Aug. 25, 2025

What To Do When Your Husband Has No Sex Drive

Have you ever felt confused, frustrated, or even rejected when your husband shows no sex drive? You’re not alone. Many wives silently struggle with this, wondering if it’s about them—or if something deeper is happening. In our podcast episode, #322 4 Brutally Honest Reasons Your Husband Doesn’t Want Sex, we break down what’s really going on and how to navigate it with compassion and clarity. This post complements and expands on that conversation. And if you haven’t read it yet, you may also find encouragement in How We Raised 7 Well-Adjusted Kids - Without Yelling, Tantrums, Punishments or Power Struggles.

Understanding the Real Reasons Behind No Sex Drive

When intimacy fades, many women assume the worst: maybe he doesn’t love me anymore, maybe I’m not attractive enough, or maybe there’s someone else.

But often, the real culprit is stress.

When men are buried under responsibility, pressure, or financial worry, desire naturally drops.

It’s not that he’s rejecting you—it’s that he’s exhausted.

Physical health plays a bigger role than most couples realize.

Low testosterone, poor sleep, lack of exercise, or other health issues can quietly drain his energy and drive.

Sometimes the solution isn’t about fixing the relationship at all—it’s about supporting healthier habits or encouraging a medical check-up.

Men need emotional safety, too.

If there’s been ongoing conflict, criticism, or just a lack of connection, intimacy may feel forced or even unwelcome.

This doesn’t mean your marriage is broken—it simply means your relationship needs attention in the emotional realm.

When a man feels “less than”—in his career, in his identity, or in his role as a provider—that discouragement often spills over into the bedroom.

Intimacy thrives when he feels strong, purposeful, and valued.

So what can you do when you’re living in a season of no sex drive?

Open the conversation without blame. Instead of, “Why don’t you ever…?” try, “I miss feeling close to you. Can we talk about what’s going on?”
Encourage healthy rhythms. Rest, exercise, and stress management can change everything. What looks like a marriage issue is often a lifestyle issue.
Rebuild connection outside the bedroom. A hand on his shoulder, words of appreciation, or a shared laugh lay the foundation for deeper intimacy.
Get support if needed. Sometimes an outside perspective—whether from a counselor, doctor, or coach—can uncover what you can’t see on your own.