#80 The BEST Thing You Can Do For Those You Love

Rachel Denning (00:01.102)
Good morning my friends and Merry Christmas. It's Christmas morning here in the United States and I'm up early, right? The body is trained. So I stayed up late last night celebrating with my family. Just had an absolutely wonderful wonderful Christmas Eve and time together.

Went to bed and boom, my body wakes up and I'm on it. So I'm up this morning thinking about life and thinking about my wonderful, wonderful wife and our incredible children and our life together. Man, just all the good things in life and just counting blessings and filled with gratitude and love and thinking about you guys.

And I wanted to offer you a gift, a Christmas gift. And so this is going to be a special episode of that. As I thought about you, I wanted to share something beautiful, something that's made a huge difference for me in my life. And just contemplating life. Last week, an acquaintance that my kids and I were getting to know pretty well, he passed away unexpectedly. And...

And last week my brother -in -law was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery two days ago. And this time of year we always remember my father -in -law who was diagnosed with cancer right after I met Rachel. When we first met he got sick and he really, he went after it, you know, fought a good fight and ended up passing away a couple years later.

and remember my other brother -in -law who passed away. And so it's a time to contemplate life and how special life is, how special every day is, every moment, every relationship, and how fast it flies by. Last night I had a good long conversation with my wife's uncle. And...

Rachel Denning (02:07.245)
He was talking, reminiscing about his childhood and his whole career. And he's been retired now for a while. And it's all gone. Like it happened. The past, you know, 50 years, 70 years, there it goes. And it flies by. And I've been thinking about the last decade and how much life has changed and the reality check in the next decade. Right. The years keep getting faster for me, probably for you too.

And in the next 10 years, we have seven children. In 10 years from now, my fifth child will have moved out already. So we'll only have two kids at home in the next decade. And so life, man, life is so precious and so good and so important. And we gotta.

I'm gonna take advantage of really living it. And so that's why I wanted to give you this special gift this morning. I wanted to share some thoughts with you and express my love and admiration for you and gratitude that you're listening, that you're a part of my life, that I can be a small part of yours, and that together we can strive to do our best in this journey of life. Well, one of the things I was thinking about the most is giving gifts.

to the people we love. You guys, I love it. I love giving gifts. When you're a kid, you love Christmas because you love getting gifts or birthdays or whatever. But when you then get a family, man, the excitement for me for Christmas is trying to surprise my kids and my wife. I love it. man, I love it. It's so awesome. And giving them gifts. But I want to put a little twist on it this morning.

Years ago I was thinking, you know, what's the absolute very best gift that I could give my wife or give my children? The people I love the most, what is the best thing that I can give them? And I had a big aha, a big reality check. And in order to introduce this, let me flip it on the other side.

Rachel Denning (04:18.093)
What's the very best gift that your loved ones could give you? And as I thought about that, it occurred to me that the very thing that I would want from them is actually the very thing that I want for them. I want my kids and my wife to be genuinely happy. I want them to be living their

best life possible, to be reaching for their potential, to just be good people living good lives. That's what I want more than anything else is to help them do that. And I realized, whoa, like the best thing I could ever get from them is what I want for them. And it's for them to be happy and to be their best selves and reach for their potential. And then I flipped it.

What's the best thing that I could give my wife and give my children, give the people I love? Well, it's to make the most of myself. That's the best gift. There's nothing material that compares with giving them the very best of who I am. Think about that. The best gift that you can give to those you love.

is to become your very best self. It's to change. It's to grow. It's to improve. It's to acquire new knowledge and new skills and new attitudes, new habits. That's for all of us. For some of us, it's to end an addiction or some poor behavior, some bad habits. It's to level up.

Some of us need to earn more for our loved ones. Some of us might actually need to earn less for our loved ones. It's to be present.

Rachel Denning (06:24.621)
Maybe it's that they need more from you and more of you. It's to be truly happy.

Literally at the end of the day, the best thing that you and I can do for God or for others is to make the most of ourselves. You know, have you ever got caught in this pattern like I did that we would tell ourselves that, you know, next year it'll be different. Boy, by next Christmas, things will be different. By next New Year's, by my next birthday, you know what? They're gonna be different. But on and on we go.

And we think somehow that because the time changes or the year changes that we'll just kind of change too. Or we think that as we get older we'll just automatically get better. But many of us just get older. And the time changes but we don't change.

And as I, you know, when I contemplate.

how much I just love and adore my wife and my children and the people in my life and I want to give them gifts and I want to serve them and surprise them. The best thing I can do is to be my best self. And you know it's interesting how how long our loved ones might struggle or strain or even suffer while we remain as we are.

Rachel Denning (07:56.173)
and how patient they are, and how long suffering, and how they bear and tolerate our weaknesses.

But my invitation, my gift to you, to them, to life this morning is that because of love, because of love, let us really change, truly improve. Like from this day forward, we are no longer the person we were before.

It's like the Christmas Carol, right? Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol. The screws changes. That's why we love that movie, that story, because he changes. He transforms. From being this wretch to being this wonderful, loving leader, he transforms.

And we can do that. We're no longer the person we were before, but we're a new and a better and an upgraded self. The best versions of ourselves. And we're willing to lay it on the line. We're willing to make massive shifts.

And it might be something like, you know what? We're no longer gonna consume all that junk food.

Rachel Denning (09:19.629)
Because it's not helping us. We're tanking our own energy levels and we're not as healthy as we could be, which is putting a strain on our family now and definitely will in the future. If I don't take care of my body, I'm actually future thinking, I'm actually forcing my loved ones in the future to have to take care of me and all my health problems. Isn't that interesting to think about? We're no longer going to explode with anger. Like you can choose today, and I had to do this, my friends.

Those of you know my story like I had a crazy temper when I was in my teens well as a child and in my teens and Luckily before I met Rachel before we ever had any kids I realized you know what this this can no longer be a part of my life no more no more and I gave up anger and explosions and That that can be one of the greatest gifts think about that think about that if you get

grumpy or ornery or explosive just to be done. Like no more. And you have that power. You have that choice. What a gift. What a gift. There's nothing material there. There's nothing tangible. But to say, you know what my gift to my loved ones is I'm not going to explode in anger anymore. I'm done with that. We can give them the gift of no longer neglecting our duties. Like if there's something we have to do, we do it.

We stop talking about it. We stop going on and on making excuses to stories we tell ourselves. We just, we do it. For some of you getting in great health, you might need to lose some weight and get in great shape. That's going to be your gift. And what better gift can you give than to give your health and energy and vibrancy back to those you love. For some of us, it'll be to no longer waste time. No more.

We might have, you know, been blown, wasting our lives away. Just sitting around doing nothing or distracted on some kind of device or TV or whatever. No more. We're gonna give them our time. We're gonna be fully present. my goodness. Like the people you love, they want your presence more than your presence. Like the actual gifts. They want you to be there. What better gift can you give anyone? Think about that.

Rachel Denning (11:48.013)
Your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your children, especially your children. What better gift could we give them than to be 100 % present when we're with them? We're all there mentally, emotionally, spiritually. We are engaged. We're there. Not just kind of there in the same room and kind of there thinking about something else or there wishing we were somewhere else.

but there. What a gift. Do you know your family, they want you to be happy. They really, really do. Your kids, you know, we want our kids to be happy. Our kids want us to be happy.

What a gift. Isn't that a fun and exciting one to think about? One of the best gifts that we could give the people we love is to genuinely be happy.

Are you happy? Are you letting yourself be truly happy? Does it just exude it? You radiate happiness? It's not a show, not an act. You're just happy. That's one of the best things you could do for the people you love, is just to be happy. Sometimes we get so busy and we're so caught up in life, and we're just going on and on and...

forget to be happy. Or we choose to be upset or bothered or frustrated all the time and we try to tie our happiness to circumstances or events or other people's validation or approval or, you know, I'll be happy when my kids are out of diapers or maybe if you're single you'll say, well, I'll be happy when I'm married or I'll be happy when the kids are a little bit older then it's not so hard and then I can be happy. I'll be happy when they're...

Rachel Denning (13:44.397)
when they're teens and then then then their teens are like, man, I'll be happy when they're not teens. And then then you go through these things, right? And we keep saying, I'll be happy when I'll be happy. And we pass weeks and months and years or decades, you know, saying, I'll be happy later. When we could have been happy all along. The happiness is an inside job. be happy. Maybe one of our gifts is that we no longer just try to get by with the mere minimums. Right?

but we step it up. No more. No more just sneaking by with life and doing just enough. But that we are truly awake, energized and alive. That we're just radiating love and forgiveness. For some of us, the best gift we can give is to forgive.

That's a big one. For some of us, it's to let go of our past mistakes or the mistakes of others in the past. Just gonna let that go. To no longer carry the grudge and the bitterness and the weight of the past. Just to let it go. These painful feelings that we're carrying around, that could be the best gift ever just to let that thing go. No more. It's no longer a part of your life. It's a negative weight. But to be free.

And so literally in every sense to be your very best self. And this isn't like a switch in that tomorrow you're going to just be like, woo, that you're well, hold on. You can't, you may not be able to change who you are overnight. I can't change your destination overnight, but you can absolutely change direction overnight. In fact, in a moment.

And so we can change course and we can be striving. There are some things we can totally change and let go. In an instant, in a moment, right now, we can decide and be done. Be done with the old way and just be new. That is totally possible. I've seen it many times. I've done it myself. Just be done. And that's the best thing we can give. So all around, every part of your life, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, socially, financially.

Rachel Denning (16:09.005)
everywhere of your life be your absolute best self. And that's the most wonderful gift we can give. That's the best thing we can do for the people we love. That's the best Christmas gift. That's the best birthday gift. It's just the best gift if you want to give with love and everything you have. Think about how much you cherish. Think about... Will you feel this right now with me? Let me think...

See your spouse.

how grateful you are, how much you love them, when you fell in love, and why you asked them to marry, you asked or said yes to marriage, like, why'd you get married? Think about your children and how you've sacrificed for them. Think about close friends and family members. How much you just cherish them, how much you would miss them if they were gone. And say, you know, because of love, because I love you so much, I'm gonna make the most of myself.

and I'm gonna give that holy and fully. I'm going to live. That's what they need. That's what our loved ones need from us. They need us to live, to really truly live, to live our lives, to be chasing down our dreams and our potential, to be facing our fears and our challenges, and rise up and be alive. And that's what the world needs. The world needs people who are just lit up.

because they're doing great things and being their best selves. So this is my gift to you. And my commitment to be my best self, I'm gonna have the best year ever, ever. I'm on it, friends. man, and every year is my best year, right? Every year is my new best year. It's awesome, because that's the way I wanna live life. And this one's gonna even be better. I'm really going after this time. And I'm gonna make the most of myself so that I can serve you.

Rachel Denning (18:13.293)
more and be a gift to you and for you and help you live your best life and love you guys. I love life and love Christmas. Love God. And I just I love that every time I think about this. The best thing I can do for God or for the people I love or for mankind in general is to be the be my best self to make the most of myself. So let's do this together. My friends, let's do it together. Let's get out. Let's live.

Extraordinary life so that each day at the end of the day whether we die that night or We have another day to keep going but every day we our heads hit the pill and we can say yeah today I lived today. I lived I love you guys remember. We're training for greatness every day. We're training every day. We're training for greatness and That awesome is always an option no matter what we can we can stop at any moment and we can choose awesome

We can make the most of it and we can always reach upward. So let's do that friends. Love you guys. Merry Christmas and the new year's coming. Let's be our very best selves. Reach upward.

Rachel Denning (19:33.613)
Hey everybody, thanks so much for listening to this episode. I hope you got a lot of value out of it and found some things that you can apply to your life right away. Hey, I'm being totally sincere when I say I live to help you live your extraordinary life. So I hope you'll reach out to me if you have any questions or let me know how I can help you in any important area of your life. And in fact, you know, this, this podcast is brought to you by the school of awesome sauce monthly coaching program. Take advantage of that. Get in there. If it's the,

best way to get a breakthrough to the next level so you can level up your health, your spirituality, your emotions, your mind, your relationships, your finances, business, every part of your life. Just get in there where you have a coach and a mentor, you have a supportive community to make things happen. So jump in there, take advantage of this, try it out, get in there with us and level up your life. See you on the inside. Reach upward.