#65 Little Vices, Massive Consequences

Rachel Denning (00:00.846)
Hey guys, good morning. man, it's another great day to be alive. I got to share something really quick that just made me feel so happy and so humbled. I got a long email from one of you listeners and just with some heartfelt thanks.

story of what you're facing and going through and man, wow, so touching and so powerful that man, it just makes you feel so good to know that this, what I'm sharing here and I'm you guys I'm sharing it with so much love and and trying to share the best I can acknowledging that you're often facing crazy challenges and trials and difficulties. Some of you are trying to overcome addictions and

overcome trauma from the past, you're facing serious challenges. And man, I want you to know that I think about you. And I'm working to do all I can to share lessons and principles that have totally transformed my life and that have helped so many others. And so I'm here for you. I'm helping. I'm cheering you on. If you ever have questions or

you know, challenges that you're struggling with, you want me to talk about and teach about and train about, shoot me an email. Go to my website, gregdany .com, shoot me an email, shoot me a message on social media, like, just let me know how I can help. But man, this email just said, it was so touching, and I just felt so humbled and so honored that listening to this email has been such a huge help in overcoming challenges and addictions.

I just, it feels fantastic. So I love you guys, love who you are and your intentionality to become your best self and live life at your very best. I love that. I love it. So I honor you, honor you and praise you and encourage you to keep going, keep fighting, keep your head up and keep working to make every aspect of your life better, holistically, right? Remember we're in this holistically, the whole package.

Rachel Denning (02:22.126)
physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and financial. I mean, all of it. It's a whole package of trying to be our best selves. Love it. Love you guys. Keep this up and keep going. All right, you ready? Let's dive in here and get going in this. Years ago, several years ago, we were living on an organic farm in the rainforest of Costa Rica, just up from the ocean.

And we had these, it was heaven you guys, can you picture it? Like those huge leaves on those trees, right? And everything's green and beautiful and there were toucans and macaws and parrots and quadimundis and every other kind of critter and...

Man, one time there was a huge snake. man, it was awesome. It was just the coolest stuff. And we had this, we had these two big greenhouses that were just chuck full of organic.

you know, fresh vegetables and greens that we could just eat from and it was heavenly. Well, we would always go out walking and exploring with the kids. It was so fun. And they just had kind of free range to run acres of land, hills and ponds and trees to climb and fruit to eat. There was just fruit growing everywhere. The little leachies and the, that was the first time I ever tried a mangosteen. And that is my all time favorite fruit.

We were living there, and I had a mangosteen tree, and I'm like, what's this? And picked one up and ate it, and was like, hallelujah. It was, holy guacamole, it's so good. If you've never had a mangosteen, you have something to look forward to. They're incredible. We had mango trees, and my goodness, breadfruit. There was everything on there. It was so fun, so exciting. But we went out exploring one day, and I'd heard about this, this old building, this old house that had been abandoned.

Rachel Denning (04:28.43)
And I wanted to go check it out and it was, it was a beautiful, unique structure. the architecture in there was incredible. It was, it was completely round. So it's just like a huge round, house almost like if you, if you watch star wars, almost like the millennial Falcon, like this, just this massive house and with this view overlooking the mountains, these rainforest mountains out all the way out to the ocean, had a view of the ocean from this hillside and

just a stunning setting and the bottom floor was completely open so the breeze would come up off the ocean. It was incredible. But I knew it had been abandoned and it was kind of rotten and dilapidated. Am I saying that right? And so I went over there, but I wanted to explore and I told my kids not to go over there because I realized like the floorboards were kind of missing and there was holes in pockets, but I wanted to check it out. So I went in there cautiously.

and I was kind of stepping around the boards and I wanted to go upstairs. And so there was one main post, almost like the mast of a ship. It was huge, this huge tree post that was in the middle of the structure, basically the framework for the entire rest of the house. Everything was hanging, hinging on this thing, right? It was all supported by it. And I went up there and I kind of lost my balance kind of stepping around floorboards that were missing.

and I reached over to support my hand on that main mast, right? And my hand went through it, just, I kind of grabbed for it and my thumb and fingers went in, just crushed. And I realized at that moment the severity of the termite problem that had destroyed this house. Now I think I told you guys this story about that house before in another podcast.

But it blew me away and what happened, it was the neglect of the owners. They would come and go, but they never did anything about it. People had warned them, hey, beware of this, yeah, yeah, we'll get to all this. And people told him, you gotta be careful with this, you gotta do some preventative measures, some maintenance, you gotta keep this up or the termites will eat it. And they didn't pay attention to that. They didn't, you know.

Rachel Denning (06:56.078)
heed the warning because it's just a little termite right just these teeny little bugs teeny little bugs what could they possibly do this big beautiful home the entire house made of wood and of course eventually they literally ate the entire thing and this gorgeous setting this gorgeous expensive home was eaten.

one little bug, one little bug bite at a time. And I wanted to tell you that story and let us sink in for all of us, because I don't know if you're like me, if you've ever kind of caught yourself thinking that the little things don't matter, that the little things don't make that much of a difference. Have you ever caught yourself thinking that? Kind of justifying, rationalizing, either one side or the other.

doing a small good habit won't really make that much of a positive difference or that a negative little habit won't have that much of a negative effect. You ever done that before? I know I have. I know I've caught myself like, come on. And I just let it slide, right? What's the big deal? And what's interesting is that's even gotten ingrained in us socially, where we literally go around telling people like, it's not a big deal. don't be so.

Don't be such a fanatic, right? We actually label people who are, they're disciplined and they're paying attention to details and they're, you know, they're actually trying to do all the little things. don't be, don't be so fanatic. Lighten up a little bit, enjoy, you know, life's meant to be enjoyed, not endured. And we literally are going around socially telling ourselves and telling others, trying to convince them that paying attention to the small details, the little things.

is foolish or fanatical or you know it's not really living. Now I'm not talking about being you know OCD which is a real thing. There is a real disorder of losing your mental and emotional health and your life health by becoming over focused. We're not talking about that.

Rachel Denning (09:20.334)
But we're also, you know, we're going to try to find this this middle ground of not being, not becoming obsessive about it. Although a little bit obsessive, I'm going to say I'm going to encourage a little bit of obsessiveness here because for the most part, for most of us, it's just being too casual. It's being too casual. And you guys, when we're casual, it leads to casualty. Just like with the house, right? They were casual.

with these little bugs. But those little bugs add up one bug bite at a time and chewed through that beautiful house. And it does, it makes a gigantic difference in our lives. So again, on both sides of the spectrum, right? The little negative things that chew us up and eventually eat apart the entire foundation and the little things that we think are so insignificant that we discount them because we think how could that possibly

make a difference in my life. Like I need change now. I need things to be different now. I want, I have big goals and big dreams and I want to, I need big things and how are these little, these little habits going to make a difference? And that my friends is where we get into trouble. Let me read this awesome quote from one of my favorite authors and thinkers, James Allen. And it's in a book called the byways of blessedness.

If you've not read that book, get a hold of it and read it. man, it's so good. I actually read from his full collected works in a book called Mind is the Master. Here's the quote, ready? The foolish man thinks that little faults and little indulgences, that's probably my favorite part right there, the little indulgences, little sins are of no consequence.

So I'm gonna pick this whole thing apart here. The foolish person thinks that little indulgences are of no consequence. He persuades himself or herself, right, that so long as he does not commit flagrant immoralities, that he is virtuous and even holy. See that right there? my gosh, that's so powerful. Like, let that sink in. Have you done that? I know I have.

Rachel Denning (11:48.078)
You persuade yourself that as long as you're not doing the big bad stuff, you know, like so and so or such and such, as long as you're not doing the big things, then you're virtuous, even holy. You see the subtle slyness of that? Like how could a little termite problem possibly destroy this big beautiful house?

See that, let the reality of that sink in. Okay, we continue with the quote. But he is thereby deprived of virtue and holiness. So those two things that we think we are, we actually deprive ourselves because of the little indulgences. And here's the kind of one of the most painful parts. The world knows him accordingly. It does not reverence, adore, and love him.

It passes him by and he is reckoned of no account. His influence is destroyed. Whoa. Whoa. Think of that. Influence is nullified. It's removed. It's stopped. It's destroyed because of the little faults.

the little indulgences, the little sins that we just discount, that we think are of no consequence. It literally, like let this sink in my friends, indulging in the little faults and sins and, you know, indulgences, considering them to be of no consequence, literally removes the power of influence in your life. And please let that sink in in the context of parenting.

your spouse of your extended family members of your co -workers of your your church congregation or whatever group you belong to you let this sink in you and I lose the power of influence when we allow little faults and indulgences

Rachel Denning (14:14.446)
and see them of no consequence. And I know some of you right now are listening is going, come on, you're making a big deal out of this. It's not that big of a deal. I'm telling you, this is this is the James Allen's actual warning. And I want to pass on this warning to myself and to you to remind you guys know this. I'm not, I'm not acting like you don't know this. You and I, we know this, right? But we need to be reminded of it.

The little things make a big difference. And if you feel like you're struggling to have influence with your spouse or your kids or your coworkers or a group you lead or maybe your students or some organization you belong to, if you're trying to have more influence, consider this carefully because James Allen who...

I think is incredibly thoughtful and just brilliant. He's saying you actually, you lose your power, your influence is destroyed when you permit these things. But here, that's, we're not even halfway through the quote yet. Let's keep going. The efforts of such a man or woman to make the world virtuous, his exhortations to his fellow men to abandon great vices are.

empty of substance and barren of fruitage. Whoa. So when we're trying to share a message, when we're trying to be an influencer, when we're trying to have impact, our message is empty of substance. And he's not saying this because of the big things, right? This is what's fascinating, and this is where we get into trouble. It's not about the big things.

It's obvious that you lose your, you know, your message is empty of substance. If you're, you know, create, you know, in these big flagrant immoralities. I mean, that's, that's obvious to everybody, right? Like, man, you're, you're being totally hypocritical. If you're out there just being totally dishonest, then your message is empty, but he's not saying that he's saying if we have the little things.

Rachel Denning (16:34.286)
in our lives, the little ones that we're like, you know, it really doesn't matter. You get, you guys, this is this hitting home, the home, the little things we said to herself that don't matter. It's those, it's those things that are making our message empty and making us barren of fruit. We continue with the quote, the insignificance, which he attaches to his small vices.

permeates his whole character and is the measure of his manhood or womanhood. He is regarded as an insignificant man. That right there, that line is probably that's it. And it's right in the middle of this paragraph like that just hits home. I'm gonna read it again and let it let this let this hit home here for you and for me.

The insignificance which he attaches to his small vices permeates his whole character and is the measure of his manhood.

Rachel Denning (17:50.638)
And so I want to ask, and the reason I'm sharing this, I just got so excited rereading it again this morning.

And I wanna invite you to consider with me, I'm doing this as well, I want you to consider with me.

Rachel Denning (18:08.878)
What are the small vices that we are deeming as insignificant that are permeating our entire character in the measure of our manhood or womanhood?

It's the little, and I'm hesitant to even mention them, because I just want you to think through, what are the little things you're tolerating? And here's what's so dangerous and challenging about this, is they may not even come to your mind right now, because you attach so much insignificance to them. We don't even consider them, because we're like, no, that doesn't come up, because that doesn't even make a difference. But it does! That's what he's saying.

That's literally what he's telling us and warning us. It does matter. So I guess what I'm asking you to consider is what are the things you think don't matter that actually do?

Rachel Denning (19:07.214)
What are the things in your life that you think don't matter, but actually do? And what's interesting is you and I, we actually can see them in others a lot easier than we can see them in ourselves. You ever done that? We were sitting out somewhere. I love to watch people, because I learn so much, both good and bad. I learn so much from watching people. And you can see their interactions with each other and with their kids. And you can spot it and go, whoa, that's...

That's not working, right? And we take away lessons from it and instead of sitting there and judging, just say, okay, well, that doesn't seem to work. I'm not gonna do that myself. And so we can learn lots of lessons. But we often miss it in ourselves. So what are the small vices?

that are causing problems and because we attach so much insignificance, it permeates our entire character just like the termites, permeating the structure and ruining it. Let's continue with the quote. The levity with which he commits his errors and publishes his weakness comes back to him in the form of neglect and loss of influence and respect.

So it's the law of karma here, but operating interestingly and uniquely in the levity. Like we don't take it serious. So that levity with which we commit our errors and publish our weakness, like whatever, and we even talk about it. I don't do that. We kind of take on this little identity of like yeah, I'm not the goody goody and I'm kind of cool like that. And.

And we almost flaunt this little favorite sin or weakness or indulgence, right? man, is this hitting home for you guys? But it comes back in the form of neglect and loss of influence and respect. He is not sought after. For who will seek to be taught of folly? His work does not prosper. For who...

Rachel Denning (21:24.141)
will lean upon a reed.

His words fall upon deaf ears, for they are void of practice, wisdom, and experience. And who will go after an echo?

Whaaaa -

Wow, right? When we allow ourselves the little indulgences. And sometimes you guys, I don't know, again, I don't want to be fanatical here. I don't want to be extreme. But for most of us, we need to level up a bit. Can I say that with love and kindness? For most of us, we have some serious leveling up to do.

And it's not in the huge things. Some of us need to work on the huge things. But for most of us, it's in the small things. We need to level up and not tolerate.

Rachel Denning (22:30.157)
and allow ourselves the little indulgences and the little vices. And likewise, to the positive side, we need to level up and be more consistent and more disciplined and determined in the little positive habits whose accumulative effect is massive.

that's where we need to step it up. Right, because wise people realize that the little indulgences and little sins deteriorate the whole character like the termites did to the house. And the wise person also acknowledges that the little positive habits done consistently and well over a long time are the determining factor in the outcomes of life.

So, well, and he says here, you know, later on, he's like, look, it's the ocean is composed of drops. The earth is composed of grains. Right? Life is composed of thoughts and acts. It's all these little things put together that make the biggest difference. It's huge. It's massive. So my message today is brief and hopefully powerful for you. This is hitting home. Like, what are the things?

that you, and where this matters to you the most, my friends, is where you think it doesn't.

And where it matters for me is where I think it doesn't. That's the message here. Because we could talk about the little things all day long, but the real message is the little things that you personally, individually think, that doesn't matter, but it actually does.

Rachel Denning (24:19.309)
So what are those things? Get clear, ask somebody else. Sign up for a coaching session with me and we can talk about them or ask your spouse, read more, like get this in your head. Like what are the things that you have been convincing yourself and a lot of you, you know this, if we were in a little coaching session right now, it'd be like, hey, what do you know you need to change? What have you been letting slide? And.

it's, it's gonna be different for each of us. It might be this subtle little we've kind of persuaded, we justify, we rationalize, it might have something to do with TV or video games, or might be foul language, or consuming, putting something in your body that you know is not good for it, but you're like, you keep saying, it's not that bad. Well, is it that good? Right? It might be that subtle of like,

Okay, it's maybe it is neutral. Maybe it genuinely is neutral. It's not it's something that's not bad for you. But in order to level up, we say but is it but is it good for me? Whatever this thing is, if it may not be the bad, but is it good? And I'm gonna throw this out there to you guys. It may be something that's good. That's getting the way of something better. Or even

best? Is it the best thing? Now again, we're not going to be constantly stressing, is this the best thing? Is this the best thing? Because then we're fretting and we can fret ourselves to death. We're not going there, but we are going to be more diligent, more disciplined, more determined because what we do matters. What you do each day matters. This is your life. It's your kid's life. You're establishing things for your grandkids actually.

Like, so it matters. Like, today is your life. Don't ever discount that. Today is your life. So often we think, you know, life, and we think it's some elusive other big event or whatever. Like, it's today. Today's your life. Today counts. And what you do today counts. What you do in the morning counts. What you do in the midday counts. What you do in the evening counts. The way you sleep at night counts. Like, the little things count.

Rachel Denning (26:46.349)
So take an exam, pause, examine the little things that you have been discounting, that you've been approaching with levity.

Whoa, and make a commitment. And share them with us. Shoot me a message.

share. Like let's let's and and share this share this podcast. Share this episode with others. If you know if you know somebody who needs this take a screenshot of it wherever it is. Tag me in it and share it. Like people if you like if you know someone that that would benefit from this if you think think of your loved ones.

and how this would make a difference in their lives as it makes a difference in yours. You guys, we're gonna lead out my example here, that's what he's saying. But think of the people you love and how taking a different approach to the little things can make such a big difference. So let's get out, let's make it happen, you guys. Awesome's always an option. Let's reach upward in the little things.

and let them make a big difference. Reach upward.

Rachel Denning (28:05.837)
you

Rachel Denning (28:12.941)
Hey everybody, thanks so much for listening to this episode. I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply to your life right away. Hey, I'm being totally sincere when I say I live to help you live your extraordinary life. So I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life. And in fact, you know, this podcast is brought to you by the School of Awesome Sauce monthly coaching program. Take advantage of that, get in there. It's the -

best way to get a breakthrough to the next level so you can level up your health, your spirituality, your emotions, your mind, your relationships, your finances, business, every part of your life. Just get in there where you have a coach and a mentor, you have a supportive community to make things happen. So jump in there, take advantage of this, try it out, get in there with us and level up your life. See you on the inside. Reach upward.