We received this via email: "I read the book The Untethered Soul and I understood that the main idea is letting go of our thoughts and just feeling the emotions and letting them be. Realising some kind of detachment to them.Ā
But Iāve found it really difficult to do that. I get stuck in some thoughts in my head regarding my husband... I have arguments in my mind with him...
Iāve tried to not engage in my thoughts and let them go, but I havenāt succeeded. I think because they are not assumptions but based on previous experiences...
I donāt talk to anybody about this, but I hope by sharing this that you can help me let go.
I have small children and Iām trying to homeschool while needing to do everything else at home. My husband works full-time and doesnāt help much at home. This would be fine, but because I struggle to keep the house clean he is not happy with me. He says he feels that I disrespect him because I donāt keep the house tidy when in reality itās because I struggle at keeping it clean.
I want to be more capable of doing everything in the home and Iāve been trying so hard yet itās not enough. The thing is, mess is a daily thing so itās become a source of stress and anxiety now for me and I donāt want to live like this. Itās affecting how Iām with the kids too.
And Iāve become more cold and resentful towards my husband because heĀ doesnāt want to be more intimate with me because he doesnāt feel respected and I canāt get this out of my mind and it affects me because I crave intimacy. This is the hardest part. IĀ feel so lonely even though Iām married.Ā
I realise this is not helpful. I know he is stressed from work.Ā I just feel that nothing I do is good enough for him. He blames me for things. He is also a very anxious person. When he gets angry he brings up stuff from ten years ago. I donāt speak much, because I donāt want to āsay the wrong thingā.Ā
I just feel stuck. I feel like I donāt know how to let the thoughts flow, but I really want to, because itās all I can think about... I realise Iām not enjoying life. But because the lack of intimacy is so difficult I find it so hard to let go.Ā
Iāve never said this to anyone, but I just really want to change and live without being stuck and being able to live more happy and at peace, because it also affects how I behave towards my kids.Ā
I know being stuck in these thoughts wonāt make my situation any better, itās only making it worse. But itās been something Iāve struggled with for years and Iāve had enough. And now that I know there is a way out, Iām reaching out for help."
Thank you for this open vulnerability! I understand and relate to these feelings. We all want to feel close and connected to our spouse. It is possible when you have the right tools.
In this episode, we share specific practices you can use to:
ā¢ let go and process negative and intense emotions
ā¢ help your spouse process their negative emotions
ā¢ have more understanding of the differences between men and women which are causing conflict in your relationship
ā¢ understand your spouse's desires, needs, and points of view
ā¢ help your spouse understand your desires, needs, and points of view
ā¢ move past points of conflict and gain more intimacy as a couple
ā¢ get 'unstuck' when relationship drama is keeping you from focusing on the kids, the home, work, or other projects
ā¢ find inner peace and more effective ways to communicate with your spouse
RESOURCES:
ā¢ #262 Improve Communication with Your Spouse & Process Emotions to Build an Extraordinary Life & Marriage (https://podcast.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/262-improve-communication/)
ā¢ Get Rachel's ā ā Family Systems & Chartsā ā (https://courses.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/courses/family-systems-charts)
ā¢ Join the ā ā 28-Day Challengeā ā (https://courses.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/bundles/extraordinary-family-life-bundle) for Moms
ā¢ Rachelās ā ā Must-Read Booklist for Well-Read Momsā ā (https://www.resources.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/)
ā¢ ā Greg's ā ā Recommended Reading List for Parents & Youthā ā (https://courses.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/courses/greg-denning-booklist)
ā¢ Join the ā ā Be The Man Coaching & Tribeā ā (https://call.formidablefamilyman.com/)
ā¢ Download the ā ā ā Be The Man app on iOSā ā ā (https://apps.apple.com/us/app/be-the-man/id1609947783) or ā ā ā Androidā ā (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.pb70dhiz5hag.p96yn4g1dapp)
ā¢ Take the ā ā ā Be The Man 7-Day Challenge.ā ā ā (https://www.bethemanworkshop.com/products/be-the-family-man-challenge-men)
ā¢ Follow us on Instagram: ā @worldschoolfamilyā (https://instagram.com/worldschoolfamily) or ā @greg.denningā (https://instagra...
