eat better. They're going to get better education. They're going to get better skill development. They're just going to be so much better off. And because we have a great relationship, all of us are so much better off and we're happier. We're happier when we're together. And this is a real thing. It's not some pie in the sky. We are literally so happy spending time with our all of our children, but I would say especially our young adult children. Now, we we do currently have two young adults who are out. Our oldest is married, so she's with her husband. And then we have a son who's serving a mission for our church. and we in a foreign country speaking a different language. It's fantastic and and it's a great experience for both of them and we're so happy for them and they are thoroughly enjoying what they're doing. But we miss them. We miss them a lot and we love spending time with our other two young adult children who are still at home and we all just like it just makes us so happy. I don't know like I don't know how to talk about how happy we are just being together and and I love and I think part of the reason I love it so much is that because I moved out at 18 again I was rebellious child my dad was controlling um and so we didn't have that I I never experienced this myself but I love seeing my kids want to hang out with me every day like my son who's 20 and my daughter too. But like especially him, he's so intentional about like, "Okay, it's lunch time. Let's go have lunch together." Like he wants to make sure we're doing it together, right? And so we're doing our separate activities, but then he wants to coordinate, hey, let's eat lunch together. Let's have dinner together. Like he wants to have that together time. And then it's like, okay, it's it's the weekend. Let's do something together. Like they want to be with us and they want to spend time with us. And I just find that so heartwarming. Well, it's just awesome. And we love it, too. And and it's important to point out like our kids aren't needy and clingy and we aren't we aren't those never let go of our kids and never let them go anywhere, do anything. And like these two are the same ones who went to Budapest by themselves and they went to Oslo by themselves and they flew to Serbia by themselves. Like they're they're traveling all wonder and have and go out and have hard experiences and we're just like, "Yeah, sucks. Deal with it." like and let him experience that. So, and there's no drama. We don't have the iconic the the typical family drama and the fighting and all the garbage. Not that we don't have disagreements or like differing opinions cuz we definitely do. We have strong opinions, but we work through it and we learn how to negotiate it and we learn how to laugh about it, you know, and it doesn't become this huge like there's no fighting. None. Yeah. That's awesome. So, um, get clear, ladies and gentlemen. Get clear about your ideal. Like, spend some time really thinking about this. Like, what what does it look like? Your family legacy dream. And then once you are clear about what it is, now start figuring out how to build it, make it happen. And, and especially that means getting the knowledge and skills, parenting skills. Exactly. The parenting skills to make it happen. So, love you guys. Family's everything. The work we do with our family is the most important thing there is. And I mean that sincerely. It's the most important work focus where we put our energy, our effort. Yeah. The mission. That's that's what it is. So lean into it. Give it give it all your best stuff. Invest in yourself and your family to that end. Make the sacrifices so that that's at the top of of the most important things you do. Love you guys. Reach up work.

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