July 10, 2025

How to Create the Life You Really Want for Your Family

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Are you sacrificing family life balance just to keep up with what society says you “should” do? In this episode, we explore how choosing to live deliberately—rather than conforming to traditional expectations around work, school, and success—can lead to a more fulfilling and united family life. We share the hard choices and personal growth required to build a meaningful lifestyle on our terms, one that prioritizes emotional health, connection, and purpose. If you’re ready to rethink what’s “normal” and pursue a better way forward, this episode will give you the clarity and courage to create true family life balance.

Are you living life on your terms—or just checking the boxes of what you're “supposed” to do?

Do you feel like you’re sacrificing your family life balance just to keep up with society’s expectations?

In this episode, we unpack the bold decisions we made to opt out of the “normal” path—traditional jobs, mainstream schooling, and cultural pressure—and how those sacrifices led to a stronger, happier, and more united family.

We’re not promoting selfishness. We’re advocating for intentionality. For living deliberately. For creating a family culture that nurtures emotional health, purpose, and joy.

We talk about the hard choices, the personal growth it required, the sacrifices we made—and why we’d make them all over again.

Whether you’re a parent wondering if there’s another way… or already on the path of designing your own extraordinary life… this episode will inspire you to ask better questions and bravely pursue the life you really want.

🔥 KEY TAKEAWAYS:

✅ It’s not selfish to prioritize your family

✅ Society needs more whole, healthy families—not more conformity

✅ Choosing a harder path often leads to more meaningful outcomes

✅ You don’t need to quit everything—you need to take the next step closer to your ideal

📌 MEMORABLE QUOTES:

🗣 “What do you really want? Now let’s make it happen.”

🗣 “It’s not a lesser path—it’s just a harder one.”

🗣 “The point isn’t ease. The point is meaning.”

🗣 “Stop asking, ‘Can I?’ Start asking, ‘How could I?’”

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to Extraordinary Family Life Podcast

01:01 The Importance of Family and Individual Development

07:16 Challenging Conventional Norms

07:32 Responses to Criticism and Counterarguments

10:14 The Role of Institutions in Family Life

13:05 Designing Your Unique Family Life

16:46 The Impact of Family on Community

17:20 Strategic Parenting for Success

18:03 The Power of Choice in Education

20:19 Taking Ownership of Education

20:49 The Consequences of Choices

21:14 The Harder Path to Fulfillment

22:11 Directing Your Own Life

22:46 Making Sacrifices for Your Children

25:23 Pursuing Your Ideal Life

27:17 Embracing AI and Human Connection
27:53 Finding Meaning in Struggle

RESOURCES:

Let us help you in your extraordinary family life journey.

How We Raised 7 Well-Adjusted Kids - Without Yelling, Tantrums, Punishments or Power Struggles (+ get THE CHECKLIST: Things We Do Every Day to Raise Well-Adjusted Kids)
Rachel’s ⁠⁠Must-Read Booklist for Well-Read Moms⁠⁠
Greg's ⁠⁠Recommended Reading List for Parents & Youth⁠⁠
Follow us on Instagram: ⁠@worldschoolfamily⁠ or ⁠@greg.denning⁠
Get Rachel's ⁠⁠Family Systems & Charts⁠⁠
Join the Do More With Less Stress Workshop Series for busy moms
Become a Founding Member of our Extraordinary Parent Mentoring Method
Join Greg’s 7-Day Challenge
JOIN GREG'S 90-DAY HEALTH & FITNESS CHALLENGE!
Join the Formidable Family Man Masterclass and Tribe
Gather with us at the ⁠World School Family (Beach & Farm) Resort⁠ in Portugal
Read our reviews here: https://podcast.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/reviews/

0:00

Are you actively directing your own life?

It is a key foundational piece for creating an extraordinary family.

If that desire is there, that's fantastic.

You make a step that gets you one step closer to that ideal.

0:15

Would you choose this?

Is this your dream lifestyle?

They don't choose that path because it is harder.

We're we're promoting this higher way of living.

Hey there, this is Greg Denning.

We want to reach as many people as possible and help as many families as possible with these conversations.

0:32

And we want to keep this podcast ad free forever.

You can help us do that by subscribing on Spotify or Apple podcasts or wherever you listen your favorite platform and on YouTube and leave a quick review and and share your favorite episodes with friends and family.

0:47

It makes a big difference.

Thank you for being a part of this very important movement.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the extraordinary Family Life podcast where your host Greg and Rachel Denning.

You guys know this if you've been listening all if you're new and we just highly advocate being unconventional, non conformist and not participating in tribal functions that are anti family like take back control of your life, your work and your education.

1:14

Well, OK, because you said we're highly unconventional, non conformist and I would say in some ways we're not actually I think in some ways we're very traditional.

Ultimately we are very family focused.

We truly believe that the way to improve the world, the way to save the world, the way to be happy is found in individual development and then family development, right.

1:41

So it starts with the individual and then it spreads out from there to the marriage relationship.

You must have a long term intimate relationship and then it spreads out to the family.

And if, if and I, I'm going to say this, if all humans focused on those things in that order, the world would be a better place.

2:00

Like hands down.

That's just true from everything I studied, from psychology to history to sociology, like fill in the blank.

That is the foundation of a healthy, healthy individuals and a healthy society.

So at times, that priority does look like nonconformity.

2:21

It does look like being unconventional, because ultimately our focus is on not just doing the things that you're supposed to do and following the formulas you're supposed to follow.

Yeah, follow them if they work and lead to those end goals.

But if they don't, you have to do something unconventional.

You have to do something different so you can achieve those primary goals.

2:39

Right.

And, and along the way, that may look like to some people may look selfish.

OK, what?

What in the world?

Who do you think you are?

You're just going to abandon society.

You're just going to abandon community because you want to be happy.

That's really selfish.

2:55

We thought that this was important and relevant to discuss on our Extraordinary Family Life podcast because I know it is a key ingredient or a key foundational piece for creating an extraordinary family.

Like you have to be willing to take some of these unconventional steps if it's right for your family to create the higher level, more extraordinary family life that you're after it it is just a part of what has to be done. 100%, I think right out the gates here, we'll just say I wholeheartedly believe that that's actually better for community.

3:34

The world desperately needs individuals and families who are healthy and strong and solid and dependable and lit up, who are pursuing passion and doing work they love and doing it so well.

3:51

Instead of just robotic zombie.

I'm checking the boxes and conforming for the good of society.

That's being responsible just to be responsible.

Yeah, and that's crazy.

Like we would even recommend that people sacrifice their well-being.

4:10

And I know.

For the quote good of the community.

And I don't want this to be construed in the wrong way because we're not promoting the idea of being selfish or being self-centered or not serving or not doing good in the world.

4:28

That's not what we're saying.

But what we are saying, what we do believe and what we do live by is that when you focus on genuine, authentic self improvement, that that's actually how you become more capable of being a force for good in the world.

4:44

Like you really don't have.

Yeah, you have more to offer.

You don't have the ability to really be a good person in the world if you don't do that.

And in fact, one of the main challenges you face with your coaching clients, I think, is people who out of the best intentions, out of the goodness of their heart, they are what we say, neglecting their families so that they can do good in the world.

5:09

They're out serving other people at church or in the community or here.

They're everywhere.

Meanwhile, their family life is falling apart.

Their marriage is struggling, their kids don't listen, are depressed, anxious, you know, threatening suicide.

5:25

Like this is the stuff you deal with on a daily basis.

And your message to them constantly is forget all of that.

Stop going out and trying to do good in the world, come home and do good in your family.

That's the type of selfishness we're talking about.

Because when you do that, you as an individual and your family become stronger, better, more capable to then actually be a force for good in the world.

5:48

That is the foundation of everything we live by and teach and believe.

And our ability to do any good in the world, if we are doing any, is based off that.

We started by focusing on ourselves.

You focused on you, I focused on me.

Then we focused on our marriage and then we focused on our children.

6:05

That's where we started.

And that's build a solid foundation that that makes it possible for us to then be.

And I'm using specifically this phrase, you know, because it means a lot to us, a great force for good in the world.

And we have the opportunity and privilege to honestly do good almost daily, right?

6:20

Like we're engaged because we're philanthropists at heart.

But it all started and we've heard this many times over the years is like when you when you pursue personal development and self improvement, Some people say, well, that's selfish.

You're being selfie, you're spending more time yourself.

6:36

Say that to us even recently.

Like, wait a minute.

If if I just, I'm like, I'm just gonna give all my time and effort and I'm just giving to give, give you a good give.

And obviously you can't do.

That's impossible.

And so it's like that.

But it's this idea we have, like, no, I need to spend my time with us.

Like, what do you have to offer?

6:51

Like you have very little knowledge, very little, very few skills.

You hardly even understand humanity or yourself.

You don't understand psychology.

You don't understand the sexes, Like, hardly.

Like, what are you offering?

Yeah, you're, there's not much of you.

And so this quote selfish approach to work harder on yourself than you do on anything else enables you to then have something of real value to offer.

7:18

And you can do more and more good exponentially by, like you're saying, focusing on yourself and on your family so that you're solid and dependable and capable to do good.

Exactly.

We had to work really, really hard to make it our reality and it is our reality now.

7:37

If people are new and they don't know, my mom jokes she's like, I don't know anyone that spends more time together than your family.

Like you're basically together 24/7, 365 days a year.

And that's not 100% true because we take trips and go away and stuff.

We spend every day, most all day long together at least in the same space, and that's very unique.

8:02

We work from home, our kids do school from home, We work on projects together.

Like we spend lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of time together and we love it.

But we serve together and we adventure together.

Exactly right.

We travel together.

We, you know, and so we do all these things together.

8:21

But it didn't just happen that way.

We didn't just start out that way.

You had a normal job.

You went to work every day.

I stayed home as soon as we adopted our first.

And so we spent a lot of time apart originally because that was, that's what's normal, right?

8:38

Like people are saying, that's the normal thing.

And so we started out living a very normal life and we only have the life we do now.

That also has included traveling to, for me, 60 countries with our kids.

We had to make it happen.

We had to work hard to make it happen.

8:53

First hand experience.

We know it's created a stronger, better, happier family unit than we would have we would have otherwise.

Absolutely.

Obviously people start wondering, well, like, OK, well, not everyone can just travel and not everyone can work online, which is part of the argument, right?

9:11

And just I'll do virtual work, which is obviously true.

Yeah, and I guess when, when we, when we're sharing ideas, especially.

Kind of.

Conventional ideas.

We're really talking to a small group of people who are even willing to think differently, to live differently to to question things, and who are capable of or want to become capable.

9:38

And I don't want this to sound rude or mean, but traveling extensively to dozens of country and working thousands and thousands of people, there are a lot of people that just aren't capable of much else of, of doing different things, right?

9:58

They've for whatever reason, and there's lots of reasons, but for whatever reason, there's there's a lot of people just they're just going to live a very simple.

Normal.

Structured Life and and they they need that.

And that's OK.

Yep, totally OK.

10:14

OK.

I just wanted to mention something I was actually thinking about this morning and to point this out because despite the fact what I just said, that we love that we live this, we believe in this, Yeah, we're sharing this and we're passionate about it.

But it is for a certain set of people who are ready to take that on or to live at this.

10:33

And I do want to say a higher way of living because it's it is more work, it's more effort, but it's also more reward.

And there are certain people who are ready for that.

And that's who this podcast is for.

Right.

It's and honestly, it's, it's going to be less than 2% of people.

Yeah.

But the same.

Is true for if you're saying, hey, look, we should be in absolutely fantastic shape.

10:54

We should be working out, exercising, eating, you know, the best quality food we can get.

That's also to like less than 2% of people.

And we are all constantly saying, look, you should be reading all the time and listening to books all the time.

11:09

Now I've averaged a book a week for over 2 decades.

I'm going to promote that like crazy.

Read, read, read, listen to books.

But guess what?

That's also to about less than 2% of people.

And if we do this big post about, hey, you should be reading tons of book, nobody's like, well, what about la, la, la, whatever.

11:28

It's like, no, it's the same message we're we're promoting this higher way of living, pursuing a world class education, striving to become wealthy and healthy and genuinely happy and pursuing your unique abilities and making a unique contribution to the world that it is transformative for the people within your circle of influence.

11:54

This is this is a, it's a message that's not for 8 billion people.

But at the same time, I think it's interesting that there is still a kernel or a principle within that that is true for everybody.

It's like, OK, here's a higher level, but none of us are going to argue and say, well, spending more time together as a family is not.

12:16

Good.

Well think through this, think through every aspect of your family life and what you're doing and why and do you want to join the what we call the 1.7% club?

They found out you know 1.7% of people are actively engaged in making their lives better.

It means 98.3% of people are just existing so.

12:33

If we take this idea then and we say well then who are we actually talking to?

OK.

We are talking to parents with children and most likely out of necessity, parents who are married with children, right, Because it's going to be a different scenario for single parents or what not.

12:57

But still.

But but even within that, it would still only necessarily apply potentially to parents who are raising children during the child raising years before and after that, it would look different.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

So, So what are we really talking about?

13:13

We're talking about while you are actively raising children, this should be forefront.

This should be the priority in your life while you're actively raising especially young children.

And, and we're talking to I think primarily people who want to maximize their own potential and their kids and they want to live and design their own unique, extraordinary family life.

13:39

People who have the desire to to live at a bit like this, calling this, this inner upward reach that we always talk about to be their, their very best.

Not everybody has that.

Not everybody even acknowledges it or goes for it.

And not everybody even wants it.

They were just rather many people, unfortunately, sadly, would just rather acquiesce and settle because all that requires effort.

14:03

I'm out.

Just I want a simple existence.

So we're trying people who want it and who either have the capability and resources to do it or have the desire to gain the capabilities and resources to do it.

And I hope those of you who are listening are in that group.

14:20

I'm pretty confident you are.

You are.

Yeah, I know you're listening to this, but I guess the invitation today is we're kind of we're inviting you to consider this, to really chew on it.

Which camp are you in?

Basically?

Well.

What are you going to do individually?

14:35

Our bold declaration to everybody listening is yes, 100% stop participating in any kind of institutional thing that is anti family at all.

Stop stop stop stop.

14:51

Get away from that stuff and be deliberate about doing life on your terms.

Now, as soon as I say that sounds selfish, but if you do life on your terms, and if this small group of people we're talking to truly decides to do life on their terms, they're actually going to be a greater asset to community and society.

15:08

Right, a far greater.

Asset than they would be otherwise.

And depending on the person, again, because you coach people and it's not like when you're coaching people, you're telling your clients, oh hey, quit your job and become a life coach like me and work from home like that's the best way to be happy.

You've never told anyone that.

15:23

Nope.

And not.

Not a single one of my clients ever asked.

Exactly what you are doing with them is working with their unique situation, their unique career about how can you optimize this so that you can maximize time with spouse, time with family and life fulfillment?

15:41

That's a really great point because and I always lead with questions.

I'm like, what is it you truly want for your marriage, for your children, for your family legacy?

And then we move beyond that for your clients or patients, for the community.

How do you want to make a difference?

15:57

And I always start with questions and, and some have some clarity about what they want.

Many don't, they haven't really given enough thought.

So we spend some time working through that.

It's like, what is it you really, truly want?

And when we clear out all the distractions, everything you get to this course like this is what I want.

16:13

And then it almost immediately they're like, but that seems impossible.

Like, how's that even likely?

What's the point?

What's the point of sitting here dreaming about what I really want for my family because it just won't work.

And then that's where I'd step in with my unique skill set of like, well, no, this, this is how we make it work.

16:29

It's totally doable.

Initially it might seem like it won't work out.

They're like, no, there's, there's absolutely a way to make that a reality.

And so that's what we're doing.

And that's kind of the invitation I'm making to you is like, what is it you truly want?

Then let's figure out ways to make it happen.

And it's if it's done well, I, gosh, I just have to shout this from the rooftops here.

16:50

If it's done well, it's not detrimental to community at all.

In fact, it's the opposite.

You're better, happier, healthier, your children, your marriage and your children, your family is better, happier, healthier, and you all now have this overflowing of strength and goodness to spread your community.

17:11

It's better for the community if we're all happier, healthier, and doing work we love.

Yes, and doing it really well because we love it.

I guarantee there's some people thinking, well, OK, well, this is just such a privileged podcast.

And because you and I happen to be white, it might just come across as a white privileged podcast.

17:31

And I think it's important to point out that you and I both grew up in and families that struggled financially.

My family was on welfare like we I remember too food stamps as as a kid.

You and I were on welfare at a point, yeah.

We were absolutely broke and we went through the school system.

17:49

Then I went to college to get the degree.

I was following the conveyor belt path.

And you know, we, we went along that I was out on my own as a teen.

Like we, we were broke and ignorant and, and didn't have any.

I didn't know any of this stuff, but I started reading voraciously.

18:05

And the more you read, the more you get education, the more you get exposure, the more you realize what's available.

And then once you realize there's more available, my invitation to everybody listening is like, learn what's available and start choosing.

Yes.

Choose from the options instead of feeling like I have no option, I have to do this.

18:22

Well, and this is a very important point here of choosing because, yeah, you might see this ideal and be like, there's no way I could homeschool my children and we could work from home.

Like, it's not even possible or even close to possible.

But what you can do is make a choice that brings you a little bit closer to what that ideal represents.

18:44

If it represents more time as a family, if it represents being more strategic in your family relationships or in your child's education, then that's what you do.

You make a step that gets you one step closer to that ideal.

And that's the point, really.

So maybe you're in a situation right here and they're like, oh, there's no way we could home school and travel the world, but.

19:06

You can't become more.

Strategic, but I guess what I'm saying is like, maybe the desires there, you're like, actually, I told if, if I could, I would.

And if that thought is there, if that desire is there, that's fantastic because then you do what you're saying, Rachel, is you start taking steps in that direction, right.

19:22

If if you're sitting here in a situation like, oh man, I would love to have a location independent income.

I would love to do work that I love to do.

I know there's probably a lot of people listening who don't like their work.

They they genuinely don't like what they do.

And you're like, oh, well, that would be nice to do.

I love, but that's just a pipe dream.

19:37

That's not realistic.

People don't get to do what they love.

That's not true.

There are a lot of people who get to do it.

They love and you can be one of them, right.

So could, should you quit your job today?

No, But could you start the skill set to move into a career that you love 100% yeah, yes.

19:55

Maybe you're not in a spot where you could you, you want to home educate, but you you could do it right now.

So maybe you could do it next year?

Well, and then even if you, I think it would, it's something you would never do, you can still be more strategic in being involved with your child's education.

20:10

Think we have a ethical responsibility, a moral obligation to do that, to make the most of ourselves and to help our children do the same?

I've spoken with so many people.

It's like, hey, why did you go down that path?

Like I didn't, I didn't read the books.

20:27

I didn't get the skills.

I didn't put in the work.

I didn't put in the effort to pursue something else, so I just what I could right and and they admit that of their own, like why did you did you would you choose this?

Is this your dream lifestyle, your dream career?

20:44

No way.

Why are you doing it?

I was desperate and so desperation leads there.

When you choose to pursue a path that has you working from home and building a business, in our case, or homeschooling your children, that is not less work, that is more work, that is more effort, that is more responsibility, that is more that is required from you.

21:08

Like you have to grow and develop into a different, better person in order to even live that kind of life.

So it's not the easy Rd.

It's not the easy path.

It's a harder path.

Makes it laughable that it seems selfish.

Yeah, like to.

In some ways, I truly believe because we have had people tell us they don't choose that path because it is harder.

21:31

It's more work and it's easier to just be comfortable and like send your kids to school and then they come home and they do your homework and and you get to live your little life doing whatever it is you do.

Even if you're going to your job that's, you know, not that challenging, even though you don't really like it, That's an easier life.

21:46

Even though we people will say to us why I would really like this, but how well the answer is it's more work, it's more responsibility that you have to be willing to take on and to develop yourself so that you're capable enough of taking it on and and doing it well, rather than because as you're right, you're giving up the safety net.

22:09

And so there's more risk there as well.

That's good.

My question for everybody listening, it's just an it's an honest one.

Are you actively directing your own life?

Are you choosing the harder path for you and for your family?

22:29

For your children?

If not, then by default what are you choosing?

Yes, and I also believe that the most important aspect of this, and this is part of the key to this, is whether or not it is working for your child and each child's going to be different.

22:51

You know, if it's just not working and your kid is not thriving, then you have to be willing to make the sacrifices to do something different.

Like to me, hands down, that's it.

That's not optional for me.

I'm I have to be willing to make the sacrifices, including in my own lifestyle, that are necessary to help my child thrive during the child rearing ages.

23:13

And that's what we've lived by.

We've always been willing to make whatever sacrifice is necessary in order to achieve the desired outcomes we want with our children.

And to have really high desired outcomes.

I hope nobody listening will be like, you know, I'm OK with just settling for the bare minimum everything.

23:34

No, I want, I want so much more.

OK, What do I have to do to get that?

You can make a change to move closer to that idea.

And instead of saying we have, that would be nice, but I can't do that.

And what happens instead of saying I can't do this, they say things like, well, not everybody can do that, right?

23:49

No, we're not talking about everybody, we're talking about you.

And if you're saying I can't, my invitation is just ask, well, how could I, right?

How can I do things differently?

How could I change the educational package arrangement for myself and my children?

How?

24:05

How could I earn money a different way or do a different work?

Or how could I like transform my lifestyle?

Yeah, it it really makes me think of early on in our own journey, in our own life, and for people who have followed us a while, they'll know these stories.

24:20

But, you know, there were at least two or three different, let's say, forks in the road in our life where we made choices that on the outside looked crazy.

You know, they looked absurd.

They looked irrational because, you know, you were offered a high paying job earning $100,000 a more, which was not a month, a year or more, which was a lot for us back then.

24:45

Or we were going to continue pursuing our own path that would bring us closer to the ideal that we had of working from home and traveling the world, right?

We held that ideal out there like we just had this ideal.

We want to be able to travel full time as a family.

So we are going to pursue any path that gets us closer to that.

25:04

And so if something, if when you got offered these jobs that were earning good money, we just looked at them and we said that would be great, but it does not get us closer to this ideal.

I don't know how we're getting to this ideal.

We have no clue.

But this job is definitely not going to get us there.

25:20

And so we turned down the jobs and pursued something different, whether that was in one case it was a position living in India that were thought, OK, at least now we're living in another country like we want.

In other cases, it was just working on our own business and it was hard.

25:36

They were, that was a real sacrifice because instead of having financial security and having that regular paycheck and income, not even to mention when you originally quit your corporate job, you know, we took a big risk.

Like we were saying no to the, to the steady paycheck and saying yes to the uncertainty of entrepreneurship.

25:57

And it, it's been hard.

Anyone who knows our story, it was very hard.

It was very challenging.

There was a lot of sacrifice and work, but it was worth it.

That's the point.

Like we made the sacrifices.

It wasn't easy.

You could have even said it wasn't fair, Like it wasn't fair that we didn't have that advantage.

26:16

It wasn't fair that we didn't get to have a clear path laid out for us.

We had to struggle and sweat and cry and bleed and want to die sometimes, trying to scrape out some sort of existence in the world close to this ideal that we were pursuing.

26:34

And it's only because we were willing to do that that it's now our reality.

That's the only reason.

If it was easy, more people would do it.

It's because it's not easy that not that many people do it.

But that doesn't mean it's not possible.

It's totally possible.

26:49

You just have to be willing to make the sacrifice.

And I think as as many people as absolutely possible, I would say should make those sacrifices, should do some form of home education or home sourced education, should do work they love on their own terms.

27:09

And yes, society will still function.

All the things will still work out because people will innovate and create and adjust and adapt.

And so in a way, this is part of our natural evolution to become better human beings and, and a better society and community is by focusing on intimate, unique, individualized education for each child, focusing on spending more time with yourself, developing yourself, with your spouse, developing your relationships and with your family.

27:41

Like all of that is going to become more and more and more important in a world that's becoming more technological and potentially dystopian.

And that's ultimately what's going to save us, I think.

Like that's what's going to help us remain or become mentally healthy and physically healthy and, and to find meaning and purpose in a world that's losing meaning and purpose.

28:06

You know, this is, that's why I believe it's a higher way.

That's why I believe it's a better way because that's what's going to save us in the end.

Yes.

I love it so 100% I think if if you even have the desire or or you could get the desire capability, educate your children from home, do work you love, do it on your own terms, live where you want to live, live how you want to live, figure out the life you want to live your extraordinary family life and make it a reality, right.