Oct. 13, 2025

How to Help Your Teen Launch Into Adulthood (Without Power Struggles)

Have you ever wondered if your teen will actually make it on their own someday? Not just move out—but really take off? In our latest podcast episode, "#328 Strategies to Help Your Teen Launch Into Adulthood", we talk about what’s causing so many young adults to stall before they ever get off the ground—and how you can prevent failure to launch syndrome in your own home.

We also share how we raised our seven kids to be capable and confident in “How We Raised 7 Well-Adjusted Kids - Without Yelling, Tantrums, Punishments or Power Struggles”, and how you can apply those same principles in your home—starting today.

Why So Many Teens Struggle to Launch

Over the past two decades, Greg and I have worked closely with hundreds of teens.

We’ve seen the same heartbreaking pattern repeat again and again: good kids, full of potential, who simply can’t get going.

They drift.

They avoid responsibility.

They struggle with anxiety or apathy.

And their parents—loving, well-intentioned, exhausted—can’t figure out why.

I’ve felt that worry myself as a mom.

You pour your heart into raising your kids well, and still there’s that little voice that whispers, “Will they actually be okay out there?” It’s a terrifying thought, and it’s one reason so many parents try to soften the world for their kids—to make things easier, smoother, less painful.

But here’s the problem: when we do that too often, we take away the very thing that gives our kids strength.

Struggle.

Challenge.

Responsibility.

We love our children so deeply that we instinctively want to protect them from pain. But growth requires a certain amount of discomfort. If we rescue them too soon, or too often, we unintentionally rob them of the chance to discover what they’re capable of. And over time, that turns into dependency, entitlement, and anxiety—all of which feed into what psychologists are now calling a “failure to launch” epidemic.

The Truth About Responsibility and Happiness

As parents, we have to wake up to this reality: it’s not going to fix itself.

The cultural default is comfort, convenience, and avoidance—and if we don’t deliberately fight against that, our kids will drift right into it.

That’s why teaching responsibility matters so much. It’s not just about chores or grades—it’s about character.

Real happiness and fulfillment come when our kids take on meaningful responsibility—when they do something hard that actually matters.

But let’s be honest—no one naturally wants to do hard things.

Not our kids, and not us either.

So our role as parents is to gently, but firmly, invite our kids into challenges. To help them see that the “hard” is what shapes them into people who can handle life’s unpredictability.

Letting Your Teen Struggle—Without Letting Them Sink

When our teens take on real work—responsibility that stretches them, that impacts others—they gain something far more valuable than comfort.

They gain confidence.

It’s the quiet inner voice that says, “I can handle this.”

That confidence doesn’t come from smooth sailing; it comes from weathering storms and realizing they’re still okay.

That’s why it’s essential to let them struggle, fail, and try again.

When we jump in to fix things too quickly, we send the message that they can’t handle life on their own.

But when we stand beside them—supporting, guiding, encouraging—we show them that they can.

There’s a fine line between supporting and enabling.

And I’ll be honest—every parent crosses it sometimes.

I know I have.

The key is to notice when we’re overstepping and to pull back, to remind ourselves, “I’m not here to make their life easy. I’m here to make them strong.”

“Where There’s Pain, There’s Power”

One of my favorite things Greg says is, “Where there’s pain, there’s power.”

That truth has shaped so much of how we parent.

The moments when our kids have struggled—when things didn’t go their way, when they had to figure something out the hard way—those moments built character.

They gave them courage and emotional resilience that comfort never could.

The irony is that when our kids face meaningful challenges, their anxiety often decreases.

It’s not the stress of doing hard things that breaks them—it’s the emptiness of doing nothing meaningful at all.

When they have purpose, when they see that their efforts matter, so many of their worries begin to fade.

So if your teen seems stuck, start small.

Encourage them to do something that stretches them just a bit.

Let them feel the discomfort of growth.

Celebrate effort over outcome.

And watch their confidence bloom as they realize, “I can do hard things.”

Model What You Want to See

And if you’re not sure where to start—start with yourself.

Model what it looks like to live intentionally.

Get up early.

Take care of your body.

Feed your mind with good books and positive influences.

Pursue goals that scare you a little.

Your kids are watching, and they need to see you choosing growth so they’ll believe it’s worth choosing for themselves.

Launching into adulthood isn’t just about moving out or getting a job. It’s about becoming someone who can contribute, connect, and create meaning in the world. That kind of growth begins long before graduation—it begins in the small daily moments when we let our kids stretch, stumble, and stand back up.

So be their guide.

Cheer them on.

Offer help when it’s needed—but not before.

And remember: the goal isn’t to protect your teen from every challenge. It’s to prepare them to meet those challenges with strength, confidence, and purpose.

Because that’s what it really means to launch.