#73 Living With The Power of Gratitude

Rachel Denning (00:00.686)
Hey my friends, welcome to another episode of the Extraordinary Family Life podcast. I'm so grateful for you guys. I genuinely, sincerely am. I love you, appreciate you, and I honor you for making the time to listen and for being a part of our community and our tribe. Even if I don't know you personally yet, hope I get to meet you somewhere around the world or some great adventure.

We're going to do more live events. We're going to do retreats and trainings for couples. And you, you guys, we have our couples retreat coming up to Thailand over Valentine's. You need to go with us on that trip. It is going to be life changing. Awesome. Epic adventures, great discussions, training, coaching on marriage and parenting and life. And just the friendship and the bonding. man. Great food, great fun, great friends.

Doesn't get better than that. It's awesome. So excited for that. But today I'm going to, I'm going to dive into something that, it often gets overlooked except of course around Thanksgiving, which is the living in the power of gratitude. And I was going to do this before Thanksgiving, but, around Thanksgiving, everyone's talking about great gratitude and they're thinking about gratitude, which is awesome. And of course it brings up all those good feelings and those.

good associations and good memories and it brings up all the benefits of gratitude, it's afterwards. And unfortunately, in our very commercialized society, it's immediately afterwards that we forget, we drop gratitude and go after more and more and more what we don't have and people actually go out and treat each other horribly even the day after. And now I've noticed all the marketing has started, you know, they keep moving it up. It went from the next day to...

you know, starting at midnight and now they're starting the evening of Thanksgiving. They start their cells and commercializing everything. And it's, it's in, we get, when we get back into the grind of things, you know, you get back, you get going again, like, back to work, back to the grind, back to the day to day, back to the, some of the mundane things, the frustrating things, the irritations, right? That's when it's, that's when we most need the power of gratitude in our lives.

Rachel Denning (02:19.182)
It's interesting in this wonderful work that I get to do. It's such a gigantic privilege to work with you and to work with wonderful people like you and to help you stir up motivation and inspiration and drive and ambition and get the habits and the mindset in place to totally transform your life, to live your life the way you want to live. Can you picture that with me? Can you see it?

Can you literally see the scenes of your future life?

I want you to practice doing that. See it every day. I do, I do that as part of my morning ritual. I literally, and I did this morning, early this morning, rewrote my most important goals and objectives as though they've already happened. I look at my philosophy journal, I can see myself and I look at my vision board, right? And I can see myself living out those things. And I've been doing that for years and that's how I create the life that I want to live. And I want you to see that. I want you to feel that.

See yourself in those future scenes, living the kind of life you want to live. It's powerful and it's exciting. That's kind of work I get to do. And so I'm constantly considering and I have for years and years and years, how do you motivate people? How do you, how do you get people going? How do you get, how do we get ourselves and how do we get others to do the things we know we should do? Right. It's actually getting them done and what I have discovered and found across.

in my own experience, in experiences working with thousands of people around the world and in studying the greatest thinkers and leaders and philosophers of all time is that gratitude is one of the most motivating forces on earth. It is powerful. And most people don't think that, they don't consider that. It's like, what would really drive me, what would motivate me, what would help me get things done? They don't think, it's gratitude. Let me give you an example.

Rachel Denning (04:22.67)
If we are deeply, I mean crazy, super grateful, like it just, it consumes us. If we're that grateful for our bodies, how are we going to treat them? And of course the answer is, man, we're going to eat well and we're going to exercise and we're going to take care of our body because we are so grateful for it. You find people who almost die, like they have a near death experience or

They go in and the doctor says look if you don't change things you're gonna die like you know you get you have a heart attack or or you Just something happens like you if you don't change your health You're gonna die and all of a sudden you have this intense gratitude Because you've been you realize you've been taking things for granted right or you almost lose a family member like we have in our in our car accident story if you listen to beginning podcast the the car accident we had in Alaska almost lost a child and

man, that changes things, right? When, when you have that kind of gratitude, it changes everything. When you are so grateful for your spouse, like unbelievably grateful, even when they do annoying things, you'll just, you'll overlook it. And even when there's some frustration and some friction, you'll work through it. And when you have to forgive, you'll do it. And when you have to ask for forgiveness, you'll do it.

because you have so much gratitude. But here's the problem, my friends. Most of us roll along through life, not really that grateful. We're like, yeah, I'm grateful for that. I'm thankful. And when people ask you what you're grateful for, you're like, I'm grateful for my friends, grateful for my family, grateful for life. But we're not letting gratitude permeate us. Like it's not the driving force that it could be. We're just kind of grateful.

But I want to challenge you and invite you with me to be what I call being giddy with gratitude. Giddy with gratitude, like you got a spring in your step. You kind of wiggle and shake. You know what I'm talking about? You're like, you're having a hard time containing it because you are so grateful. Let me tell you some stories. And I've shared these stories before. I'm going to re -illustrate them again because they make such a difference. There was a man who got thrown into prison.

Rachel Denning (06:49.038)
He knew he was innocent. They knew he was innocent. It was actually a racial thing in this in the late 60s They threw him in prison something went down in the town. They grabbed him threw him in prison They said hey somebody's got to go down for this and he was innocent And he was in prison for 30 years you guys 30 years There's more details to this story how he had a transformation in there and he started helping The other inmates and then he started helping the other the prison guards and he became like a coach and a mentor and a friend

and a counselor to him and they kept asking like, we got to get this to the courts to get him out of here. And eventually he went back to the court and the courts ruled it out like he was innocent. They let him out. And he got on all the major news networks and they're like, aren't you angry? What are you going to do about it? Are you upset? How are you going to... And he's like, no, I'm not. They took 30 years of my life. I'm not going to give them another moment of my time. I'm not going to give them another thought.

I am going to be so unbelievably grateful to be free, to be outside of those walls, to look at the stars, to breathe the air, to interact with people. He says, I'm so grateful. Every morning, what soon, and this is what I want to challenge us to do. Every morning, as soon as we wake up, boom, we are exploding with gratitude to be alive.

just for the chance to have another day of life. Because some people did not get that chance today, my friends. If you woke up and you're listening to this and you're listening, it's because you're alive, right? If you're alive and you're listening to this, whoa, we ought to be so crazy grateful for the chance to be alive. Cause some of our brothers and sisters on this planet didn't get that chance this morning. It was done for them.

and we get to be alive. And yes, I know some of you are facing some pretty serious challenges and struggles. I've been there.

Rachel Denning (08:54.03)
And it's hard. It's hard to be grateful. Sometimes you don't want to wake up because it's so bad. I get that. But if we are filled with gratitude just for the chance to be alive, the chance to love somebody, right? The chance to serve somebody, the chance to be a friend to somebody, the chance to learn, the chance to work, the fact that we can, the fact that you're listening to this means you have ears that hear.

And you probably have eyes that see. And you got body parts that work. And maybe you got some body parts that don't work. They're not working real well. I've had some injuries that are affecting me still long term. But we get more grateful for that. and when we're really grateful for our ears and the ability to listen, we listen to good things and we cherish them. And we're really grateful for our eyesight. We look at and watch good things and we cherish them.

Is it what ingratitude looks like my friends is when we take things for granted and we don't really care about what we see and we don't really care about what we hear. We don't really care about the people around us and we kind of take them for granted and we mistreat them and we're not treating them with the deep, deep respect and honor and gratitude that we should be showing to everyone around us that they're in our lives. Right. Even the grumpy boss or the, you know, the kind of honorary coworkers that are difficult to get along with. Are you grateful to have a job?

Picture what it would be like to be unemployed. Whoo. Picture what it would be like to be in solitary confinement or to have nobody else around you to be totally alone and isolated. If you were 100 % alone, you'd be grateful for the people that annoy you because there's just somebody there. You with me? Like giddy with gratitude. What does that look like? It looks like honoring and expressing that gratitude again and again and again. It, it,

We show it. My friends, it's not, I'm kind of ranting here, sorry, if I'm going too fast and going hard, I get so excited about this. It would be hard for you to meet someone who's more grateful than I am. Because in many ways, I've gone without. There were a lot of times when life was hard for me and I went without. And all you gotta do is go without for a while to realize how grateful you are for things. Right?

Rachel Denning (11:21.39)
And once you have those kind of experiences, it changes you. And then you meet people around the world who have little to nothing from the little leprosy colonies in India that I visited to the shanty towns and slums in Casablanca and off the the northwest coast of Africa to the little remote villages.

in Mexico and Nepal. And you go and you meet people who have little or nothing of material things and yet they are filled with gratitude and joy and happiness. So here's what I want you to do my friends with me. Let's express that gratitude all the time. You remember one of my favorite stories in the Bible is when the 10 lepers.

Are there and Jesus heals them they ask him to heal him in the hill and I like The nine of them who went on their way and went off to see the priest they get thrown under the bus a lot I'm I am confident they were so grateful unbelievably Grateful, I'm sure they were so grateful and they probably manifest in the rest of their lives how grateful they were to not have that anymore But one of them went out of his way immediately the others may have sought him out later and thanked him and they were just so excited to run and see the priest and and to go see their families and

I'm sure they were so grateful. But one of them stopped immediately and expressed that gratitude. And we can do the same. It's just a little bit more effort. It's writing that letter to someone who you've never really fully thanked. It's writing a note. And people love notes. They cherish handwritten notes. Every day you could sit down and just write a quick handwritten note. It would take you 30 to 60 seconds each morning as part of your morning routine. Write it to someone that you work with or...

someone you work for or someone that works for you. Or a child. Just a quick note. Let them know how much you thank them. How much you're grateful for them, right? And man. Express it. Give more hugs. More heartfelt touches and handshakes. More eye contact and sincere expressions of thanks and gratitude.

Rachel Denning (13:39.982)
Like let them know you appreciate them. And most people aren't thinking about this. It's gonna catch them off guard. It's gonna feel weird, but I promise it'll sink in. It'll make a difference. Just pause sincerely. You don't have to be awkward or weird about it. Just be like, hey man, I don't say this enough and I really, really am grateful for you and that you're a part of my life. I love that. And what's interesting is it starts to change our relationships. It starts to change our attitude. It starts to change the whole way.

that you and I do.

And here's the coolest thing, they've done so much research on gratitude, you guys, from gratitude journals, and I want you to do this, write down things in the morning you're grateful for and things at night, and don't write down the same thing. Go for weeks without being able to write down the same thing. It'll force you to look for the things you're grateful for in life. And out of the studies, this is what it says. The gratitude improves your health. People who are grateful live longer, they have fewer health complaints, they have more energy, they take better care of their bodies, they sleep better.

Grateful people are more energetic people. Ungrateful people, interestingly, are low energy people. And gratitude improves psychological health, emotional health. People who are grateful have higher self -esteem. They compare less and they compete less. Just in the social competition. It reduces stress. It helps people overcome trauma. I mean, it is awesome! And it literally transforms our lives.

That's huge.

Rachel Denning (15:15.47)
And what's interesting is we'll let little things get in the way. Check this out. I learned this from my son the other day. If the earth were the size of a marble, so picture a little marble, then the moon would be about the size of a pinhead. This is the teeny little dot. And the sun would be about the size of a four and a half foot diameter ball. Okay. So four and a half foot ball, that's a huge beach ball. And the moon is the size of a pinhead.

And yet that little pinhead can block out the light of that huge sun in a solar eclipse. And sometimes we do the same things. We allow very little things, very small things, little annoyances, little inconveniences, something we don't have that we focus on the don't have list. And we allow that to block out the light and the warmth and the motivation of gratitude.

And so with me and my friends, I want you to be giddy with gratitude day in, day out. I want you to let gratitude be a defining power in your life that just radiates from you and through you.

Right? Because it's an energy. Appreciation is actually the highest form of energy and depreciation is the lowest form of energy. Think about that. If you depreciate something or someone, you're lowering the energy in yourself and others and around you. We need to radiate gratitude. Be giddy with gratitude to live with the power of gratitude.

every day and in every way. It is the secret ingredient of motivation. So be grateful. Have some set up, you know, again, write about it, write it down, write it down each morning. Think about your grateful, write notes to people you're grateful for as part of your morning ritual and have some gratitude, like go to thoughts and images. Right. I've had some experiences in my life and had some, you know, met some people and

Rachel Denning (17:37.582)
and experience some things, seeing things around the world that are my go -to. Whenever there's a temptation to be ungrateful or to take things for granted, I have these go -to thoughts and I turn to them immediately and it transforms my perspective. If ever there's a moment where I'm tempted to complain about pain or health or lack or scarcity or you feel complaining about you don't have something in your life or your money problem or...

relationship problem or any kind of frustration. I have go -to thoughts, ideas, and images that I turn to immediately. They give me a reality check that brings back the gratitude. And we can do this consciously. This is a cool thing. At any moment, at any time, you can pause and increase your gratitude. You just do it. You pause for a minute. You just let your heart swell with gratitude. And you focus on the things you're grateful for. And it is so calming.

You can do gratitude meditations. You can do gratitude prayers, where you don't ask for anything, you just give thanks. And you just do gratitude moments where you just pause. Pause every morning at each transition. What am I grateful for here? If you're going into work, if you're going into a meeting, if you're going, you're getting home and there's some frustration, there's hurt, there's some pain. If you're going to meet with somebody and there's a relationship stress or strain, think about what you're grateful for first and focus on that.

Express it and watch what happens my friends watch what happens as it totally transforms our lives when we live with the power of gratitude Again, I am thankful for you. I really am Really am I'm thankful for you and I'm grateful that you're listening and grateful that you're a part of my life And then I can be a small part of yours. Love you guys. Awesome is always an option reach upward

Rachel Denning (19:35.566)
Hey everybody, thanks so much for listening to this episode. I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply to your life right away. Hey, I'm being totally sincere when I say I live to help you live your extraordinary life. So I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life. And in fact, you know, this, this podcast is brought to you by the school of awesome sauce monthly coaching program. Take advantage of that. Get in there. If it's the,

best way to get a breakthrough to the next level so you can level up your health, your spirituality, your emotions, your mind, your relationships, your finances, business, every part of your life. Just get in there where you have a coach and a mentor, you have a supportive community to make things happen. So jump in there, take advantage of this, try it out, get in there with us and level up your life. See you on the inside. Reach upward.