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What determines the small things for you and your family?
What do you do when you're stressed?
How do you respond to traffic?
How do you respond to set backs?
What do you do when you don't have to do anything else?
What is your family culture?
What are the things you do automatically, by default?
How do you generally respond to your kids?
What is your response culture?
We need to be deliberate and intentional about our interactions with our children
What kind of response culture would you like to establish?
Do you have a "yes" culture? Do you allow your kids to fail and make mistakes?
Allow your kids to decide as much as possible as often as possible
Allow children to make mistakes when the risks aren't really big
We need to help our children figure out who they want to be, to connect with themselves
We have to change the culture of a lot of talk with no action
We are trying to help our children become aware of themselves, what they want, what they should do, what makes them feel better
At some point you have to switch from raising kids to interacting with young men and women
You start to do more mentoring and less parenting; and the more you mentor effectively, the more effective your parenting will be
How do you establish a food culture in your family and culture around food in your family?
Be proactive when you know problems can occur
Use the "cup" anytime you are going to interact with anyone: Care, Uplift, and Praise
We get into the habit of criticizing because we are not being proactive enough about caring, uplifting and praising
That encourages our children to have more positive behaviors which will naturally eliminate more negative behaviors
Sometimes we focus on telling them what we don't want them to do in a way the is criticizing and shaming, which doesn't work
Do you spend more time talking about what you want or talking about what you don't want?
"Fair" is where pigs win ribbons; life isn't always "fair" and we need to help our children understand this and process it
Sometimes we criticize our children about things that stem from our own issues
We need to deliberately establish the family cultures that we want.
