Aug. 19, 2025

How to Actually Enjoy Raising Teenagers

Have you ever felt like your teenager is slipping away from you—like every interaction ends in an argument or eye-roll? You’re not alone. But what if the teen years didn’t have to be stressful, dramatic, or disconnected? In this podcast episode, 6 Things You MUST Do to Raise Responsible, Respectful Teens, Greg and I share why raising teenagers can actually be one of the most fun and fulfilling seasons of family life—and how to make it that way in your home too. (Also, if you haven’t yet, check out How We Raised 7 Well-Adjusted Kids - Without Yelling, Tantrums, Punishments or Power Struggles for the strategies that made it possible.)

Why Raising Teenagers Doesn’t Have to Be Hard

So many parents brace themselves for the teen years as if they are preparing for battle.

They expect rebellion, withdrawal, and constant power struggles.

But here’s the truth—those things are not inevitable.

If your teens are struggling, it’s not because “that’s just how teens are.”

It’s usually a sign that something is off in the parenting strategies being used.

That’s good news, because it means you can do something about it.

The Emotional Bank Account With Your Teen

Think about it this way: if your teen rolls their eyes at every request, or if your relationship feels tense, it’s usually because your “emotional bank account” with them is in overdraft.

Every negative interaction is a withdrawal.

If there aren’t enough positive deposits—time together, listening, respect, fun—it leaves nothing to draw on when you ask them for help or guidance.

This is why authoritarian parenting often backfires.

Sure, you might get temporary obedience—but it costs you the very relationship you’ll depend on for a lifetime.

raising teenagers

Why Strict Parenting Backfires

Strict, control-heavy parenting usually produces rebellion—not respect.

Teens raised under rigid rules often learn to hide their real thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Instead of building trust, it builds distance.

And once that gap widens, it’s hard to repair.

The goal isn’t blind obedience.

The goal is self-directed maturity.

You want your kids to practice making decisions while they’re still at home so that when they’re on their own, they already have strong decision-making “muscles.”