We like to get our podcast topics from issues that really ‘fire us up’ (it makes for better discussions).

This week, I was fired up by some comments left on an Instagram Reel (https://www.instagram.com/p/ClJ3B2xLzPe/) I created about allowing ‘boys to be boys’ with audio taken from our recent Workshop on Boys Adrift — The Growing Epidemic of Undermotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men (https://amzn.to/3EntyRe) .

Some of them said things like:



• This post really misses the mark. The toxicity that exists around masculinity has nothing to do with children having access to messy, risk-taking behavior. I agree that this is problematic for children — but it is not in anyway linked to masculinity. You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.


• What about girls and non-binary people? You don’t think this issues effect them too? Why don’t you do a post about that?


• Why are you posting something on Instagram if you’re not interested in receiving advice or feedback?


• You’re attitude is toxic. Kids should be kids. Girls DO get messy and wild outdoors… the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ is extremely problematic having been used for so long to excuse poor behavior towards women. Your post conflates ‘masculinity’ with ‘toxic masculinity’ which are two totally different things.


• Society is rejecting sexism, rudeness, entitlement and lack of accountability — the types of toxic masculinity you mention are totally using the phrase in an inappropriate context.

In this episode, Greg and I discuss these comments and address why this ‘movement’ regarding ‘toxic masculinity’ does have a direct downstream effect on some of the issues we’re seeing with boys and young men today being unmotivated and turning to video games as a way to find meaning and purpose in their lives. It’s all connected.

And we also explain how masculinity and femininity are neither good nor bad, toxic nor harmless. Like a hammer or any other tool, they’re neutral. It’s the way they are used by the individual person that determines their toxicity or validity.

If you have boys or men, young or old, in your life -- or girls who will have relationships with men one day -- then listen now to this episode regarding a topic that hasn’t yet ‘peaked’ in significance before it’s reversed or corrected.

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