#51 Removing The Unnecessary Struggle And Strain From Your Life

Rachel Denning (00:06.51)
Hey guys, this is Greg Denning and you are in the school of awesome sauce where I share with you amazing stories and strategies to help you live an extraordinary life.

Rachel Denning (00:23.79)
Good morning my friends. it's a beautiful dark morning out here. And I've got some awesome sauce to share. You know, we go through life sometimes and we actually, we make it a lot harder on ourselves in the wrong way, right? And what's crazy, we don't even know. We don't even know we're doing it and nobody has taught us why. So it's not our fault. It's not your fault.

We don't even know and I see this all the time like we're we're literally and I and I felt it myself and continue to experience it as We fight against things that we don't understand or know and and we're making it hard on ourselves without knowing why So and you guys know I'm all about I'm all about choosing challenge right and struggle and strain and intentionally doing hard things In fact, I love I love this idea of being hard on myself

so that life is easier versus taking it easy and being easy on myself because life gets harder. And I guess that's one example of what I'm talking about where we try to take it easy in the wrong ways and it makes life so hard. But I guess a good way to illustrate this is what I often say when I'm talking to people who are.

They're busy, right? They're high achievers. They're go -getters. They're people who want to progress in life. It's you guys, right? It's the ones listening to podcasts and reading great books and listening to audiobooks and trying to be your best self and trying to raise a family and trying to make a difference in the world. You're just go -getters and achievers. I love it. I love you people. You and who you are and what you do and how you treat other people and the impact you have, that's what's making the world a great place and even a better place.

But then we struggle unnecessarily if we don't realize that there are a few things that we have implemented in our lives that are like self -sabotage. Right? We've got these things going on in our lives and unless we become aware and make some little adjustments, simple things really, it makes life so challenging, so hard and we're like,

Rachel Denning (02:44.206)
Why is my life like this? And we really, it's like, I'm gonna give several different metaphors here, but you probably have those dreams, right? The dream where you're trying to run for your life, but you're in waist -deep water and you just can't move. But it's like that. It's like we're in one of those little lazy, lazy rivers at the water park, you know, about waist -deep and you're trying to go against the current and you're trying to run, but...

you're not really going anywhere. You're exerting all this effort and not really moving. Or like I like to tell people I'm working with or coaching clients.

It's this idea of, hey, look, my plate is full already. I'm so busy, I have so much going on. And this is, I love it. Because you look at that and you think coaching, you mean you're gonna give me more assignments and more tasks and more to do? Are you kidding me? I have no more bandwidth left. I have no more room on my plate.

I cannot add any weight to the load I'm already carrying. And this is exactly what I'm talking about here. And what I tell people is like, look, I'm not giving you more weights. I'm giving you wings to fly, right? I'm giving you ways to carry the load. I'm giving you leverage power. This is what coaching does, right? It gives you power.

It gives you clarity to identify, wait a minute, you're actually, there's this little thing here, you tweak that a little bit, that's actually creating more struggle for you.

Rachel Denning (04:39.118)
It's making it harder. What you're currently doing is the weight shifted a little bit and yes, you actually add a few little things and it gives you leverage and power and more energy and excitement and more ability and more skillities, right? Your skills and abilities. It gives you more skillities to get after it and get it done. You get the clarity and the mindset and your relationships get better and your health gets better and...

your efficiency and effectiveness get better. So there's a few little things you add that all of a sudden they actually carry the load. Or like another metaphor is if you're trying to get life through a hose and you got a kink in the hose, right? And a lot of us have several kinks in the hose. Some of us, and I've, man, I've been there. I've been there. Where...

You got your hose, your hose is kind of spread out across the lawn and it's just twisted and turned and bent over and there's like 16 kinks in it. And you're just like, it's just trickling out here. I'm just going after it, it's just trickling out. So you walk over and you turn the faucet up even more and you're just trying to force water through that hose. And it's just, it increases, but man, the strain. You're just trying to.

force it out. Is this resonating with you?

A lot of us get in that mode and we've got all these kinks in the hose and we are just forcing it through and we're getting a little dribble at the other end, right? And you're like, I'm giving everything to my marriage or to my parenting or to my work or to my education or to your relationships, to impact.

Rachel Denning (06:41.614)
and all I'm getting is this trickle.

And again, like, please let me remind you, like, it's not your fault. Like, we just aren't, we aren't taught and trained in the right way. And most of our parents had no idea about this stuff. And so they can't teach us because they don't know it, right? And you definitely don't get it in a regular school environment. You don't get this kind of training. This is why life coaching is absolutely essential.

And you can, again, another metaphor, another comparison here, you go into the world of music and learning to play an instrument. Like it is so much strain and so much work and so much effort to make these horrible sounds with your instrument and to try to just brutally self -learn yourself, right? It's terrible and it's a struggle and a strain, like why can I not get this? And the coach comes in and is like, well move your finger this way and.

and what are you doing with your elbow? Like move your elbow. And why are you standing like that? That's weird. Like change your posture and then now try it. And you're like, yeah, that's way easier. Right, and the same in the world of sports. You're just out there struggling and straining, trying to do this move and the coach comes up and is like, man, hey look, you gotta twist, you gotta pivot on your foot a little bit. Lift up your heel and pivot on your foot a little bit.

and then kind of crouch and then there's that technique and okay, now try it. And whoa, hey, this thing I've been struggling with, it's been so hard for me to do. it's actually quite easy now. Or even better yet, the coach comes to you and says, well, yeah, you're struggling to do that because you need to do this little exercise, this core exercise to build up those muscles and those skilleties, right? Do this little basic exercise, do it every day.

Rachel Denning (08:43.95)
and then come back to me in a few weeks and watch, watch what you'll be able to do. So, you know, in the violin it's doing your bow movements and just practicing those a thousand times and 10 ,000 times and these little drills that you do to develop a certain muscle or a certain skill set, right? These, in martial arts, you just, you do this movement again and again and again and again and all of a sudden that movement fits into a fighting situation. You're like,

Okay, that was easy. And so we've got to learn to make our lives easier. And we've got to have the coach to help us do it. So if you guys look, if you want...

To reach for a potential that you feel you have but you're struggling to get. If you're ready to not only to reach another level but to actually serve and thrive and lead at the next level, there's new skilleties and mindsets and there's these little tweaks. You have to get the kinks out of the hose, my friends.

and you have to put something in that load that actually gives you wings, that it actually makes your load lighter. man, it's powerful. This stuff is so powerful. And you're making your struggle less struggling. Or less struggle -ish. I'm gonna invent some words here.

You know what I'm saying? This is such a powerful idea. And so there's little things that I ask people to do and I'll share a few of them here that just they make a dramatic difference. In our School of Awesome Sauce, when you join the School of Awesome Sauce monthly coaching.

Rachel Denning (10:39.886)
we do a 28 day challenge and we give you training on how to fill it out and do it. And it's just a super simple tracker, right? And so again, people are like, I don't need anything else to add to my life. Like I'm so busy, I'm so cramped. And what it does is it's a simple thing. It's quite simple and once it's set up, which doesn't take very long, then to track it is literally like what, 60 seconds a day?

and you check it off in the morning and the evening, right? And you have your AM deadlines, the things you do in the morning and your PM deadlines. And it's little things. Also little things that take very little time. You choose some words that you want, these are your power words. These are words that they identify who you really are. You at your best self.

who you want to become. Because you look at real high performers, high achievers, people who are genuinely and truly great, they have a clarity about who they want to be. And you guys, I've already talked about these words. You know the words here, but you pick these words and you set alarms so that you're reminded every day of who you are, who you want to be, and where you're going.

Because if you don't, if you're not deliberate and strategic and intentional about it, then what words do you end up usually saying? I'm so stupid. that's not gonna work out. It never works out for me. it's just my luck. I'm never, never good enough. I'm so dumb.

I'm so fat. I'm so impatient. And so we, we are all day long are repeating to ourselves these negative things. And it's the same with, with some declarations or affirmations or power statements, right? You, we need to be intentional and strategic about reminding ourselves of who we are at our best. And so you may say something like, I am patient and kind.

Rachel Denning (13:01.518)
that I always look for the good in others. And it feels like a lie because you're like, no I don't, I was just judging that poor lady by what she's wearing. And you're like, no, no, I'm telling myself, hey stop, stop self. I look for the good in others. You're reminding yourself, I look for the good in others, I look for the good in others, I look for the good in others, I notice the good in others. I see the good in others. That's probably the best one right there. I see the good in other people.

And if I say that to myself every morning and every evening and throughout the day, guess what's going to happen? It's going to become automatic. It's going to become my way of being.

And so adding affirmations and declarations and reminders and alarms and alerts and my 28 day tracker, all of a sudden it just makes this little shift and it takes a little bit to just really get it to be a way of being. And then all of a sudden, wait a minute, boy, my interactions with other people, they feel so much better. And my relationships are...

Man, they just feel great right now. I wonder what the difference is. And it's because you've changed the way you think and the way you feel and the way you're doing life and the way you're approaching other people. Just that one simple thing of I see the good in others, all of a sudden starts to go a little bit better and now you're complimenting people and you're praising them. In fact, one of the things we have you do in the 20 -80 Challenge is we have you send a little note.

of appreciation or admiration or love or gratitude or honor. Just a little one. Just, I mean, 15 seconds a day. And you send a little, little note to text and email a message or kind, a little handwritten note or something to the people that are important in your life, to your spouse, your children. And watch what that does. 15 seconds a day. Watch what that does. All of a sudden.

Rachel Denning (15:09.485)
You'll step back and be like, man, things are going so well. Like I just feel this little spark again. I feel the passion. I feel some excitement. Well, what's happened? It's a little thing, right? It's one more thing that we've added, but it's actually gives you power and leverage is now you are thinking about the positive things in your spouse, your child.

So it gives you this good feeling towards them and changes your actions towards them, right? Your attitude and actions towards that person. And then you're sending these little notes and does that have an effect on them towards you? Absolutely it does. Holy guacamole. So you see what I'm saying? And those are just a few examples of little things. Then, then when in coaching we get into the good big stuff and even more of it, right? We're really digging and get into it. You see the power here.

And so instead of adding more kinks to the hose where you're like, look, I've already got enough kinks in my hose. I can hardly get any water out. We go through strategically as a coach. look, there's a kink right there. Go ahead and let's unroll that. And you're like, that's a little bit better. And like, my goodness, look, you've got 47 kinks here. And you had no idea because nobody ever taught you how. Not your fault. We're like, let's systematically go through. This is what coaching is for.

systematically go through and undo the kinks. And you know, take the, this load you're carrying. You're, you got your arms full, you got a backpack on, you're carrying something on your head and you got ankle weights around and you're like, I'm trying as hard as I can and barely moving. You're like, well what you've been doing here since you were a kid is acting like a little ankle weight. Let's, let's go ahead and take that off. Like, wow, Hey, that feels fantastic.

And life gets easier. You make your struggles less struggle -ish. And the pain is less painful. And the movement is more doable. Right? And it's so much easier now to get your next levels. So do these little things, all the things that I've been mentioning in the podcast, the things I share on my Instagram TV and YouTube channel and the resources on our website, you know, things Rachel writes about on

Rachel Denning (17:30.733)
on our website and her blog and the resources we have, like the audio. I mean, grab these things. What we're sharing is all these little tricks and tips and strategies and proven principles and practices that just work. And they've worked for millions of people around the world, but there's billions of people who don't know about them. And so they struggle unnecessarily. So make those tweaks my friends.

Learn, study, practice. If you're ready to seriously level up and thrive and serve at the next level, consider getting into coaching. It's the way to just say, hey, you know what, it's time. Yeah, it's a sacrifice. It's an investment. And by the way, the number one thing you should always invest in is yourself, your improvement. And then watch, watch what happens when the weight becomes wings and the flow.

starts to happen because the kinks are removed. it's awesome. Okay, love you guys. Awesome's always an option. Reach upward.

Rachel Denning (18:43.661)
Hey everybody, thanks so much for listening to this episode. I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply to your life right away. Hey, I'm being totally sincere when I say I live to help you live your extraordinary life. So I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life. And in fact, you know, this podcast is brought to you by the School of Awesome Sauce monthly coaching program. Take advantage of that, get in there. It's the -

best way to get a breakthrough to the next level so you can level up your health, your spirituality, your emotions, your mind, your relationships, your finances, business, every part of your life. Just get in there where you have a coach and a mentor, you have a supportive community to make things happen. So jump in there, take advantage of this, try it out, get in there with us and level up your life. See you on the inside. Reach upward.