May 12, 2025

How to Stay Close to Your Kids—Even When They Grow Up

Have you ever felt like your kids are growing up faster than you can keep up? Like they’re becoming more independent, but you still want to be part of their lives in a meaningful way? You’re not alone. And here’s the good news: your role as a parent doesn’t end when your child turns 18. It simply evolves. In our latest podcast episode, "#310 The Dark Side of ‘Attachment’ Parenting — Protect a Child’s Free Will & Psychological Safety", we explore why it's not just okay—but healthy—for your adult kids to still seek your guidance. And how that connection, when done right, contributes to their long-term emotional well-being.

From Control to Connection: The Shift That Protects Their Emotional Well-Being

It’s a strange transition, parenting young adults.

They’re technically “grown,” but not really.

They still have questions, still face big decisions, and often—if you’ve built a strong foundation—they want your input.

Not to be controlled.

Not to be directed.

But to be mentored.

And that’s the key.

If we want to stay connected to our children into adulthood, we must make a shift: from being the commander to being the coach. From “because I said so” to “what do you think might happen if you choose that?” And that shift is what preserves influence.

Too many parents lose connection with their adult children because they’ve stopped growing themselves.

They’ve leveled off in life.

When that happens, kids stop coming to them for advice—not out of rebellion, but because there’s nothing new to learn.

Let that sink in: If we’re not leveling up, we’re leveling off. And when we level off, we lose influence.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

We can choose to be parents who are constantly growing—intellectually, emotionally, spiritually—so that we have something of value to offer, at every stage.

That’s how we become lifelong mentors to our kids.

Mentorship Isn’t Control—It’s Connection

One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is recognizing that kids—yes, even at 22 or 29 or 35—want advice.

But only when it’s coming from someone they trust, admire, and respect.

Someone who asks good questions, not someone who lectures.

When we maintain that type of relationship, our kids know that our advice comes from love, not control.

That we’re not trying to live their lives for them, but to offer perspective and guidance from our own hard-won experience.

And that builds deep emotional well-being—not just for them, but for us too.

The Goal Is Lifelong Relationship

We’ve always said that parenting is about raising adults, not just children.

But now we’re seeing what that actually means.

Our oldest kids have lived on their own, worked, even gotten married—and they still come back.

Not out of immaturity, but out of trust.

Because they know we’re still leveling up.

We’re still reading, learning, testing, refining.

We refuse to just get older—we’re getting better.

That’s why they still want our input.

Because we’re still in the game.

And that’s the kind of relationship we’re trying to help you build too—with specific tools, strategies, and parenting skills that evolve as your child grows.

Final Thoughts

This is why we created our Extraordinary Parent Mentoring Method—to equip you with the skills to parent well at every stage, not just when your kids are little. Because parenting doesn't end at 18... and thank goodness it doesn't.

There's so much beauty and connection that comes after.

You can be the parent your kids want to call.

The mentor they turn to when life gets hard.

The anchor they know they can always count on.

But it requires growth—yours, and theirs.

Let’s grow together.