#58 Eliminate Unnecessary Suffering

Rachel Denning (00:01.166)
Hey my friends, I had a little blunder recently. A couple days ago I was wrestling with my kids. I love wrestling with them. I love being physical with them and playing with them. It's so fun. We had some friends over, wrestling with the kids, wrestling with the friends, had this big sweaty wrestling match. Just had a great time. We were going and playing on the carpet. I was barefoot.

and I kind of jumped and twisted and I caught my big toe on the carpet just right and it twisted, popped it out of socket and just totally tweaked it and mangled it a little bit. And I went down immediately and man did it hurt. it hurt so bad. And I actually injured it like a year, almost a year and a half ago and it just was still kind of weak so that thing just went right out. And I went down.

I hurt so bad. So and I haven't been, you know, we enjoy such great health and I haven't been in that much pain for a long time and man did it hurt. So we called a friend of mine who's a, his surgeon and we said we're pointing to go the next morning and I went over there. Luckily it's totally good. No breaks, nothing. He kind of wiggled it and put it back in place and my friend did the same and we were right when it happened. And so we got it going and just, you know, really.

put some strain and stress on the tendons and ligaments and the joint, but all is good. All is good. It's going to heal. It's just going to take several weeks of not bending that joint. So I am hobbling around, just limping so hard, getting all this stuff done. But here's the reason. The reason I want to share this is it reminded me of some incredible life lessons that we forget about.

Can you hear that train in the distance? I'm standing outside. It's a perfect Texas night. Stars are out. it's heavenly. But I wanted to share these lessons that I was reminded of. Number one, the pain was so distracting. my goodness, the pain is so distracting. I'm trying to focus on work and trying to focus on study and trying to focus on family.

Rachel Denning (02:26.974)
man, that train is really going... This is awesome. But you can't when there's pain like that in your life. It is so... And when there's a train in the background of the podcast, it's hard to pay attention and focus, right? my goodness, this is crazy. But it's so tough to focus, to pay attention. It's almost impossible.

And as I'm trying to focus there, as I'm trying to do my work, as I'm trying to do my studying, as I'm trying to engage with my wife and my kids, as I'm trying to just feel alive, it's fascinating that it kept just drawing my attention away, drawing my attention away. And no matter how much effort I put into focusing, it just kept drawing my attention away.

And I thought, man, what a great life lesson right there. That often we have pains in our bodies or in our minds or in our emotions, in our hearts, in our spirits, in our relationships, in our finances, like whatever, all of that.

And it's so distracting. You get what I'm saying? You see the connection there? And a lot of us, it's interesting, we'll get into pain, we'll be in these painful situations, and we won't even know, we can't clearly articulate or recognize what's happening and how it's distracting us and pulling away our focus and keeping us from really engaging in other things. One of my awesome coaching clients, I love this guy so much.

He had this huge awakening this week as we're going through his coaching journey together that he had stopped chasing his dreams and it had created this pain deep inside of him that he wasn't pursuing his dreams. He was just going along, being successful in family and successful in business, but he stopped chasing a dream and he created some pain deep inside. And when we started working together, he's like, yeah, I just feel frustrated about this and frustrated about that and frustrated about that. And what it was, when it all eventually came out, it's like, man,

Rachel Denning (04:50.734)
I just felt this pain inside because I haven't been chasing my dreams. I haven't felt really alive. Right. And I come across that all the time because every one of us, including myself, we'll go through periods like that when you're not chasing your dreams and you feel like you're just existing. Like you're just, you're just going through the motions of living. But I want you to think right now, just take an honest evaluation of self -examination today. What pains are in your life right now?

that are distracting you, that just keep constantly pulling your attention away from working on other things and really engaging and being present and feeling joyful. It's robbing you from having that spring in your step and the joy in your life. Are you waking up to pain and that it's with you all day and you just can't wait to go back to bed and maybe even robs you of your sleep? What is it? Write it down, identify it.

I suspect, this is a pretty bold statement here, I'm gonna go with it. All working with people for so many years all around the world, I'm gonna roll with this. I suspect that every one of you has some kind of pain that's distracting you. Whether that's physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, financial, whatever, there's some pain and it's distracting. And so the first step is to recognize it.

Some of us will have been experiencing chronic pain. Maybe you've had it your whole life. Some of us are kind of inherit pain at birth because our families are in some kind of pain and they pass it on as generational, whether it's mental or emotional or physical or just some bad habits or mindsets or whatever. And it's chronic pain. It's it seems genetic, but it's definitely familial. It's just.

it's generational and you might have that pain. So first step is, is find out like what's hurting, what's causing the pain and, and get through it and like kind of step away from this. this is the way life is because there's a lot of that attitude. I come across that all the time. Like, this is just the way life is. Everybody's like this. It's just, it's just pain. And what's fascinating is so much of our pain.

Rachel Denning (07:16.462)
In these instances are is self -inflicted and totally unnecessary It doesn't have to be a part of life when I realized that Because I I inherited a lot of pain and I was in tons of chronic pain and When I realized wait a minute. I don't have to carry this with me. This doesn't have to be a part of my life Right. It's it's not it doesn't have to be a thing

Like fighting with your spouse, right? I hear a couple say all the time, well, just fighting is just part of marriage. I'm like, no, it's not. Disagreeing is. I think we all disagree, right? But fighting, no, not at all. And even when people say, why, suffering's part of life, and you're right, there's gonna be some suffering. But misery, misery's optional. And there's all these different things we can alter our mindset. I love it. So identify it.

Get working on it and just figure out the ways that you can remove it from your life. And let me help you. I mean, that's why I'm doing the podcast. That's why I'm, that's why I do coaching. That's why we have our resources and trainings and courses is to get clear on what, what's distracting us. What's preventing us from really living and maximizing our potential. So let me help. I mean, sign up for a coaching session, get in a course, whatever. I mean, this is why we're doing this, right? To help alleviate the pain.

The second big lesson I learned from this happened today. There's been tons of flooding where we are right now. The massive rainstorms, tropical depressions that came in here and just dumped I think as much as 40 or 50 inches in one area. And so it just flooded all these poor, poor, what I mean is these poor families are, they,

Even just a couple years ago had just gotten nailed by a hurricane and now they got this flooding again as poor families. It's just devastating, so sad. So the entire areas are still underwater. Well today, my children and I had the opportunity to go with some friends and with our church congregation to go serve and help. To go, they call it mucking the houses where they go in and they pull out all the, everything that just got ruined, all the sheet rock that got moldy, all the...

Rachel Denning (09:43.31)
the flooring, I mean everything that just got ruined by the floods to go help. And my kids and I were gonna go, I was excited, this was awesome, but I was in so much pain and couldn't walk. I realized that I would be, I would not be very helpful in that situation, because I was just, it hurt even just to stand or to drive. And so I wasn't able to go.

My four oldest kids went and had an incredible experience and were able to make a difference. And I missed out because of my pain. And boom, another life lesson, another great life lesson.

If we don't have our lives in a good position, it literally prevents us from being able to have a greater impact and influence. Now, obviously, don't misunderstand me here. I don't want to be misunderstood. It's not that our lives have to be perfect, and it's not that we can't do something even when we're in pain and even when we do have problems. Sometimes...

Sometimes there's tremendous power in helping and serving and loving while we are in pain or having problems. And sometimes the great opportunity there is actually when others can help us and serve us, which happened to me today, right? When we have to receive. I don't know if you're like me though, man. I would rather be on the giving end than the receiving end any day. But go with me here on this principle that if we don't take care of ourselves,

and we don't take care of our lives and we don't live strategically and deliberately to be in a position of power and influence. We literally limit our impact and we limit our influence and we limit, we put our own limitations on potential influence. And I don't know about, I don't know about you, but that.

Rachel Denning (11:54.733)
That to me is serious.

Kind of terrifying.

I want to be able to help people and serve people and love people and influence and impact and any opportunity that I can to make a positive difference in someone else's life. I want to make that difference.

But if I have some pain in my life, in any area of my life, in relationships or spirituality or physical or mental or emotional or financial, whatever, if I have some pain there that could be remedied, that could be taken care of, that's in my circle of influence, and I'm not doing anything about it to alleviate it, to remove it, to empower myself,

that I'm literally like, I'm living in self -sabotage, but I'm, but I'm also preventing my own opportunities to make a difference. Does that make sense? This is powerful to me. I hope I'm articulating it well enough that you're getting the principle here. Like we've, we have so many opportunities and.

Rachel Denning (13:24.429)
So much potential to make a difference. You do. Every one of us does. And sometimes we get in so much pain. And I see this every week. I literally see this every week.

If we're not careful, we can get ourselves into so much pain that we can't even, we actually can become a burden to other people instead of a resource.

and we lose influence in our marriages, in our own family.

I met some parents recently that are in so much pain, the vast majority of which is self -inflicted, that they literally have lost almost all positive influence on their own children.

And you can think of examples of how that's true. Like an addiction can be an example of that, right? Or a really bad habit. If you pick up a bad habit that just tanks you, like just steals your power, and you get caught up in your habit, that thing is just preventing you, it's trapping you, and preventing you from being a great influence even to your own children.

Rachel Denning (14:44.813)
and then even beyond that to friends and neighbors and community and people you might have been able to have an impact on. Whoa, man, this is powerful stuff. But I just wanted to share that tonight, you guys. Love you, I want you to be happy and energized and alive and excited. I want you to be as pain free as possible. And yes, there's gonna be pain that pops up in life and there's gonna be, you know, life is our, it's our clinicals, right?

It's our, it's our proving grounds and testing ground. We're going to have that. But, but so many of our problems are self -inflicted and are easily within our control to remedy, just to tweak here and be more intentional and strategic there. And we can literally remove these little roadblocks to get in our way so we can focus on the big roadblocks that are just there and we can wrestle with those and build character and grow and expand. But most of us are tripped up by.

little self -inflicted pains that are distracting us and keeping us from influencing others. So let's get serious my friends. Let's get serious about it. It's time to invest in yourself. Invest in your education. Invest in your development, your growth. Invest in learning and getting the resources and tools because that's the coolest part about all this and the most exciting thing about personal development and growth and human performance is that

Anybody can do this. Everybody can. You can do this. It's you just have to have the tools and resources and just make it happen. So let me know if there's any way I can help. Let me know and share this. Share this message. Share this podcast. Share other messages or videos. Let's let's get this out there and make a difference in the world so we can all be living at our very best and living lives that are just a blast. There's absolutely fun and exciting and powerful and influential. I love this stuff.

So visit gregdending .com and pass this along, jump in, leave comments, shoot me messages, you know, check out the videos. Let me know how I can help. Let's get out and live great lives. Let's eliminate the pain so we can have more focus and more influence. Love you guys. Awesome is always an option. Reach upward.

Rachel Denning (17:06.861)
Hey everybody, thanks so much for listening to this episode. I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply to your life right away. Hey, I'm being totally sincere when I say I live to help you live your extraordinary life. So I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life. And in fact, you know, this, this podcast is brought to you by the school of awesome sauce monthly coaching program. Take advantage of that. Get in there. If it's the,

best way to get a breakthrough to the next level so you can level up your health, your spirituality, your emotions, your mind, your relationships, your finances, business, every part of your life. Just get in there where you have a coach and a mentor, you have a supportive community to make things happen. So jump in there, take advantage of this, try it out, get in there with us and level up your life. See you on the inside. Reach upward.