#302 Trump/Zelensky? Find REAL Truth and Power in a Divided World

In what world do you think you understand what's going on?

I just find that to be infuriating and not helpful.

Put your pound of flesh on the on the line like you actually are.

Wisdom.

The mothers, they're crying their eyes out because they're taking their son.

Get over there and do something about it.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the extraordinary family Life podcasts.

We're your hosts, Greg and Rachel Denning, this podcast, the extraordinary family Life website, all of our resources, all of our tools exist to help you create your unique extraordinary family life.

That's what it's all for.

That's what we live for and get excited about.

That's what we work, we work for.

We want you to have an amazing family life that's on your terms and it's happy and joyful and healthy and wealthy and seriously awesome so that during your life you love it and at the end of your life you look back and be like, that was amazing.

And you're starting with that, I'm assuming, because we had a conversation wondering if discussing this topic today fits into that framework.

And yes, we know this point of our podcast is to help families living an extraordinary family life.

So should we be talking about Trump and Zelensky?

And all kinds of other stuff.

And yes, it and yes, it's in because we even, you know, had a discussion around it this morning for our family devotional with our kids who are, you know, the ones that are with us now are from 19 down to 8.

And we were.

Had varying levels of interest in that is just an.

Understanding, but we're trying to talk about world events and what's going on and the way we talk about it with our children and with each other is important.

The way engage we engage on on social media or with our friends is important.

I guess I'll start it off with a story this morning.

I had a good friend of mine.

He's he's an older gentleman who's just just a great human being.

He's from South Africa and went through all the, the turmoil there that for all the decades of his life.

And then he moved to Sweden and, and lived there for several years.

He has a home in Germany and, and now a home here in Portugal.

He was in military and, and all kinds of different things in business.

So he, he's had a lot of experience on this side of the planet, 2 continents.

And he called me Spartan.

We were, we were talking and he's like, hey, you know.

Before I let you go, he was hiring our boys to do some.

Yeah, he went to do some work and he said, before I let you go, what do you think about what happened in the in the White House last week between Trump and Zelensky and and he wanted to get my opinion.

He said, you know, I'm asking, I'm asking people what they think, especially Americans, you know what he's saying.

And of course, and this is what we're going to talk about this today.

My answer was like, well, well, I don't know.

It was it was pretty dramatic and pretty theatrical.

I think we, it could have been handled more as gentlemen and, you know, a little more class, a little bit more diplomacy.

But then even in saying that, I'm not ignorant to the fact that some discussions get ugly and they have to, and we're dealing with big issues.

There has to be some.

Conflict.

Some conflict, there has to be there.

Even in marriage, there has to be conflict.

And parenting, there's going to be some conflict.

That's a natural part of it.

And when you have cameras on you and the whole world is watching and massive things are at stake, it's really easy for us to sit in our little chairs and pass judgements about how things are to us.

And so of course, I was like, I, I can't really opine on it because I'm not an expert in Ukrainian history nor an expert in U.S. history, even though I, you know, spent 40 years there and, and I've studied U.S. history and studied world history.

There's so much depth behind everything that's going on that it would be embarrassingly ignorant and arrogant of me to think I have a very clear opinion about what's actually happening.

Well, I think that this is especially relatable to the podcast episode we recently did a few weeks ago about certainty, like is certainty a sin?

You know, it's with kind of the whole because that came from a movie and that was kind of the title of the podcast because we've had people say to us like, gosh, you guys are so certain about the things you talk about on your podcast.

Like how can you say so boldly this is how it is or this is what it's like.

And as we explained in that episode, well, that's the point of our podcast.

We're talking about the things we do know a lot about.

We're talking about the things we have studied for decades.

And experimented with and.

Right.

Well, with ourselves and many of.

Our clients, right?

So we're talking about the things we know about.

So that's why we have boldness, that's why we have certainty in those topics now, here today.

And we mentioned then, you know, we don't usually talk about this kind of stuff because we don't know we're not experts in geopolitics or European government or whatever, like all of these things we are not experts in.

And so we don't speak boldly about it.

But what what we did want to talk about today was the irony that we find of people who also are not experts on these topics and yet are declaring boldly their perspectives on Facebook as though they know what what they see that they know how it should be viewed because of their very limited perspective.

I just find that to be one, infuriating and two, not helpful in any way.

And, and honestly kind of kind of embarrassing and, and shameful.

And it, it's a slap in the face when you thought like, wait, wait a minute.

How?

How can we declare with a little Facebook post that this is who Trump is, or this is who Zelensky is, or this is what should be happening?

Or this is who we should be supporting, or this is what should be happening.

This is, you know, if this is happening, it means this that's that's.

Crazy to me.

And when, when I, when I hear people make those statements or I, I see them make those statements think are, are you, are you kidding me?

Like in what world do you think you understand what's going on?

Because Rachel and I always say this, that there's two sides to every story and then the truth.

But with something like this, there's 100 or 1000 sides to this story and then the truth.

And if anybody can actually get to the truth of something that's so complex and so complicated, it would be a miracle.

There's so much going on here that we cannot understand, so to boldly make these declarative statements is absurdly ignorant and arrogant.

Well, it's very myopic.

You're literally not taking in the full perspective, especially when when you start to dig even a little bit.

OK, that's you and me knowing practically nothing about this and digging a little bit and we're able to find out things like, well, actually this conflict has been going on for 34 years or more, at least more considering the fact that America is so young, they don't realize.

I mean, I remember when we first came to Europe, we moved to a town in now what is Germany.

The town was 700 years old. 900 It was celebrating 900 years old, but that's important because it wasn't even Germany for 900 years.

It had changed countries or or nationalities or kingdoms so many times in that period.

But the city had had existed.

It was founded and gone through all those countries.

Well, and you and I were reading part of our morning devotional with our kids.

We're reading through this series of books called the The Story of the World, and right now we're reading about these these conflicts, these changes in borders and control and nations and like.

Yeah, we we read about the 30 years war in Europe, which actually lasted for 41 years, not 30 years.

But my point is that that part of the world, Ukraine and Russia and that whole area that has changed hands so many times, there's been ongoing conflicts for centuries, if not Millennium.

Exactly.

That we're not even aware of.

And there's there's cultural things and deep heritage.

It's all there and and we're on the other side of the world.

Right on our social.

Media, so media like this is how there's ought to.

Be making a judgement based off of our awareness of the issue for the past two to three years from when the Ukraine war started, when really it's connected to a conflict that has been going on much longer than that, right?

So, so think that we can understand and make some declarative statement about this is how it should be.

This is who we should be supporting.

This is what it's about.

Unless you have literally been studying it your entire life, I don't think you can make a statement like that.

So that's what frustrates me.

And that's kind of what we want to talk about today is like, hey people, let's be more careful with our words.

Let's be more open to possibilities and more understanding and not be so bold in our political statements because all it ultimately does when we do that is cause division and divisiveness and that hands down is going to be a bigger problem for America or any nation then well.

Then your opinion what what should be?

Done.

What's what I love and admire so much about people who really do know their stuff, who have studied and paid a price to earn an opinion.

They're rarely very declarative like that.

They'll, they'll come forward and it's like, well, this is, it's actually a pretty complex issue and you know it.

It takes a lot to understand what's what's going on here.

Yeah, both sides are to blame.

You know, they've both contributed to the problem.

Just like when you're parenting your children, the best parenting strategy doesn't come in and say you're right and you're wrong.

It recognizes that both children have contributed to the issue and so both children need to be disciplined in order to actually resolve the issue.

And it's it's foolish to go in and say 1 is right and one is wrong, or 1 is good and one is bad and the same.

Same thing in this case to you paint one as the hero and the other is the villain.

Which we've literally seen Facebook post saying Zelensky hero.

I don't know.

I don't know that I don't hardly know a thing about Zelensky.

I've only known he existed for the past three years.

So how can I make a declarative statement about him as a person in his character when I don't know him at all?

And in fact, we we see that come out with our own neighbors or even extended family members.

We think we know them.

And then, you know, this happens all the time.

You find out, oh, that he's actually a crook.

He's been, you know, cheating.

On his wife.

Cheating on his wife for all these years or he's been sexually abusing children.

This happens all the time, like in in a church congregation or whatever.

And I see that soccer coach that was literally.

For years and years and years.

Actually, if you think he was a this hero in the community and all the time she's been.

Him with their kids and and for years he was sexually abusing these little boys on his soccer.

And had video of a community.

Trusted him, they thought they knew him they thought well he's a great guy and it was this horrible.

You find those things out and you like I thought I, I thought I knew them.

You don't even know your own neighbors like you think you do.

In fact, let's be honest, most people don't even understand themselves right very well.

And yet somehow they know Zelinsky is this way or Trump is that way or Putin's this way.

Like now obviously there are some telltale signs.

There are some declarative things.

There's, there's things out there, you know, with Putin, you, you can read about some of his things and what he's done and you're like, OK, there's, there's some real darkness there, right?

And and it it can become obvious, but I.

And of course, people would say the other side with Trump as well, Like there's things there.

Yeah, there's some dark things.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

And so I guess what I'm saying is like we, we want to deify or, or turn people.

He we want to vilify some and, and turn others into the heroes.

And we just want to see things as so black and white.

It's, it's really naive.

It's very childish to, to think, well, no, it, this is so blatantly obvious to me.

Black and white, good and evil and, and that's it.

And I'm going to, I'm going to post something, I'm going to put a little flag on my, my social media account.

And that's that I I'm there.

File picture.

OK, let's talk about that for a second because literally that drives me crazy and it's been going on for several years or even more now.

It's so stupid.

Changing your profile picture on Facebook does nothing.

Yeah.

Does nothing.

If you really want to support A cause, we'll go out and support the freaking cause.

Don't change your stupid profile picture.

It's so stupid I think and it's like this just follow the masses types thing and you know what the what you say about that.

Like usually with sasses the M is silent right?

Stop following the asses like why?

It's so stupid to me.

And people do it because we we want to feel like we're doing something good.

We want to feel like we're.

We're supporting the underdog, right?

Or on the right side of an issue or history.

And, and I think, I think we all, we, we need to call this out so that we put away this absurdity that somehow being an activist actually does something.

It really doesn't.

It doesn't do anything except maybe make you feel good about yourself because you probably hate yourself for all the other stupid things you do, like your horrible habits at home.

Broken relationship.

You're you're totally dysfunctional life, but wow, you're, you're an activist for something you literally know nothing about and aren't willing to do anything about.

I I just want to call people out.

Like when they throw this up on, you know, they change their, their profile picture and says I'm with them.

Like, great, when are you going over there?

And which battlefront are you going to be on?

Well, no, I no, I'm not going.

I'm not the the.

Then you don't really.

Support them, you don't do anything like if you support something.

This makes me want to swear.

Get over there and do something about it right and now to not be sound like hypocrites ourselves.

I am adamantly against human trafficking and so I went into one of the darkest hell holes on the planet to try to help out, right?

Paid my way, went in, I did something.

You should have just changed your profile.

I'm against when I support anti human trafficking.

When there's been horrendous, you know, disastrous and I've been able to go like, I don't, I don't change my profile like.

I support Cuba.

I'm with Cuba, got on an airplane.

I went to Cuba.

I did it at Honduras.

I've I've done it around the globe When you if you're going to support something self over there and supportive for reals, like get dirty and tired and hungry and thirsty and exhausted.

Put your pound of flesh on the on the line like you actually are with them.

You're pathetic.

Little you know, change your profile thing literally does nothing, does nothing.

And you might think, well, I'll just send some money.

Yeah.

Who knows where that money goes?

Yeah, exactly.

If if we're naive enough to think the money actually lands where it's supposed to.

I I have.

Yeah.

I have a bridge to sell you.

Yeah.

Somewhere.

I have some.

I have some oceanfront property in Kansas I'd really like to sell you.

Like, no way.

But you.

We've got to educate ourselves so much more.

And if you just pursue, if we all of us, if we just pursue education, we very quickly find.

Things are more complex.

That they're way more complicated than we thought and it's not black and white and I can't understand it from reading one article and I can't well, and, and four on the same side or 4:00 on the other side.

Like I have to start understanding the issue from different angles and the whole thing.

And then, yeah, after decades, I like think I have a little glimpse now.

And even if you've been there, I have friends who went and and spent months in Ukraine when the war started and they saw the devastation, they saw the destruction.

So they have a clearer view of what happened, which is powerful.

And so they have, they earned an opinion on that thing.

But even that, even being there and seeing the bomb down areas and the families and houses and lives that were destroyed, that still doesn't give them insight into what's happening behind closed doors.

Government officials.

Yeah, we still don't.

Know, and what you and I love to talk about is the levels of thinking.

There's first level thinking, second level thinking, third level thinking.

Like we're not even.

That's just the first level of thinking.

That's what you observe.

Even digging into that, there is still first level because then it's like, OK, what are the second level, third level, fourth level consequences of this issue?

And one of the things that people do not fully realize is that no matter the issue, whether it's open borders at the US or it's the Ukraine Russia war, behind the scenes is the human trafficking that's occurring simply because the borders are open or simply because the war is happening.

And, you know, especially with the friends that, you know, that went, that's what they were dealing with was the human trafficking that's occurring simply because there's a war.

There are what was the numbers like hundreds of thousands of children that have just disappeared.

The the estimates were a few 100,000 children that disappeared in a trafficking just because the conflict created so much chaos, right?

It was easy for predators to just grab people.

Exactly.

And I've also been seeing videos.

So again, another consequence.

Videos of well, we, you and I have personally met people from Ukraine as we've travelled through Europe and as we're living in Portugal.

We heard their story.

And we've heard their stories.

Were just devastating.

Very sad stories, but we've seen the videos of government officials in or I guess military essentially in the Ukraine, on the streets, kidnapping young men, anyone of fighting age to enlist in our so that they can keep fighting the war.

We were all made aware of that at the very beginning, that any, any military age.

And taught was not people who told us like you know this one woman, she was our waitress in Poland and she said that her parents were still there because her dad was not allowed to leave because no men are allowed to leave.

They had very little power or like Christine and still couldn't leave.

Her mother stayed there with her because she's like, I'm not leaving my husband, but they only had power like on the weekends.

I don't know, something weird like that.

Like it was really rough conditions that they were living in.

And here she was working in Poland just trying to survive, survive and just, you know, sad and separated from her family.

But now and again, I don't know if this has been going on the whole time or if it's just happening now or did happen before.

But you know, they're they're, they're taking them off the streets and like.

These are videos of them wrestling and the mothers, they're crying their eyes out because they're taking their son to go fight in this war.

And I don't know all the details, but we should be so hesitant to say I support Ukraine when we don't know what's going on behind the scenes because why?

Why should that mother have to lose her child to this war because Americans support Ukraine or whatever?

You know what I'm saying?

It's all connected.

We don't know.

So we should be Dang careful about what we say.

We support, right?

I don't know if I support that.

Are you?

Willing to send your child over?

Yeah, when you you change your little, you change your little profile picture.

You ready to send your kids?

Right.

Well, that's the other thing.

Because if supporting Ukraine means World War Three, no thank you, I am out.

I am not willing to have another World War just because we want to support Ukraine.

And like we said, I don't know that much about it.

But from what I do know, one of the reasons Zelensky wants well, and that perhaps one of the reasons he brought up the whole little thing that occurred in the argument was he wants America to support him getting in Ukraine, getting into NATO.

And if Ukraine gets into NATO, first of all, that's a big deal because years and years and years ago, Russia and Ukraine signed a thing and that said Ukraine promised they would never get into NATO.

That was part of the agreement.

And but if Ukraine gets into NATO, America and Europe have to support them all the NATO.

Allies.

Right, All the allies have to support them against Russia.

Of course Russia is going to have help from China.

Here we are, World War 3.

So we'll know.

But and, and yeah, those are potential things that could happen.

But I guess that's a, that's a, that's an interesting point to just kind of think about and discuss.

Like what are the, what are the unintended consequences and, and 2nd and 3rd and 4th and 5th level consequences?

Because we might look at an issue right now and think, man, we'll just, this is so black and white right here.

Like this needs to be done.

And we haven't earned the experience and wisdom to say what will be this ripple effect that creates that ripple effect that could potentially lead to another World War in in this example.

And so it's so easy for us to think, no, you should do that because we're not thinking, oh, wait a minute.

If they do this thing that at the front seems good but in the back leads to millions of deaths, would you would you still advocate?

That.

And that's the next layer and level of thinking that this fits in every aspect of life, right?

Even parenting right now, parenting is they'll use this good strategy of like, well, I'm just going to do this and make my kids do it.

And then you get that immediate result and you think ah it worked without realizing that if you do that over the long term you will have 0 relationship with your kid moving forward.

Exactly.

Well, and then on the flip side of what you're talking about, because, and this is these are the questions I asked myself, I don't know, but from the outside, everyone's saying Trump is siding with Putin, which means that is bad, which means.

Everyone is saying some some loud people.

Or some people are saying.

Like that, using very dramatic terms.

Trump is siding with Putin, which means that's a bad thing, which means he's not on the side of democracy, which means we need to support Ukraine.

That's the level of thinking.

That's the reason that doesn't make sense to me because just because that may look like what he's doing from my perspective doesn't mean that's what's happening.

I cannot presume to know that.

You and I, we were just talking about it.

We have this funny little joke that when we were first married, you were a teacher.

And I was very young looking, like I looked like a teenager.

And you were standing very close to me because I was at school.

Oh, yeah.

You had your arm around me.

And one of your bosses was down the hall and saw me.

And we saw that look in his eye where he was like, of your arm around a student.

Yeah.

He was living.

He comes storming down the hallway just like ready to RIP you to shred and.

Fire me off.

And you're like, yeah.

And you're like, oh, hey, meet my wife.

Oh, this is your wife, you know.

And he said that I thought you had your arm around a student and and he was still all fired up.

Like, dude, come on.

And that's where, like jumping to conclusions and and making assumptions, we get ourselves in a lot of trouble.

Right.

So like, yeah, I.

Well, and I guess.

That people are saying, oh, he's siding with Trump or with Putin, that's bad.

OK, I I could understand that.

But I don't know if that is actually bad.

Because what if what we need to prevent World War 3 is for him to look like he's siding with Putin, or at the very least not being a jerk to this guy, knowing that he's not going to be able to prevent World War Three if he's just a jerk to him.

It's crazy.

Yeah, again, we don't know exactly.

There's so much we don't know.

I think it's, I think it's a good healthy thing for all of us listening here and, and for, for me and for Rachel most of all, you know, just the our first mental reaction should be.

I wonder if there's more to this that I don't understand.

Exactly.

And we've learned that the hard way because you and I have made assumptions and we had rash opinions and we jumped to the island of conclusions all time and and we just made complete fools of ourselves so many times and it was embarrassing.

A fool.

And.

And you look back, you're like.

But it seemed so obvious, right?

It seems so fierce.

Yeah, I was so sure.

I'm so certain.

I could see what it was.

And then you find out more details and you're like.

Mouth and foot.

Foot and mouth and your mouth and your foot.

It was, it was so bad.

And even there were times when you when you saw somebody do something and and you were right in the assessment of the thing they did, but then you hear their life story, they stop, you go, OK, now I know why they did.

Right.

And it changes my whole paradigm.

That happened to me so many times, countless times and.

Knowing that story, you're like, oh, now I know why they did that, and I would have done the same thing, right?

If I were in their shoes, I'm sure I would have done the same thing.

But you have to have the whole story to understand that I'm I'm going.

To retell a story now that that I learned years ago, I've, I've told it other places, but I'll, I'll retell it now.

We met with one of the owners of a national soccer team as we're traveling the world.

And this is what's cool.

So you know, we've traveled to dozens of countries together extensively.

And when you go to different country, as long as you have like an open mind and, and open eyes and you're not just blind and ignorant.

When we first started traveling, we were like, America's the best.

What, why, why isn't this more like America?

Why don't they do things like Americans?

And then you realize, Oh, there's, there's ways different, so many different ways to do things and we can learn from everyone.

So travelling is very expensive opens your head and your mind expensive and.

Expensive and Yep, and it's.

All those good things, but you, you can learn so much if you're open to it.

So we're travelling one of these countries.

There's a very famous national soccer team and they had one of the best players in the world on their team and they traded them away.

The fans were I rate like they went bonkers.

Like why in the world would the managers, the owners, the other team mates?

Why would anyone tolerate trading your best player?

Like what is wrong with you people?

You're and there was this uproar is insane and and everyone watching on.

They just thought they saw it clearly.

You'd have to be the dumbest owners and managers in the world to trade away your best player.

Like, you're so ignorant.

And of course, you, you know, from the outside, the fans think they see it clearly.

Well, what they could not tell anyone was what why they did it.

They couldn't reveal it.

They couldn't make it public and they never would.

And they never have.

But the, you know, I was meeting with the owners is like, yeah, this guy pulled out a a pistol, a firearm in the locker room and was waving around in the face of the other players and the team and the managers threatening with a fire.

He pulls out a handgun in the locker room, pointing at people, yeah, that guy's out of here.

But they could never make it public.

And so all the fans always just saying you're the biggest idiot.

You did.

I see clearly he's the best player in the world and you just traded him.

You're just a bunch of blah, blah, blah.

Like, you have no idea what's going on.

You don't know, and so it's better to keep your mouth shut and think.

I wonder.

Because.

Clearly what I do see is that guy is the one of the best players and they traded him.

It seems like to me a really dumb decision for the team.

I wonder if there's something else that happened that I don't know about, that I can't know about that justified that decision, right?

And and that man.

That was so instructional for me that experience and many others like that thing.

I don't know what's going on and I and to pretend that I do it makes me look like an idiot right as and this is true across the board.

Well, and I think.

That's the point of this conversation really, is like.

Stop looking like an idiot.

You don't know what's going on.

And so it's OK to have conversations and discuss and ask questions, but it should be from an open mind, a place of like curiosity rather than this is what's happening and how could he dare do that?

And Trump is just a bully and this and that and like all these things.

I don't know.

I'm not an expert and neither are you, which is why your bold statements bother me because I know.

And that's true.

And so you shouldn't be making these declarative statements I didn't see.

One, I didn't see one where an individual said, you know, I and I, I, I support Ukraine and, and I had my initial reaction.

I was like, oh boy, here goes another profile picture and blah, blah, blah.

And then I just glanced at the caption, which is important.

I mean, I can't, Rachel, I can't even tell you how many times people just see something and then comment without you didn't.

Read.

Anything.

And they're like, I can't believe.

You'd say this, you're like, well, if you read the caption, we're actually saying the opposite, but you didn't even take 5 seconds to read the caption.

And so they just, we're, we're so reactive as people.

And so I was like, oh, here we go.

And then I just read the caption.

I'm like, oh, they took their whole family when the war started, moved, their whole family moved to Poland and we're there for a long time helping refugees Like they were in the middle of day in day out as a family, working, serving, loving these people.

All these personal stories are sharing this whole thing like they upended their whole life to go over there and help.

I'm like, OK, they've earned.

They've earned an opinion at least around that thing, right?

Of of being in Poland helping refugees.

Great.

That still doesn't put them in the government buildings in Kiev knowing what's going on, right.

And so to opine about those things would would be silly unless you were in there and in those meetings and you heard it all.

And then you wouldn't be talking publicly about it because that doesn't happen.

And that's why the public doesn't know what's going on.

And so you know, when they when they turn on the cameras, we get the performance, but we don't get the conversations that happened cameras off before or after.

And and this is true with with media today.

There are lots of arrangements that we don't know about that happened beforehand or after.

And we see because what is it that gets gets viral attention?

The drama, the.

Drama.

And so there will be, you know, fighters, UFC kind of fighters or boxers or whatever, or, or, or, or actors, actresses, they're whatever.

They will agree beforehand, hey, when the cameras roll, let's get into a fight because that gets views.

And so then and, and they realize that, you know, that that's what gets the views.

And so, you know, beforehand they're like, they're hugging, laughing, their bodies like whatever camera rolls their full competitors and they start fighting and slapping each other, throwing punches, you know, on camera like we're worst enemies ever.

It's because they both make millions because of that.

Like they're behind the scenes.

Like, dude, we're going to kill it, bro.

We'll get we'll get yachts and name them after each other because we're going to make so much money.

And then they they walk on a camera and put on the fight and was like, that was true.

What a horrible fighter.

Like it was all theatrics.

And that's not to.

Say that that's what happened.

I don't know what happened.

Scenario we don't.

Know.

But what we do believe is that each of them, everyone involved, has some sort of agenda.

Each of them is trying to accomplish something, right?

Zelensky's trying to accomplish something.

Trump is trying to accomplish something.

That's what comes out.

But we don't understand all of the nuances behind what they're trying to accomplish that leads to that disagreement, right?

And so, yeah, it's, it's difficult for us to judge the entire situation from a 32nd argument and to think, going back to the main point, to think that we understand just because of that, just because of what happens there.

It's like if someone happened.

To disciplining your.

Child and bases your entire character off of that one moment 30. 2nd discipline.

Right.

Like you don't know what led up to that and you don't know what happened after, so you can't judge that person or the whole scenario based off of just that one thing.

Like somebody one time said you.

Can't take one family photograph.

Yeah.

And and tell the whole family story, Right?

Right.

How silly would that be?

And so, you know, I, you're right.

So we, we watch a little 32nd clip and we get all fired up and then we watch the full 30 minutes and we think we understand it.

But unless you've been digging for 30 years, you probably don't know what you're talking about.

I was I was thinking.

About this other day too because my aunt shared a link with me to a YouTube video that is my family movies my old home movies like I was four and seven and I thought how fascinating and interesting it is to have this moment in time captured you know on tape those gigantic.

Video recorders giant.

Video recorder but here it is you know it was on a videotape first and now it's on the Internet.

But, you know, and my dad, who's passed away is in there, He's behind the scenes, he's talking.

But if someone, and I'm not saying there was anything bad in there that they could judge him off, but say there was something in there that were maybe he got after the kids or yelled at them or this or that or the other, and they judge their entire his entire character off of that.

That's not fair.

It's just a moment in time that's impacted by so many different factors.

We can't judge everything off of that.

Yeah, it's, it's really.

Interesting, because unless we've had experience being responsible for much bigger things, it's hard to even begin to wrap your head around it.

And I've experienced this all the time.

I, I still experience it.

I don't know.

I don't personally know what it's like to have 100 employees because I've never had 100 employees.

In fact, I've never had 10.

I don't know.

We've probably had that, but 100 employees, right?

I have no idea what it's like to be the CEO of a multi billion dollar business.

I can't even begin to wrap my head around that level responsibility.

So it'd be really silly of me to try to have an opinion about right and and pass judgement on somebody who's in that spot doing those things.

I don't even get it.

But to go to nations and wars and not?

Knowing or understanding anything about Eastern European history or politics or government or NATO or even even.

Trying to understand the position that United States place on the world as a whole right now exactly.

We we might think when you I get this like really like do you really get what it means to be in that spot and make those decisions.

I, I don't think, I don't think anyone who hasn't been there can possibly wrap their head around it because the conversations that are going behind closed doors, the decisions that are being made for secret missions that are being run for military stuff or intelligence stuff.

I mean, all the Intel that's never going to make it out to the public, that's happening 24/7 down there about like the, the assassinations and technology and hacking.

There's so much going on.

We're clueless.

And I keep thinking like, and, and, and these are like good people.

I'm not.

I'm not throwing people under the bus, but most good people have a hard time understanding what's going on in their own home or their own head.

Or their own head.

Yeah, they don't even understand their own psychology.

They're struggling with their own lives, their own habits.

They they can't.

Even imagine this house, this is where I'm going to get.

Ranting here or their?

Body.

They can't even manage to keep off that extra 20 or 40 lbs.

But man, they've got every opinion about what should be happening in the White House.

Like, how about you get clear about what's happening in your house, starting with your own body.

You can't even keep yourself from overeating the Oreos and you're, you know what should be done with international policy?

You'll see.

I'm like, come on, you can't even get your kids to laundry and get along.

Let's see.

Yeah, you have like 0 influence your kids and you're like, I know what I would tell Trump or Zelensky.

Well, one of the funny.

Things I did say about that was, and again, on the other side, I could see this perspective was essentially it was like Trump trying to discipline his entitled teenager who just, hey, more handouts, please.

I need more.

I need more.

I need more.

That's a perspective that I could see as being valid, you know.

And so here we have this little scuffle in the Oval Office.

It's like a dad disciplining his son, you know?

Yeah, that's.

That's one perspective, Samib somebody made they they put their heads on like on a jiu jitsu wrestling move and he had him like in a in a leg bar Who who was in?

Trump.

Trump had.

Let's hit a leg bar like I'll teach you, but it's like we don't know.

We don't know what's going on.

While I do agree, Rachel, I both agree.

And that's why we talk about with our kids and we talk about with each other.

While I do agree, we need to be aware.

We need to inform ourselves fully, knowing that even if we just absolutely dug in to try to inform ourselves, it would at best be scratching the surface.

Yeah, exactly.

You.

You.

Couldn't.

Possibly understand it without dedicating your life to it.

So we, we can dig in a little bit.

We should understand what's happening around the world.

We should try to understand global consequences.

We should be aware of those things.

It's important, but not near as important as your family and your health and your wealth and your habits and your happiness.

And when, when I I get to meet with people every single day, all the time, constantly meeting with people, talking to people.

Most people have dysfunctional families.

Most people are struggling just to have the things that they want in their own life, simple things.

So we honestly should focus on that, right?

We should get obsessed about our lives.

So to listener, get obsessed about your life, obsess over it like the quality of your life you want.

You may have an extraordinary marriage, extraordinary relationship with your kids, phenomenal health, great wealth.

Run your Kingdom, be the king and the queen there.

And yet, ironically and tragically, we're so caught up in the news, we're so caught up in what's going on in other places where we have 0 influence.

There isn't a single thing I can do to influence the cleaning lady in the White House.

Like there's nothing I can do about what's happening in the White House, so I need to focus on what's happening in my house Exactly.

And.

And get.

That in order and start with my own head, my own spirit, my own body and work on my little Kingdom because that's how I can have a positive impact in the world and those around me.

But the but.

Rant and.

Rave.

And you all fired up and silly about what other people should do in other nations.

Like, come on.

Yeah, because that.

Really is the only place we can have an influence.

And I truly believe and we we say this all the time, but I want to keep saying it.

That is the only way to actually make a change in the world because we don't have impact influence in any of those other areas.

But by changing ourselves and changing our families, we can spread that positive impact to our communities, to our cities, our towns, our countries eventually like it.

It's, and it seems so small and insignificant and like inconsequential, but really that's the only way it will ever actually work.

We have to have stronger individuals and stronger families if we ever want to have a stronger world.

There's just no other way.

So we have to turn inward.

We have to focus our efforts inward and then spreading it outward to the families around our immediate circle of influence.

And that's what will change the world because we can't do it another way.

Let them worry about it, let them handle it, and let's live our lives.

And we can.

Like obviously right now we're doing this by having a podcast, by having a social media platform, we're trying to spread good ideas and, and love and, and unity is.

Supposed to divisiveness.

Yeah, I I would.

Love for all of us to be able to disagree, have completely different perspectives, and still be united, right?

And not just as.

A country, but as as humanity, right?

But that happens more with this curious approach as opposed to bold certainty about This is how it is.

This is what's happening.

So black, white and.

Question.

And say, well, what about this?

And the irony to me is that the people who are so certain about it are also the ones that refuse to really study the other side.

They don't, they don't want to even even they've said they have.

But I'm like, you haven't.

Because if you did, you would be saying different things.

Not that you would necessarily convert to that side, but you would be able to articulate the other side's opinion just as strongly as you can articulate yours.

Yeah, you got you got a.

Comment about maybe today or like yesterday.

It was just like, I'm so disappointed to see you have this opinion and and the irony is that wasn't your opinion, right?

The irony was.

It was a post I made on Facebook sharing opposing, opposing.

Viewpoints.

With opposing viewpoints, the sites and.

And without even reading it.

So it's like, I'm so disappointed to you.

And I bring that up only to say that we're getting so reactive.

And so let's say I have a friend that he said he just pops up and one day is like, you know, I think this it, it would be ridiculous of me to immediately think I'm so disappointed in you that you having a different opinion.

Like how silly.

Yeah, I should be like, bro, that's really interesting.

Tell me about that.

Like, walk me through that.

Why would you think that?

Because, you know, I've, I've actually had the opposite opinion.

So I'm really curious, what would you you're you're a decent guy.

You're a smart guy.

Like walk me through that.

Yeah.

How you came to that?

Conclusion.

Yeah.

Why?

Why are you on?

That side like give me give me all of it and I can hear it all.

And then maybe at the end I I either understand him and it and it strengthens my view, or maybe we agree to disagree.

Well, at least I understand you and we can talk through that.

Or maybe he converts.

You but like oh I never he has his argument.

That's amazing.

It's new information, information I didn't have before.

So I shouldn't change my opinion if I get new information.

But for me to just be like, I'm so disappointed in you for having that opinion.

Like it's ridiculous.

Yeah.

We've got to be more intelligent.

Yeah.

And capable of understanding things and thinking through things like it's, and it's what's interesting is like, you know, maybe, maybe friends, friends might be strong words, but people we've associated with, met and connected with all over the world and just had had great time traveling together, great conversations, great memories.

And then this and an event happens and it were polarized.

And then in the comments on social media, we're attacking each other.

It's like, how silly, how dumb, like, oh, we're friends here.

Can can we have different opinions and and talk about it in a civil way?

But I guess not even the White House they can't handle civilly.

But let's let's set a better example for children.

Yeah.

And and being more educated, more open, more civil, more thoughtful and slower to jump to his rash black and white opinions.

And I'm saying this from experience.

So I was like that man.

I was Mr. Black and White and I was old about this is the way it is.

I remember I was 20.

That was before I met you.

I was 21.

I just had some really strong opinions.

And I asked this gentleman that I respected about his opinion of what I had said.

And he just simply said, you know, he's like, things aren't always as black and white as you might think.

It's all he said to me.

And I, I remember that.

Always remember that.

That's all he said.

Nothing profound there, nothing crazy.

And that was all the feedback.

I'm like, no, I want some feedback.

I want your opinion.

See.

To confirm.

Yeah, come.

On man.

He's like, things aren't always as black and white as you think.

It's interesting.

And initially I thought, oh, that's a, it's a cop out.

I'm an opinion.

Man, but he had had a lot more life experience to realize hey, it's not And there's, there's more to it.

Yeah.

Which is really wise actually.

There's a lot more to it.

So anyways, that's well.

And I I.

Think for me, that's the point I want to emphasize you and I love to talk about the labyrinth.

I also love to, I love to, I think it's all connected.

I wish you could see the vision of the labyrinth, but it's it's this entire circle of how I represent it represents truth for me.

But when you walk the labyrinth to reach the center, which is where truth is, you have to walk all four quadrants.

You have to go through all four of them.

In order to get to the.

Center.

And at some point on that journey, you're going to be in opposing places.

In opposing.

Places you have to be, but that's actually how you become fully developed.

I mean that that's what that means.

Fully developed means you've developed all parts of yourself.

I also connect this to the yin and the Yang to both hemispheres of our brain, like it's all connected.

In order to have your brain fully developed in order, in order to be balanced, which is what yin and Yang represents, ultimately you have to have all viewpoints, all perspectives, all information.

And too many people will start the journey of the labyrinth and that we see this so often and they move from where they were to a new position.

They're like, Oh my gosh, this is the truth.

That was false back.

They set up camp.

And they set up camp and.

They stay there for the rest of their lives when that's not how the journey is supposed to work.

You're actually supposed to keep going.

And I found that as I keep going on that journey, sometimes I'll come back to some original perspectives and be like, OK, I've now walked the entire labyrinth and saw where and how this is wrong, but also now how it can also be right while it's also wrong, right?

And it sounds confusing, but like that's how it works.

The journey.

That's the journey.

And so ultimately, I guess our invitation here is like, keep walking the labyrinth, keep developing both parts of your brain, left and right hemisphere, which is also directly connected to why there is a left and a right.

Politically, it represents both sides of the hemisphere.

We have to have both sides.

Otherwise you literally have half a brain.

So if you are on the left and you're like, we're so right, well, you're only half the brain.

And if you're on the right and you're like, we are so right.

You're only half the brain.

You have to have the whole brain, which means you need both sides.

You need both viewpoints, both opinions, both.

But you have to learn how to work together or else you literally are just operating with half a brain understand each other.

And think through the bigger issues and realize hey, we both might be wrong together.

Exactly.

Right.

And we both might be right together.

Yeah, this is, and this is something I think we would all be very wise to try to articulate and model for our kids so our children grow up without being in one spot, converted to this little corner of the labyrinth, because it's right.

And yeah, it is in that corner.

But then when you go to the well, there's no corner on a circle in that quadrant.

But if you if you keep going around, you go over and you're like, wow, this is right.

And you keep going around this is right too.

And, and you keep going.

And then you have the outer rings in the inner, you go all the way in and then go all the way out again.

And you, you, you realize there's, there's so many different ways to see this.

And I love this because the, the goal of the labyrinth is to get to the center.

But from every spot in the labyrinth, you have a different perspective of center.

And you keep moving.

And when you're there and you look towards center, you see what you see and it's accurate and it's real and it's it's true.

And then you move a little bit and guess what that perspective is as well.

It's like the old.

Story of the old man and the blind man and the elephant.

You know, there were six blind men, and they go up to the elephant and they say, oh, describe the elephant.

What is it like?

Well, the elephant's like a wall.

No, no, the elephant's like a rope.

No, no.

The elephant's like a snake.

No, it's like a big tree trunk.

Tree trunk?

They're all right.

They're just standing in different places.

And I think that too often, especially in the political scene, that's exactly what's happening.

It's the blind leading the blind and they're all touching a different part of the elephant and they're all fighting.

Each other because how could you know?

Because this is my experience.

Good lesson for all of us.

Remember.

OK, love you guys.

Thanks for listening.

Have a wonderful day.

Love on your family, love on yourself.

Focus on what you can.

Control get your.

House in order, starting with getting yourself in order.

I know, I know for me that was that was a humbling moment and still is a humbling moment where I think, you know, how dare I opine about things outside of me when the things inside of me aren't yet in order.

And so I can always come back and work on myself harder than I do on anything else.

And then I can work on my family and, and if my, if my relationship, my relationships aren't phenomenal, my health isn't phenomenal.

If my wealth isn't phenomenal, it in in some respects, I have no business being outside of, of my circle because I I better, yeah.

Did I get right back in there?

You try to sneak out again.

You try to get out and mess around with the neighbors or the community that you got your, you got your hands out and all the hands of themselves.

Get your butt back in your own circle and get things right there.

You have no business being out there.

In fact, like I, I feel very adamant about that.

Yeah, if if moms and dads, husbands and wives, if things aren't amazing at home, you have no business being anywhere else trying to fix things, get your butt back home and fix your family, fix your own, get things right.

And then when things are right there and you figure out systems and strategies to keep them right consistently and you've got the results to prove it, then what's what's awesome is that is you, you just become like this, a power couple and a power family that then together you can have so much positive impact on those around you in the outside world.

But to go out and do it otherwise is out of order and causes destruction of family.

I literally hear that Ultimately destruction.

Of society.

I mean, that's really what happened, right?

That that's exactly how it occurs.

What Which is easy to play?

Out because what happens is that the husband of the wife goes out and and we hear the story every day I'm sure you those of you listening hear the story every day they go out and eventually creates divorce right.

So I heard another sad story yesterday.

These, these, this couple was so committed to succeeding financially and they set five year financial goals.

Within two years, they were divorced.

They were still committed to their finances.

They, they destroy their marriage.

So then, so then a marriage breaks up and the kids break up.

Boom.

That.

So that's one little element of society, but that happens now at a level of around 50% or higher.

And now?

You have all of these single parent homes, predominantly fatherless homes and talk about, you know, the the ripple effect unintended consequences, especially for simple.

Statistics, like most of the people in prison came from fatherless homes, right?

And that's that's.

Exactly where it was going the this statistical numbers of negative outcomes, prison is just one of them.

There was it was a long list and the common denominator was fatherless.

And if I, if I remember right, what I read, it's it's roughly 40% of children being born in the US are born fatherless home.

So now it's a societal problem.

So problems in the home have become societal problems with massive unintended consequences.

And and that can all be traced back to simple ideas of like, well, yeah, we, you know, we should do this thing and do that and whatever it, and I have this right to do whatever I want.

And and you should just do what you think is best without even thinking how this could play.

Out.

In massive waste.

Well, and I I mean.

I to kind of bring up a separate topic, but I think it's very related.

I think ultimately the whole discussion about abortion is really related to that.

We're talking about the surface level issue when the root of the problem is something much deeper, which ultimately stems from broken families.

Like, if we had fewer broken families, we'd have fewer needs for abortion and fewer needs for, you know, this whole conversation that's going on, It's like, let's get back and fix the root of the problem.

And that will almost take care of itself in a way.

So anyways.

So many related issues to that that are kind of interconnected.

You start studying and observing all these patterns, societal patterns, they all kind of fit back together like a, a complicated web.

And you see all the strings connecting and realize, oh, there's some correlation here, sometimes causation.

But really it comes back to what, what can I do about it and how am I contributing to the problem?

Well, it's by not taking care of myself and those in my own home and family.

So that's where we have to do our most important work.

And you've heard that before, but are you doing it?

You say that that you know your relationship with God and and your spouse and your kids are the most important things in your life, but are you acting accordingly?

Some of you give more energy and passion and time and resources to social media and arguing than you do to your own kids and your own health.

Like just do that one thing.

Take the energy, passion and time you give to social media and put it in to get in a shape.

Watch what happened.

The average adult is spending 90 minutes a day on social media.

You spent 90 minutes a day in the gym.

Get some results.

Some people might just sit in.

The gym selfies and do that exactly you're not.

Going to post it that way go set up their tile.

Everything yeah, is take that shot and then head home like I went to the gym and I guess you did and it shows.

But yeah, putting it, putting it into the things that actually make a difference is is so important, so powerful.

All right, love you guys.

Have a wonderful day.

Reach Upward.